8/31/2014 Working it Out...

I didn't make it to the Farmer's Market this morning - stayed up too late knitting on a beautiful pair of fingerless "writer's gloves" with lovely wool yarn brought back from Dublin by a friend last year. Glad to be creating again...

So this morning I realized at 10:30, before my shower, that I hadn't time for the Market. 

But I met a dear friend for brunch, and it was tonic to see her. Se get each other... this is a very god thing. 

I am finding that part of my lonely feeling has to do with my best friend Deb being gone... a somewhat delayed reaction almost a year after her death, as I am back to the mobility I had in the days we spend a lot of time together, as well as, even in the days of being very busy, needing to make time - she would give me a Christmas gift of a beautiful calendar and a page of stickers :"Time with Deb". She had the same, and we would make sure to get a date on the calendar very month, using those stickers.  simple, beautiful gift. 

And so, I realize that one of the elements of my boredom and lonely feeling has a lot to do with the hole she leaves in my heart. 

I am deeply grateful to have many lovely friends, but in life, people pair off and group up... and my closest group has disbursed somewhat. 

It is a little difficult. It is also a touch harder when you are single, as I am. I have very important male friends with whom I get to spend time as often as possible, but time and distance being what they are, sometimes, that is not often enough. 

Still a bit in that arroyo of - if not self-pity, at least restlessness. So many things I would do with more money and more people to spend time with. 

I am also craving cooler weather to get out of the house and walk in. I took a nap, and the light was pretty much gone when I woke up... not the smartest idea to walk alone in the dark... it i a pretty safe area, but sometimes summer gets a little crazy. 

And so it goes... a three day vacation with nothing planned, and frustration. 

Sorry that this isn't the happiest and most Hopeful of posts... it is something others may run into, and I am simply working on a way to re-insert myself back into the world better. I'll let you know what I figure out!! 

8/30/2014 Unanticipated Boredom...

Hmmm... well... 

Here's a thing I didn't anticipate. Here I am a year plus after surgery #1, and able to get around very, very well - just need to build stamina, but of course, that is something that is alway good to do. But there's really nothing that I would say I am not really able to do yet - maybe take a long hike, yet. But otherwise, good! 

So, here I am with a WONDERFUL THREE DAY WEEKEND! And here I am - still single... and three-day weekends seem to be for couples and families to get away and do all of the THINGS! Camping - hiking - kayaking - romantic getaways... 

i am not feeling sorry for myself because I "don't have a man" ... I have wonderful people with who I can and often do spend time... 

But there is only so much that is as fun to do solo as with someone, and well, there's that budget... and it is bloody hot... 

But there they are - tons of photos of friends off camping, kayaking, taking romantic trips to the ocean. 

And the first half of day One of Three - I am bored and a bit cranky, stuck much too much to Facebook and Screens to keep me occupied... 

I knitted today, organized some of my new living room configuration (a year's worth of nesting around the big lifter/recliner which I no longer need, got rid of yesterday, and need to get it al sorted and tossed or put away again... 

Finished a wonderful book last night... 

I could study some Portuguese and read or write some poetry... Those are all tied to computer/iPad too... 

I am just antsy.. and I had forgotten about that, because when it is a given that you will be at home sitting, your world becomes very small, and you rarely, rarely go out unless you have saved up the energy and are willing to sacrifice energy the next day. 

So, though there is NO lack of gratitude for the very energy and capabilities I now have again - I would love to go dancing, to the river, any amount of activity... I have opted out of theatre *quite* yet for various reasons, so my time is not filled with rehearsal and learning material... very soon, but not quite yet. .

I feel like a bored 56-going on 40 teenager. 

I am about to grocery shop, and this evening will cook dinner and watch a bit of Doctor Who (new episode - yahoo!) and do at least half an hour on my recumbent stationary bike... But I need to be in the company of people. 

I have the Farmer's Market and brunch with a friend planned tomorrow morning... that's a good thing. 

*sigh*. 

