3/18/2014 Here's what you DON'T say to a joint replacement recipient. PLEASE do read this.

SO here's a thing you should know to never do - and you would probably be shocked how many times people use it as a go-to conversation piece when they know you've had new hips (Or probably knees, or other joints) installed. I have NO idea where it came from. 

"I'll bet you wonder why you didn't do it sooner!!!"  

Really??! Because you assume that everyone who had to have one or two hip replacements just decided they'd oh, wait a while, it just isn't convenient, and hey! I LOVE excruciating pain and the inability to walk, or function in my life!!! Why NOT procrastinate?!? 

Lemme hip you to some facts. Pun fully intended. 

1. if you get to a damage and pain level to where you need a new joint or two, you will not put it off. Fear? HA! The terror of living in pain that hovers around an 8 or 9 makes the fear of surgery into child's play. 

2. In my case, I was *mis-diagnosed*. Yes, you got that right. I told a doctor about  8 years ago now that I was having some pain in my inner thigh. He took ONE x-ray from one angle,  looked at it and pronounced, "Well the bones look fine, it must be soft tissue damage. Go home and take a lot of ibuprofen. We'll do some blood tests if it doesn't get better. "

I had the blood tests done by another doctor - nothing conclusive, but a higher lever of something I can't remember, which coudl have been produced by the carpal she was treating me for. 

So - that hip dysplasia I was born with, that no one ever saw (INCLUDING this self-important buffoon), that gave me oblong hip sockets at birth (Yes - they're supposed to be round) 

and by age 55 ground all of the cartilage off acetabulum (socket) and femur head - turning that from spherical and smooth to flat and ground to dust - I was treating it ACTIVELY - AS SOFT TISSUE DAMAGE - with yoga, Pilates physical therapy, multi-disciplinary chiropractic, acupuncture, and therapeutic massage. All of which helped keep me on my feet longer than would have been expected - but none of which was that right treatment for my ACTUAL malady. Thanks, Dr. Varughese. Thanks for your neglect. 

My mistake was not getting a new Primary care physician sooner. I had grown to distrust them from many incidents - mine and those of loved ones. 

and 3. When you throw that cheery-sounding little homily at someone, what you probably DON'T know is this: for most joint replacements, particularly ones in the weight bearing lower limbs, doctors often make the patient wait for joint replacement - particularly before about 4-5 years ago. So they probably not NOT choose to wait, if wait, they did. 

Now, very recently, technology has become such that artificial joints can last decades, but until then, and sometimes even now, they may not last a very long time, so they would make you wait until you were reallllly bad-off to do the replacement surgery 

My VERY well-informed opinion is this: Making someone wait is cruel. You are robbing them of their prime years of life, and then making their bodies break down from stress and pain hormones. These hormones and the stress make it much more difficult to maintain a healthy weight, and weaken muscles from disuse - exercise isn't exactly useful when it causes screaming pain. They also rob you of sleep, the ability to shop for and prepare decent food - basic needs dwindle as pain levels increase. I say, if your doc won't do it and you REALLY feel you can't bear up any longer, FIRE YOUR DOCTOR and start looking for a new one. 

SO - there might indeed be a few people who put off joint replacements. I'm thinking from experience - mine and that of at least a dozen friends and their relatives - that a large majority of people do NOT choose to put it off, and you are insulting us when you throw out that little bon mot. 

I am not so dumb as to try to continue in the kind of pain I ultimately experienced. It was a nightmare that lasted years and robbed me of my beautiful life. And you're just pissing me off in the awkward attempt at trying to show that you know something about hip replacement. 

Guess what? I know a F*ck of a lot more about it than you do - unless you've had it done, or you're an orthopedic surgeon or nurse, or physical therapist - I REALLY do. And your best tactic if you really are interested is to shut up and listen Ask some intelligent questions. I LOVE talking about to to someone who is willing to learn something. 

Or - just shut up. One of my favorite new things is NOT getting noticed for it. There's no walker, often no cane, sometimes no limp at all! People still feel compelled to comment on how fast i'm moving on the world. 

That's a very nice and well-meaning thing, and I truly do appreciate being cheered on... it feels AMAZING on a very good day to pretty much breese through the day. But "normal" (My new improved Mindful Normal) is also really really COOL! 

So - please don't think you're making clever conversation when you are essentially accusing someone of being neglectful of their health. 

Cause I REALLLLLY wanted to use that walker all around town, and hey - it wasn't hard to get accustomed to the stigma of it AT ALL... and canes are so convenient and never a pain in the ass. no *REALLY*. 

Thank you - rant over... for the moment. Carry on! 

-M