1/31/2014 VERY Happy Lunar New Year - the Year of the Wood Horse

Oh, BOY is this a BIG day!!

It's the Lunar New Year - and big changes are promised - and apparently, it's TRUE! :)

After a long work week, and a long work DAY - then straight to dinner with friends at Tuli, just around the corner from me - I had been doing pretty well today after a couple of stiff and sore days... so I made CERTAIN yesterday and today to get up from my desk at least once an hour ( and I STUCK with it!) , do a few knee lifts and toe lifts and stretches... got round work pretty dang well today, not putting much weight on my cane at all! Several stretches just carrying it, even... Mostly I wsa stiffest when I got up, so I sat for less time! OK... - then I got to dinner, where my friends ooohed and aaahed at how great I was looking and how well I am getting around - always nice... I made sure to get up TWICE at dinner to stretch...

When we left dinner, my friend Paul Galloway said, "Ok - let's do just a FEW dance steps just so I can say I was the first one to dance with you!" and we did just a couple of quick little steps on the sidewalk in front of Tuli, but I really DID them - no limp, movin' my hips! just kind of a little two-step... but it was fun!!

Here's where it gets really good... I got home, got out of the car, carried my cane - very, very slight limp, slight pain, almost zero - took the stairs reciprocal all the way up! THEN - always mindful and focusing - I left the cane standing - walked in the kitchen, fed the cats, walked back to my room, changed clothes, went to the loo... back to the livingroom.. realized I'd left my ipad in the car - not a good idea. SO... I got brave! I threw on my jacket, and - BAREFOOT, because I COULD - I left the cane IN the apartment, reciprocated down the stairs, walked around the car to unlock it, back around to get the ipad out, *BARELY* perceptible limp, reciprocated UP the stairs just holding the rail, not pulling it - SUPPORTING MYSELF WITH BOTH LEGS.

And I did NOT over do it.

I came into the house with a HUGE grin!!!

 

I will still use my cane *sometimes* - for trips with longs stretches to walk, like big stores or the theatre... and maybe just the light, collapsible one I bought - and have one handy on the car just in case (Of course, I left the walker at the foot of my bed "Just in case" and it stood there for two weeks - I finally folded it up. :D ). But for the vast most part - I am *free*.

I will still go to PT next Wednesday, and see what they think, because I want to do this the best I possible can. But - what a feeling!!!

XOXO! 

THE BIGGEST celebration will come when I am pain-free and no longer need the cane at all - but I was so surprised!!! Someone at dinner asked me "How much longer do you think until the cane goes?" and I said, well, maybe two weeks, maybe a month - it feels different day to day... An hour later, I was leavin' it behind!!!

I can't stop grinning, and I don' wanna!!

Dear Readers - TAKE NOTE!!! THIS is where it gets REALLY good - and last Tuesday was exactly two months after my second surgery!

1/30/2014 from Antsy to Happy and Better in a day

My Facebook status this afternoon - I was tired and bored (I don't get bored at work much, but it's a funny transition time - it RAINS and then lulls - just for the moment... )

"Terribly antsy today. Patience (with myself/cranky healing muscles) is just a skoshi bit thin... At such moments I remind myself to remember where my road has taken me, then have a look FORWARD to the time when this thing or that will no longer be the "it only hurts when I..." Moments... And see where I am right now in the scale of that road. And it looks pretty freakin' good, even if I'm sick of the cane, or me knees are stoopit when I get up... Or walkin' from the car to wherever feels like the road to Bataan (ok - a little grim hyperbole there)... But in the scheme of things, better is much closer that worst.

I prolly need a nap, too... No naps just now. Psh."

GOOD things, though - last night in bed after finishing my physical therapy routine, I realized as I turned over onto my left side to get comfortable - I tucked my pillow into a comfortable configuration, settled, took a deep breath - and - almost nothing hurt. 

My shoulder - they are a little cranky from all the upper-body substitution supprt they have had to provide - was a little sore - but it as barely noticeable. Othe than that = I was comfortable - so comfortable. 

I cannot count the times I have wondered, "Will I ever be truly able to relax painlessly again??" 

It was pretty a desperate thought - nothing drastic - but it is pretty daunting to wonder if you can ever be comfortable again. It was beautiful, and I drifted off 

Today, too - I was a little stiff and sore - and I MADE myself remember to get up and MOVE AROUND at my desk, almost every hour - do some knee lifts - 10 per side - and toe lifts and heel leans backward, and good big stretches of my knees, sitting, and my hips, ,standing - and it was better - quite a lot better. 

Such a smal, smal difference of movement - less than a couple of minutes in the whole scheme of the day, but my god - it made every bit f difference in how I felt walking around!! 

MINDFULNESS. Constant attention to is, and vigilance. 

After I had written that status above is when I put my mind to it - I had just been in the loo, sat down and had a goodly surge of muscle pain around hte hip joints - that happens, and it's nothing dire - it's a wave, and it goes away... but I was SICK of it. 

I just wanted to feel no pain - the same same same things were getting to me. 

A good kind friend at work who has been through physical issues - a brain surgery to remove a tumor! - happened to be in the loo, too and I was able to just share with her that I was having a "moment". she listened beautifully, and kindly, and empathized, and cheered me. 

"Shared joy is increased, shared grief is diminished." - Spider Robinson

One of my favorite quotes. 