 

 

8/26/14 Not Settling - A Happy Life - Goals

Yesterday I had my walk  - six blocks - shorter than usual, and I am trying to make them longer and get to a mile regularly (about 12-14 blocks,) but six is superior to none. I always pace myself, planning my route so that I can take the  option to go ahead and make for home or add another block to go around if I feel up to it.
I decided that I needed to do the exercise bike, too - and on a week night! I watched Sherlock win seven Emmy Awards as I cycled.
I love it on days when I can do both walk and cycle. It's one reason I'm not unhappy about not accepting a role in the Christmas show I was offered. More time to make sure I keen the routine and get stronger and healthier as time goes...
I will be in a show in the spring. I'm also really looking hard for an adult dance class - they are hard to find ( and afford), but I've been given some leads to explore. One recommended ballet studio offers one beginning contemporary dance class - exactly what I need - but it is not on their calendar right now. I'll keep an eye out for it and keep looking

I do also hope to start a nearby yoga class very soon. It is a special restorative class, and sounds perfect for me.
Budget allowing.
I hate that budget (stretched to breaking by the payments I have for my part of my hip surgery medical expenses, even though I have insurance that paid for all but 1.25 % of the surgeries and my share of office visits... still, they are very expensive surgeries. And so I cannot sometimes afford the supplements which keep me at optimal health/healing, or physical sup[port such as dance classes, yoga, massage or chiropractic care.
This is frustrating.

As compared to the vast benefits of having the hip replacements, they are relatively small issues - but I will not settle for "better". I will use this opportunity to be the best possible. It would be a huge injustice to me and to my life to just settle for - "Oh, neat! I can walk now! What's on TV? I don't feel like getting on the bike or walking tonight. So what if I'm a little stiff tomorrow?"
And more the next day, and then I am just getting by.
And sure - I watch some TV on a quiet night. I knit or get on the bike, or just relax after a long day. But I would rather, and more and more often do, get out - meet a friend for coffee, walk, get to the Farmer's Market, see a play, hear poetry read live, or read some myself at an open mic... and of course there are the times of be4ing in rehearsal or performances - that's the STUFF!
But the idea of a sedentary life spend in front of a TV when I have the precious physical ability to get out and MOVE is just too much.

I refuse to just get by! My life and what I can contribute in the world are worth so much more than that.
Life is good, so very, very good. It is a gift, and taking the best care possible of it is our personal duty. Due diligence - not just hanging out.

People often talk about Goals in Life.
There is this is idea that you have to want to be a CEO, or to Get to New York/Broadway, or Get Married and Have Babies... These are all wonderful plans...
But when I think about goals - I live in a place where I am happy, and amongst people whom I love and who love me.
I work in a job which, though is not a huge paycheck, is stable and also with good people.
And I have the opportunity to perform on stages as an Actor, a Singer, a budding Poet; to Direct other actors sometimes, or provide them with costumes or props which I have made or procured - to help to make a show look just right...

It's not that I don't have a Goal... it is that my goals are on-going... I think that my Goal is where I am. Not to settle, or be complacent or lazy. I am doing what I love to do, NOW. I am creating HERE.
And if I were to find myself with a better income, I would be happier, and if I were to somehow find that I could make my livelihood only creating Art, and not having to drive to and from to a 9-5 job, that would be even lovelier.
Yet, I understand that this is my choice, and for many good reasons. I love my life 90% of the time... I like it 95% of the time, and the 5% that I may not be so happy with? Well, them's pretty damned good percentages.

I'll continue to strive to take better and better care of myself,  become stronger and healthier, and eat good, delicious, healthy food with the occasional indulgence...
Bring on the chocolate! Here's to a happy life!

8/20/2014 One Year Out

It has been one year since my first hip surgery, the left one. 

I meant for today to be a landmark - to write something long and meaningful. But there were circumstances - mostly ones on the internet - which caused me a good bit of consternation. There's this Ice Bucket Challenge - people created it to get publicity nd awareness out on the internet to raise much-needed funds for ALS research. It's a horrible, terrifying disease. 2-5 years average, and you are gone.

No one - read, "drug companies" - seems to think it is important - read, "profitable" - enough to give attention and research to. So people who love people who are suffering with it took action. Within five weeks, it have raised 38 million (Probably more now) and counting, over the previous year in that five weeks - 1.8 million. The funds go to people who need assistive devices for breathing, speaking, moving, everything. There has never been enough to go around and also go to research... now there is. 