So after that, I made more effort, and it got better - and getting to and from rehearsal was pretty good, and I REMEMBERED to stand up and stretch and sit in a different kind of chair there... it was all a lot better. 

SO - good things. and I am always looking toward them. 

I also had a lively, really nice conversation with one of my dearest ones of all on the phone as he drove out of town. Always uplifting and energizing! 

A good night. 

I am going to go have a little snack - rehearsal always makes me hungry! I am not losing weight as quickly - BUT!!! The costumer took my measurements and I have lost an inch in each of my measurements since the last show I did there in 2012! :) Happy news indeed! 

But a snack I must have! It may have to be grilled cheese... or maybe a quesadilla. 

:) I may be poor (Hips are bloody expensive), but I am pretty happy. 

January 28 and 29 2014

I missed posting here yesterday - got to bed far too late. 

It was not a hugely remarkable day - a little stiff and sore, but able to get around - at this phase, I am pretty stiff when I first get up, but once I get moving, I can glide along pretty well... just the TINIEST bit of leaning on the cane makes a BIG difference. I wish I could pinpoint it so I could take care of it! 

I start Physical Therapy again next Wednesday ( I was thining it was THIS week, drat!) 

 Dearly hoping it gets me moving in that last phase , to ever-reduced pain and stability. 

I know I know I know - it takes time, and there's paitience required, and I need to do this RIGHT, and I'll need the cane off and on for a while... 

But I am needing to get some things accomplished, and dearly hoping for some next-level improvement, soon. 

I discovered yesterday that one of my heros, Pete Seeger, died. He was 94, but - the world is less without him. I hope his legacy carries on and on and on. 

Not much else happened yesterday - not much in the way of epiphanies or discoveries, though my hips do get more flexible and limber to the outside and the inside every day, 

I haven't iced in a week or more., and I think that may be making a difference. You know - once you get feeling a god bit better, if not all the way, sometimes you just want a little NORMAL. 

It's winter, and frankly packing down in ice, particularly in the warm core area in the inner crook of your hip - ok, AKA crotch - isn't very comfortable. ANd I seem to have misplaced my heat pack. It's *somewhere* ... but I really ned to get back to ice. 

This morning I made it out the door pretty fast. I AM enjoying that - and getting across the lawn/berm and sidewalk and off the curb to the car without it being a big obstacle-y ordeal. I keep my eyes open, and pay attention still, but I can just get over there and into the car. 

It rained today, and as Shuana pointed out, it was kind of great that it waited until I am getting around better to not be such a concern - wet pavement. I negotiated puddles just fine, and no worries. 

I *did* have some trouble with a heavy door at rehearsal tonight - that theatre building is FULL of ne refurbished doors that are VERY heavy and really stiff to open! I had it, but some how I got the damn quad cane tangled ot caught and tripped - just a little hitch-step, but it wasn't fun or comfortable. Not awful - but you always get a little flash of "What if that had been worse??" 

I THINK I am past the stage where the hip replacement class training nurse was telling us that even a hitch-steptype of trip, which I did in fact do, was dangerous and could cause problems - but them I counted again today, and you know - it is WEIRD that it  has been less than two months. Just, flat WEIRD. 

At least I know that if I fall, I can now get back up on my own - of course, If I fell in front of the cast and crew, there would be a half dozen or more people there in a heartbeat to off help and be sure I was OK... it's how theatre people work - but I'll be perfectly content not to test that, thank you. 

I don't know why, but my ankle swelled for the first time in ages tonight. Perhaps because I had to stand a while longer that I am used to waiting for someone to open the door into the shortest path into the theatre - we also ended up starting out in the main theatre, so it was a bit longer walk. 

I sit too long in rehearsal too - and perhaps I will try one of the folding fabric -cushioned seats, instead of the molded plastic rolling ones, which are comfortable, but the pressure on the back of my legs might be too much just now. 

Good music rehearsal tonight. we got through about half of it, growing it and polishing it... and getting it recorded to rehearse with, too. 

I've been up much too late for too many nights in a row... I'm for pt and bed. 

Dearly hoping I am not as sore tomorrow as I have been for a few days. 

Perhaps (if I remember) I'l but a heat pack on my knee tomorrow. 

'Night.

1/25/2014 a Lovely Social Saturday (Skipped a day so we're a little out of order)

A fine Saturday! My friend Mariam has moved to the neighborhood, and this morning she walked over the 1/2 mile to my place and we had coffee and visited, and a nice walk about two and half blocks! 

I wasn't sore from wearing heals last night or sitting and visiting out on the restaurant patio, and felt pretty rested (Slept about 3:30 am to 8, then back to sleep till 10:30). 

Awoke still wonderfully energized from the terrific time last night! 

After Mariam left, I got ready for a Tardis Tea party :) Lots of my friends are big Dr. Who fans - we in the theatre tend to embrace our Geek - I found a character I could dress as pretty easily - River Song - curly hair, jeans, a collared white shirt, leather jacket and a prop gun... researching her, I realized I picked a complex and bad-ass character! LOVE the women in Dr. Who stories. 

Had a *great* time at the party - it felt like I was participating in the party - getting my own food, etc, moving around pretty easily (Only a little on the cane), where as, up to now, most of the events I ahve attended, though fun, and through o one's behavior, felt a bit like I was out of the loop... hard to describe it, but being unable to move easily, having to depend on people for plates or drinks, hauling the walker around, etc., just made me feel set apart. Friends have been nothing but welcoming and generous, but it is WONDERFUL to be feeling an actual PART of my social circle again!

After that, I met my friend Sarah for dinner - we sat outside again - no heater this time, and it ws fine - but at the end of the FOUR HOURS, we got very chilly! It was a wonderful long chat, and she's a terrific friend. 

I came home to find I'd let the windows wide open in the warm sunshiny day! I am SO cold even now - it's taken almost two hours and the floor is still cold. 

A happy day, indeed! 

1/27/2014 A Quiet Night at Home

I woke up feeling the effects of staying up too late - very tired -  but was out of the house in decent time. 

Hurrah for increasing mobility! 

A day of hard work, but not a hard day... 

home at a decent time... a somewhat inactive evening. 

I had hoped to see a Fado artist whom I like, performing in Folsom, but I knew it would be too much, so home it was. 

Mostly a night of tv - and learning the deeply sad news of hte passing of a hero of mine, Pete Seeger. There is a big hole in the world tonight. 

I am pretty physically sore tonight... I imagine it has to do with lack of sleep and not much movement tonight. I did get up and stretch, but not enough, I think. I just need to get to bed do my night PT and get to sleep. 

I expect I'll be a bit less creaky tomorrow - it sees to be how it goes. 

I find that I am stepping up one-step rises (Curbs, the step up from my living room and kitchen, etc.) with my right foot as much as with my left, a natural occurrence, and, while I am paying attention, I am letting it happen when it wants to, because it means that it is stronger and does want to. I still notice, when I see my reflection walking without the cane a little at a time, that my right leg tends to bend somewhat outward from the knee down, so I am trying to concentrate on walking with my feet closer together and the leg straighter. Hoping it will mend up pretty soon, the cranky thing. 

This is why I still need to go to outpatient physical therapy - to tackle that last home stretch. 

I read a Chinese horoscope today about this year being the year of the Fire Horse - and how it will bring us out of a darkness of the last two tumultuous, terrible years. I have been feeling that for so long, that 2014 holds energy, love, hope, prosperity, burgeoning health and promise of happiness - it has been coming in clear waves to me for some time. Good to have a little backup on that, whatever you believe. 

Goodnight, Irene - I'll see you in my dreams... 

1/26/2014 Figurative Leaps and Bounds - Many Improvements and Accomplishments Today.

Sunday Morning

Slept in today - I enjoy a long lie on a Sunday, Also, knowing I'll be watching Sherlock tonight until midnight, and unlikely to get right to sleep, it's not a bad thing. 

Did a good thorough, non-rushed PT session, adding reps. I am feelign a good amount of strength in my core  - doing this twice a day, every single day without exception, even though it's not "Gym-strength" heavy duty working out, has absolutely made a different in my strength! I can now do a leg-lift - sort of a V-lift with mostly the lower body? - quite easily. That has always been a weak point for me, as my abs were just not very strong (and I didn't do much about it, until about seven years ago when hip pain began to limit me). 

It feels good to use my ab strength, even with my round body shape (Which is becoming less and less round with more and more exercise and movement!) and be able to sustain a pose without discomfort or trembling. 

A week from Wednesday I will begin outpatient physical therapy (Unless they get a cancellation that I can take) to boost that last bit of strength to my right hip, and work on this right knee - the bursitis and stress it has taken all this time are keeping it a little cranky - though it does continue to improve with PT, ice and a little heat. I'm hoping we can add maybe some more ice therapy, TENS and ultrasound to the mix and really take care of it. 

I spend more and more time off the cane now - looking for the day when I'm ready to move from the heavier quad-cane to a lighter foldable one given to me by a friend. 

I did get in about 15 minutes on the stationary bike today! Very loosening for all of those joints up and down my legs. 

************************

Very early Monday morning - so still sort of Sunday... 

This afternoon I listened to The Splendid Table on NPR - I do enjoy the program... 

Took a little nap, contacted some friends on Facebook, and then off to the grocery store. 

It had to happen today - groceries were getting low, especially canned cat food for Miss Electra, who is getting alarmingly thin. We are trying to get her to the vet - the friend who asked me to foster them in the first place is helping out, and I am most grateful. 

I found a disabled parking spot opening up as I arrived into the busy parking lot, walked into the store with my cane, and grabbed a motorized cart. It was a little tricky maneuvering in the crowd, but I have gotten bold - not rude - but not timid, either - of course, just about the time I will be able to retire the cane and motor cart! But - today, I was happy to have it.

I purchased a lot of high- phosphorous foods -  Mushrooms, rice bran, buckwheat cereal, sardines... lots of green leafies for Vitamin K - all very very good for bone growth. I am DETERMINED, now that I am really getting stronger, to grow in the tiny gaps between my re-sculpted acetabulum and the new artificial hip sockets. There will be no loosening, no "rocking", and especially no Revisions. I have had my share of hip surgeries, bless you and thank you very, very much.

 I got home with three bags of Groceries and - BIG accomplishment - carried three in one hand while I used the cane in the other - and then getting them up the stairs in one trip! My process, as long as I have the cane, is: Put the bags on a step or steps three stairs up, walk up to them, pick them up and put them three steps higher, repeat until I get to the top! It takes a minute, but it works! 

I made dinner - stir-friend mushrooms, zucchini, kale and shallots with black sesame seeds, and  side of tinned sardines in olive oil with lemon. It was a very tasty combination, extremely good for me  - aside from the white rise I put it over... but it was a good meal! 

Then I settled down with some pudding for dessert - ALSO high in phosporous (Not- chocolate, so I had rice pudding) - who knew?!? - and some Downton Abbey and My favorite, Sherlock! 

Unfortunately, the rich and vegetal meal had turned my guts a bit liquid, so there wer a few quick trips tp the loo. but it seems all worked out now. I watched a very moving documentary on Independent Lens, also, about a wonderful young man called Rocky Braat, who visited India, went to an orphanage for children with AIDS, fell in love with them and felt a calling to stay and care for them and provide them with consistent love, and stayed. It is beautiful, heart rending and a great story of great kindness and gratitude.  

Of course, It is now 1:55 on a work night... but it was worth it, and I was a bit too wound up from Sherlock to sleep yet. 

So, in among this evening of watching good telly - several things normalized. I sat on the couch again - only the second time since surgery - the easy chair just is so convenient - but not close enough to the tv for watching something of the quality and detail of Sherlock. I got comfy,  found myself tuck my leg up cozily (I have always been a leg-folder and tucker before the hips went south), in total comfort. I also gently tried to sit cross-legged taylor-fsahion, but my right leg wasn't *quite* fully limber enough yet. And then, when I went to get up to "skip to the loo", it was perhaps the first time that I felt no effort, anxiety, to get up from that lower surface, and I didn't have to do a big preparation - I just positioned myself naturally properly, and up I floated, and scuttled off to the bathroom. 

I was *aware* of it - but it was not a big deal. It was great. 

The skin on my legs has regained it's proper texture - it was kind of mottled, a bit scarred from a few patches of eczema which had come and gone and left temporary scars, and reddish - from inflammation, swelling and possibly from blood pressure issues, na dpretty dry - and I had been unable to apply lotion or oil to it for several years. Even cutting my toe nails was nearly impossible. 

THey are looking slim and healthy again, and only swell, and just a bit, when I walk a lot and sit a lot (As with metal restaurant chairs, or such). and it goes away quickly. I was noticing how they look normal and  my ankles look slim again - I've always been happy with my nice ankles... allow a girl a small bit of gentle vanity... and the skin is smooth and soft again. 

I feel younger every week, and I look it too. Not itn eh "Younger is Better - recapture the suppleness of your Youth, because Age is BAD" craziness of our society - but in the way that my health is restoring, and  my 55 year old body, which is very healthy aside from the congenital hip and coeliac issues, is beginning to look HEALTHY again, and more vital  - because it is - and not am unhealthy 85, which is what it ws beginning to really resemble. 

Anterior Hip Replacements all around!!! 

ALlright, then - time for PT exercises, and sleep! Up for work in the morning - at least I took a night shower and will be out of here in jig time. 

Have you any idea how WONDERFUL a thing that simple statement is?? That I can rush to get ready for work if I need to, and actually move at a faster pace?!? It is beautiful. 

And - no rehearsal tomorrow night! I may get a ticket to see an admired Fado musician at a theatre in Folsom, where I work... we will see. The price is good, but I may need the rest, too. 

1/24/2014 There's Life in the Ol' Girl Yet! A Fine Friday

It has been  seven weeks since my second Hip Replacement on the right, and 22.5 weeks (a bit over 5 1/2 months) since my first hip replacement on the left. I know it has been a while, when suddenly I am not totally aware of how long it has been and had to stop to count the weeks. I like that. 

A much better day at work - Changes are, as changes will do, ironing out their kinks, flowing more smoothly - it makes for a much happier everyone. 

SO many people at work notice and comment, "Look at you go!", "Wow - you're really MOVING!", 

"Hey, Speed Racer!" 

It feels really good. But I have to say, nothing so far has felt as good as this evening. I had plans with friends Mel and Gary with whom I got re-aquanted after many years away,  in the last six months or so - genuinely Good people. Creative, funny, great story tellers - I love them. They are also old friends of my close friend, Jt, and we have all been trying to get together and reunite them, too. Well, yesterday, I checked with Jt, *just on the off chance* that his crazy work schedule might have opened up - and sure as hell - it did! Last minute miracle! 

Which is all very lovely - but the thing is - this is the first time I've seen Jt since just before surgery #2 - we had a great day visiting then, and life has been crazy from both angles. 

So - this is the first time he had seen me without a walker in six months, let alone walking under my own power. He's been one of my most important Angels through this whole process - so incredibly supportive and given me so much advice, training, body mechanics knowledge - it has made a huge difference in my process and recovery. 

This evening he called to let me know he was on his way, but had hit traffic. He let me know where he was, and I told him, "Well, I'm changing from my work clothes, so I should be ready when you get here" (about five - ten minutes). 

Sez he (He is funny and cheeky - read this that way), "Yeah, sure - I know how slowly you move!" 

Sez me, "Oh, NO you don't!!" 

Jt(with a laugh): "Oh - well, I guess you're right, now!" 

I laughed. Told him, "The door's open, come on in when you get here." 

And when he walked in the door, and I was SO EXCITED to be able to leave that cane standing where it was and walk right up to greet him, the look on his face was a treasure. He gives the best hugs on the planet, and tonight's were great and abundant and appreciated. He *gets* it. And he was truly, totally delighted for me. It takes a lot to impress him, and he was fully admittedly, Impressed!! He's seen me go from, "Um - it seems I can't stand with my feet together for that grounding exercise in singing you wanted me to try - in fact, not any closer than about a foot. Hm," about four years ago, and then going places with me many times when we had to deal with the walker, and where to park, and logistics and pain and limitations and what I could NOT do (always graciously, patiently, kindly and yet, NORMALLY - no pity, just understanding)  to where I am today - with such reduced pain and increased ability, it really is pretty amazing. And he *GETS IT*. And each time I showed him that I could, indeed put my feet together, or cross my left leg over my right (The right will come soon!), or swivel one knee outward or inward - and especially when I just got down and sat on the floor a moment , and then got back up again all on my own, he celebrated it with me. 

Did I mention the thing about him getting it? Because he does. 

And did I mention that, as we were going out for dinner - I wore my new HEELS for the first time!? They are low, comfortable, but pretty black patent leather Mary-Jane pumps - and it was wonderful to wear them with no problem at all. 

We had a splendid evening with Mel and Gary - as I was absolutely certain it would be, it was merry, jolly, a little raunchy as Theatrefolk can be, and full of stories and laughter and teasing and fun! The first, I trust, of many! I am not feeling over-tired - rather, energized! After dinner, which was on the patio and did get pretty chilly by the end of the night - we re-convened at my apartment and continued with more very fine conversation - what a fun, funny, bloody SMART group of people! I love them. 

My spark is rekindling, and it feels glorious! Life. It is very, very good. 

If you are about to go through a hip replacement - this is what you have to look forward to! A VERY short period of post-op pain - which is likely less than that pain you had before surgery. A little frustration for a short time, as you long to get your abilities back - then a little time with patience and tenacity with your physical therapy - and your life comes flooding back. A first it's gradual - but then it accelerates. Be VERY mindful, and diligent, and always check in to see of you are over-doing it. If you are, give yourself a quiet day then next day and pull back just a little notch... Never skip your Physical Therapy routine, but don't walk as much or as far, perhaps, you will know what you need to adjust... but know that as your life gets better and your body heals and pain decreases, your spirit soars, your happiness increases as your health does. You will not regret it, if you pay attention and take good care of yourself. You get one chance to get it right. If you do, it is like a long series of little and big miracles. 

1/23/2014 Work and Play - the Hard and the Soft of it

I had a hard time waking up this morning - first time.. I really need to stay on top of that. 

But - I refused to let being late be an excuse to skip PT. NOTHING is more important than gettign stronger and healing. Pt does not get skipped, ever. Some of the standing exercises maybe, but I am getting a lot of standing/walking PT, and I do several of them at work throughout the day. 

Hard day at work - my manager is a wonderful person - I am SO lucky she is my boss... but today, she had SO MUCH coming at her from SO many angles, she lost her cool for a while. I compared notes with a fellow junior of hers, and we both got it... she was just stretched too thin, and it was definitely geting to her. So we chalked it up to stress, and sure enough, by the end of the day, she was back to her great self again. We plan to find her a nice bottle of wine as a thank you/we get it gift. 

But it was a little rough, so I was pretty tired. 

But - not too tired to get over to my dear friend David's to take him a couple of bags of clothes, donated by a coworker's brother - David's bedroom, containing every possession he owned - burned last week. This wonderful community has absolutely rallied around him, and I was so thrilled to be one of the people who could take him some stylish and comfortable clothes - shirts, jeans and shoes. He loved them, and was so grateful. 

That was a real pick-me-up - being able to deliver them - to help someone else (though I didn't give the clothes, I did solicit them! ) after so very, very long not being able to do pretty much ANYTHING for myself, and having such an indescribable amount of kind help. Paying it forward was absolutely wonderful. 

Off to a music rehearsal of Cannery Row - found a great parking place - I LOVE the wonderful Parking Karma I have always had, especially in these days! - and it was a great rehearsal. We got through almost everything (not including one song we are still trying to find music for) and it was really fun. 

SInging again is just MAGICAL! It feeds my soul, and having this much progress so soon  - we don't even open for another fiver weeks! - is wonderful too! 

I had a great conversation with a great friend with whom I am planning a cabaret show - we both had fresh new ideas for it, and are more committed to making it happen than every before! Thrilling! 

 

Life is starting to fire on it's cylinders more smoothly every day. 

Also, today - less pain yet  - and getting around yet better! 

Dinner plans were made for tomorrow evening with some of my favorite people - it's a reunion for three of them, so it should be a happy. lively and jolly night! 

And I cannot wait to show them how well I am getting around - the last time they each saw me, I was on the walker, still. I love showing off how well I'm moving through the world. 

Jt knows body mechanics, and is very, very astute, so I must keep my presence of mind and stay on top of moving correctly, smoothly - he'll call me on it if I don't, and I love that. Really appreciate it. 

That said - it IS the end of the night and I have been sitting quite a lot.. so I'll wobble of to bed in just a bit - pt, and then sleep. 

12/22/2014 Another Day of Better.

Let's see...

I got in to work before several others today - it's fun to see their reaction ( I'm getting in at leave 30 minutes before I have been, as I can get ready much more nimbly now). 

Worked hard loading in websites - they are changing my web platform and there's quite a flurry.  Still pretty tired at the end of the day.

I did sit out on the patio at work soaking up beautiful, delicious sunshine. It felt divine - it may be unseasonable warm here in California, while we have a terrible drought, and the rest of the nation is frozen solid and snowing beyond reason - but the sunshine just felt great. And I'll take that, since I cannot do anything to change it, and enjoying it does no harm! 

Met two dear friends for dinner - good food, great company. It's been a while since we've caught up. 

I got Gluten- bombed for the first time that I know of in some time. I've been very careful to avoid it, as an auto-immune response was the last thing I wanted during surgery time. 

BUT - I forgot to specify gluten-free Bread - my friend was so generous as to not only treat, but to save me a few steps to place my order. It's a vegan and partly gluten-free restaurant, and she thought they were all GF, too - it looks like it! But *I* forgot to specify - I only took one bite, but we suddenly realized that it wasn't GF bread. She was so apologetic - and it was entirely my error! We got it sorted, and I am hoping that the one bit was little enough not to have much of a effect. Fortunately, it's ben a while, and my system is pretty strong and healthy by now. No harm done - but it was just a moment of "Oh, crap!" 

It was a wonderful evening, though, and I look forward to seeing them again soon! They only live a block and a half up the street! We've been busy. :) 

Home again, and a little R&R - to bed soon. Rehearsal tomorrow night, and I need to keep from getting too exhausted. Perhaps my worst discipline - getting to bed at  decent time. Otherwise I do pretty well - but bedtime - oy. 

Also - a little TMI follow-up - my whole raw- bum issue seems to *finally, finally* be clearing up. It has been very much back-and-forth. good for a while, and then flaring for one reason and another. It seems all those tissues have calmed, finally - sitting is comfortable most anywhere and for long periods of time ( though my joints are a bit stiff if I don't move about a bit). this is really such a big relief! a big part of feelign "normal" again... bit by bit! 

"Baby steps - we accept 'em as legal tender around here." 

                                                   -Me

With that, I bid you adieu. 

1/21/2014 A Bit of a Rant... and Back in the Theatre

Today it happened again. An event which always infuriates me - and though I don't like being that angry, I think, at least, annoyance is justified.

I walk with a cane and a limp, still. 

At work, walking from my desk to the bathroom (In fairly urgent need - busy afternoon, holding it too long), to discover two empty regular stalls, but the disabled stall is occupied. Usually, the person inside perceives (Probably from the sound of the cane on the floor) that someone is in need of the stall, and finishes up and I can use in in decent time. I'm OK with that.

But this person was clearly camped for the duration.

Causing me to have to LEAVE the bathroom, take the elevator downstairs to another one, and wait THERE for the person who was finishing up in *that* disabled stall (The other stall was empty in the smaller downstairs bathroom).

It is usually the same one or two people (I have seen them leave, and saw one of them leave on my way back to my desk). Do they not *get* that they are causing someone else distress or pain, or is it that they just don't care? Likely, it is somewhere in the middle - they think the odds are small that the people (there is more than one person here who is in need of the disabled stall) who need the rails/elevated seat won't come in while they are parked there to have a nice long relaxed dump. May she thinks, "My taxes paid for it - I'm gonna use it, dammit!!!" Isn't that nice, and entitled? Mine did, too, and I freaking NEED it.

Again I say it - it's not the Luxury Suite, or the Poo Room, ot the "Because I paid for it!" room. It is the Disabled stall - and the reason people need that particular kind of stall is that they cannot physically USE the ones with no rail and low toilets.
NOT just in case they have a wheelchair, or even a walker (though that was my need for six months), but because they NEED the rail and elevated seat to actually get up from the toilet - without pain - but also sometimes, AT ALL.

There have been, over the last many months, a few times in some places (mostly private homes) that I had a very hard time getting up, and was thinking I'd have to call someone to help me up. Not the end of the world - but certainly no fun, not really an option in a public restroom. 

I am better able to do it now, though it is still challenging and somewhat painful, but when it is a provided facility, I would really like to have it available - for me OR ANYONE ELSE who needs it! Someone might be recovering from abdominal surgery… a broken leg… other orthopedic issues, or have arthritis. And not just older people - it is invisible, often, the physical need for the disabled facilities.

I just wish people would get out of their little self-centered worlds enough to understand that they are causing others difficulty.

I guarantee that, once I am fully mobile and no longer in pain, I will never use it, and I will retire my disabled parking placard and gladly, thankfully walk the block or two. But I am grateful for the people who fought for the Americans with Disabilities Act. 

OK - rant over. 

Otherwise it was an allright day, Up and out the door for an annual company meeting near work, then a somewhat hectic workday, and a rehearsal this evening. I am tired, but perhaps a little less-so as time goes on. 

Singing again is rewarding, and it feels wonderful to set foot in a theatre again - smell the space (each theatre has its own smell, and it tends to smell like Home to actors and technicians)  and the sawdust as I walk through the scene shop, and the energy of the enthusiastic young actors and musicians... I am happy there again. 

I have had a little concern about my left hip - more pain and that slight, faint pop... I may just wait the month until my next post-surgery X-rays and  check with Dr, Smith... it seems to have subsided a bit today, and that's good. 

I may check in with the Physical Therapist I am seeing next week... 

But it if continues to bother me, I will definitely check with Dr, Smith via email. Still mostly successful at not letting it be a worry - but the balance of keeping a mindful eye on it. 

1/20/2014 Good mornings, Good Rehearsals, Tired Evenings

This morning I as able to get up, ready, and out the door to get to work earlier that I have in - a year? more? IT was great to clock in at 9:04 - yes - that's early for me. Of course, my usual 9:30 or later keeps me there until 6-ish - and I am so tired of that - and I am in rehearsals now, so need to get a move on. 
I probably walked more that I should - the upstairs kitchenette was closed, so I made a fairly long walk unnecessarily to get coffee and water. At lunch, I walked around considerably more that necessary, too - I am used to planning every step for efficiency - and today I just let that go, as I was getting around well. 
By the time I got off work, I was feeling it. 

We had a great music rehearsal for Cannery Row - our two young musicians - Nathan, about 19 or 20, and Tylen, 15 (!) are really, really good. It was just as Luther (The bassist and my good friend, who is my generation, and also the head of the theatre department ) and I were hoping - it went smoothly, and was great fun! We sang through several songs - more than half of them! - coordinating the cues and what is needed in the show - most of the time we are just singing a verse or so.
the boys really got creative, and were flexible and able to transpose when needed. Great, creative fun!
I was able to park close, and the walk was not very far. I probably should have stood and stretched - we were working solid for a bit over two hours, and I was stiff afterward, for sure. 

I love that this is a piece where I don't have to learn all of the music - most of it, I am very familiar with, and more than half of it, I have been working on learning in advance.  It 's a little bit of luxury to be able to concentrate nearly from the beginning on quality, instead of having to learn all of the music.
Great 1930's standards, most of them.
I get to sing the line "Down the road of life we'll fly, automobubbling, you and I!" Could it be more fun that that?

I had tacos for dinner last night and tonight - not good enough. Home-made, with quality ingredients, but I need real vegetables, and lots of them. They take more time to cook, but I really need to make that happen. I hope I can tomorrow night - I have some post-op-time leftovers thawing for tomorrow night's dinner, and I hope to cook some eggplant, cauliflower or kale to go with them. 

My sister Toni has finally made her way home from her travels here on the Left Coast. We had a good phone call today, and I love catching her up on all my progresses. She is so proud and enthusiastic for me - it makes it personal, going through it with someone. It feels great to tell her about my newest accomplishments. 

Of course, tonight, I am creaky and sore and tired. The left hip is actually pretty painful - not BIG painful, but more than it's been. I dearly hop this is because I am doing more and more, and exercising more, walking more, etc. 

I will drop Dr. Smith a note - it may mean yet another unplanned trip for more s-rays to make sure that all is well. 
I think about all of the X-rays I have had and will yet have as this process happens - it seems like a lot. 
I hope it isn't an issue - I dearly hope my surgeon would have that in mind. I trust him completely. 
I may ask him about that, too. 

Really I just want to be walking. All the time. No cane, and no pain. **Patience, patience, patience.**

I am very tired, and that always makes it a little tougher to deal with what seems to me a fairly consistent late- night issue of feeling a little less enthusiastic or bright, and the little worries about the later-day fatigue and soreness weigh a little heavier. 
I expect this is all very normal. 

And, since there is a company-wide meeting in the morning which I need to really get there early for, I need to wrap it up here and get some sleep.

Adieu!
-M

1/19/2014 A Fine Sunday

My Facebook status this afternoon: "We discovered a few weeks after my second hip surgery that, when my sister would hear me make this sort of low throaty chuckle from another room, it was because I was discovering yet another ability I had regained. Stepping in and out of the tub without leaning on the grab bar, being able to stand with my feet together, an increase in my range of motion, leaning down to pick something up from the floor (Not use a grabber to pick it up), put pants on with no pain, suddenly being able to sleep on my side, etc., etc., etc. It still happens - such as just a minute ago, when I finished another trip down the hall without my cane - a lot of that today, with less of a limp and less pain. It's been a sore couple of days, and this is great. I love it. That kinda naughty-sounding chuckle is really just a thrilled registration that it Just Keeps Gettin' Better. Lately, these moments are coming at just the right time, when I'm thinking, "Crap. It's been a rough couple of days... maybe I'm going to plateau for a while..." I appreciate that timing.
I think I'll go take a little walk. before the sun goes down. Cheers!"

I did indeed take that walk, a full two blocks at a brisk pace, an ACTUAL brisk pace - no creeping along any more - and at leas a third of it was just carrying the cane, not using it, with good balance, very slight limp and little pain - mostly of that in the right knee. THEN I ascended the stairs - reciprocating the whole way! It was a lovely evening, too. 

It felt really great!

My friend who had borrowed my car yesterday dove up just as I was arriving - I kind of had a feeling she might! The only parking space was on the corner - four spaces / 1/4 block back from my ideal space, which is right in front up my apartment - and I was so pleased to find that there was no worry about that at all! An easy walk from the stairs there for tomorrow morning! A very different outlook, indeed! More than a space further either way has struck worry into my heart for so long. Pain is a nasty monster. 

I had a lovely visit with Deanna and then she went on her way, getting a ride home from her roomie who was working nearby - perfect! 

In the evening, I made tacos and watched Downton Abbey - two episodes - and the - the Season 3 US /PBS Premiere of Sherlock! Even though I've watched them online already, it was a delight to watch them with my friends, checking in a bit with each other on Facebook. Good fun! The Game's afoot, indeed! 

I sat on the couch to watch the whole two hours ( Including a post show 1/2 hour behind the scenes special - dessert!) - First time I've sat on the couch since surgery #2 - it's that modern low furniture thing - and it felt wonderfully comfy! No problem getting up off of it, either! :) Lovely to sit a bit closer than my recliner, and just have a wee change of scene! SYmbolic of it all, too - a bit more Normal. 

And now it's very, very late, and I have work AND a music rehearsal tomorrow - so off to be with me! 

But that was great fun, and I am always for great fun! There has been far too little of it for far too long! 

Night, night, luvs! 

-M

1/18/2014 A Very Good Day - Sunshine and a Massage.

1/18/2014

A fairly quiet and very lovely day! 

I got distracted this morning and didn't get in my full PT session for the first time maybe ever post-op - not good, but I did several standing exercise ses as I got ready. 

I drove to my massage about 30 minutes up the freeway - here in Northern California we are having a terrible drought. 

No rain week after week... and in January, it should be raining a lot, and our coldest part of the year. 

It's getting down to the upper 30's most nights - but - it was somewhere around 72 degrees today and BEAUTIFULLY sunny! We are pretty concerned about the drought here - really - we are the cradle of the nations' produce. That's bad... but I found myself feeling so happy and comfortable with the warm sun and fresh air on my skin - I made a choice: 

"There is NOTHING I can do to change to weather today. It would be REALLY good if it were snowing in the mountains and raining here in the valley. But - it is not. I cannot change that. And so - It is OK for me, and I am not an awful person, if I allow myself to revel in the beauty of this day!! SIlver Linings, babies - it's what I am about. Celebrate the good stuff. We will get rain one day. 

But today - I was REALLY happy! My massage was wonderful - the first since Thanksgiving week, and it was just great. Curt, my massage therapist, walked out, used to getting the walker out of the back of my car for me before... but I told him, "Hell, no! Not that thing!" With a smile - and swung out of the car and stood right up with my cane, and picked it up and took a few showoff steps. He was pretty happy for me - he's a great friend as well as massage therapist. 

It was no problem at ALL to cimb up onto the massage table - it has been for a long time... and when it came time to roll over on my back, I was able to do it all on my own, pain free! Curt is used to having to help me rool over and it being REALLY painful and full of "Ouchy noises" as I have referred to them. 

i.e., 

"I make a lot of Ouchy noises - don;t worry - it just hurts, and you'll want to help but there's nothing you can do - so - just ignore me unless I ask for help." Groaning, grunting, intakes of air through my teeth - all involuntary, all unavoidable - BEFORE. All gone now! 

I still have pain, but ever-diminishing, and completely manageable! The only way it holds me back is in the distance I can walk, and my ability to completely freely walk without the cane at all.... 

All in good time. 

SO it was a great, happy day! 

I had one concern, though - all day (Maybe it started a bit yesterday?) I have noticed a slight, mild "clunk" or "Pop" in my left hip joint. Remember - we are watching my joints carefully, having had to have them re-scuplted pretty seriously due to hip dysplasia. Where there is usually no cement used, he used screws - two on the left, and then took extra time, packed it with bone dust and used THREE screws on the right side. The Joy of Genetics!! 

 The left had a very very small gap in one spot on the ex-ray that still needs to fill in with bone. So - Dr Smith is keeping a watch on it. I have an appointment at then end of February (Two months after my post-op appointment) to check the progress. THe thing one does NOT want to happen, is for that little gap to cause instability, and the connection to loosen and start to sort of rock - that's bad - painful - and would need a Revision. IE - he would have to go back in and re-do the socket. I hate that. NO MORE SURGERY - please!!!! 

SO. Hearing - no, really more *feeling* a little clunk with each step of my left leg? A little ominous... 

so I looked it up. I Googled "Is it normal for a hip replacement to click?"

And found this in a Hip Replacement FAQ: "19. Is it normal to have a clicking or a clunk within my hip? • The clicking or clunking some experience following a hip replacement is the artificial surfaces coming together."

So - I'm going to take that as "Normal", and not worry a bit about it.

I have worried and worried so much through this process. I'm done worrying.

Attention must be paid, as a wise man once wrote, and it is. I may even drop a little note to my surgeon to be certain. BUt I feel good and confident about it.

I simply never want to let something like that just go on and on, hoping it gets better, any more.

This afternoon, I loaned a friend my car so she could drive to an audition out of town - SO many people have helped me this past year - when my car dies and I wa without one (I drive half an hour to work, and at that time I was in a professional production - VERY BAD TIMING - also, being about two weeks before my hips finally went South! HAve I mentioned I had a REALLY BAD YEAR?) and I just put the word out - "On the off chance, is there anyone who has a car they are not using who might let me borrow it for a bit?" And within a day I had enough car loans offered to get me through about two months. AMAZING. Then a friend sold me her little darling 1997 Rav4 for $1,000 - it runs beautifully, and is practically custom-made for my short stature - I love this car!

SO - when I heard that my friend needed a way to get to auditions, I was DELIGHTED to pay it forward! Had a lovely visit with her - she's a doll! And sent her off into the sunset with my little car to get her there safely and back.