 Anda bunch of entitled, small minded asses decided to created a backlash. Backlashes suck.People can be such righteous morons. It seems the Ice Bucket Challenge... bugged them. They were annoyed. Well boo-effing -HOO. ALS is pretty effing annoying, too. 

There were more issues - backlash to Gluten--free diets - of which I must partake, being coeliac, and having a compromised immune system.. 

(WHY agin, do these people feel such a burning NEED to make up factoids about the - NON-EXISTANT -  detriment of anyone's gluten-free diet, whether by choice or necessity?!?)

Oh, dear GODS, I could go on and on... and yesterday I did, and it got me in fights with people I thought I knew better, and made me deeply sad and disappointed and feeling beaten to death. Little Mary Sunshine was DOWN. It took some work to extricate myself from some of those rows with people whom I love and respect, and explain and apologize out ways through it. 

Sometimes the internet is ridiculous and ugly. 

So - I was distracted, and that, TOO pissed me off - are you sensing a trend? I'm easily miffed this week - and i wasn't able to give my First Hip Anniversary its due celebration. joy, and respect. 

Here's what I came up with for a Facebook status:

"I am celebrating the one-year anniversary of my first hip replacement today. It's been a rough couple of days, and I don't feel super celebratory..
But ya know what? Fuggit.
I have my life back, and Little Mary Sunshine here is glad of it.
It's been a 99% amazing year of good stuff...
So, dammit- Happy Hip-a-versary to me."

Like

There were over 150 congratulations, "likes" and lots of Hip puns - many cheers of "Hip, Hip, Hooray!". That went a long way toward bringing me out of the deepest part of my funk (which was pretty deep)... and it continues to improve. 

I hope to take a few moments tomorrow to write something with more of that happy, grateful tenor. 

But tonight, I am glad I can walk around with only occasional pain, and that, when I have sat too long (GREAT motivation to keep it moving - instant gratification!!) aand short-lived when I get up and stretch a few times. 

I truly feel 40 years younger than I did before surgery, and I look it, too! From 55-going on 80 to 56-going on 40, baby! ANd I intend to keep going. 

Never settle for "Well, I'm better than i was - that's good enough" if ypu are able to rev it up and go for it! I haven't missed a day of either walking, exercycle or both all week. weight is coming off slowly, but strength is increasing dramatically!!! 

OK - I'll leave it at that for now, and go to bed happy that I hve made it through a Year. This is HUGE. I did go for a drink with my home-care PT, Shauna - who after I was no longer her patient, became my friend! it was wonderful and affirming. And I drank a Moscow Mule to toast by! Fitting I think. for someone as stubborn and strong as I am! 

Hurrah!! it's only the beginning of the best!!! 

And I am deeply grateful to be back. 

8/16/2014 Dance Party of One; A Life in the Arts is Just More Interesting!

A good start to the weekend! 

I got in a good strong 35 minutes on the exercycle last night. Slept in this morning and had a good breakfast - puttered around the house a bit, shopped for groceries. 

I find myself with things on the calendar to do - not commitments, but possibilities - and often deciding to do none of them. 

I have friends who have told me how interesting my life is - and I sometimes think, "Really??" and then have a really fun and interesting adventure or evening... so - even a 'fun and interesting" life isn't always so every minute of the day! 

So I had decided against several possibilities today and we feeling like I was being a bit lazy (Though there is plenty to do around the house),,, 

and then I won tickets to the theatre! I saw a really top notch show with 4 fantastic actors in it. I am reminded that a life in the theatre IS indeed interesting - and full of love and dear people, as well. The show was provocative, and excellent. Theatre which makes you think nd feel - THAT'S the stuff!! 

It was a bit last minute, so no one could go with e, but there were friends there (as there always are, having been in theatre for 40 years here, and knowing a lot of folks :) I love a true community.) 

No bike tonight, as I was home fairly late, but i was in the kitchen putting away groceries and making a sandwich (I only had time for yoghurt nd a banana before I left for the theatre, and that was NOT enough!!). I was watchign SAturday Night Live from the kitchen, and Pharrell was the musical guest. He sang "Happy" - I know a lot of peopel are sick to death of it, but I realllly really enjoy that song! 

And there was a large group of great kinds onstage with him dancing - I I was moving a bit, and then I started watching them and dancing their steps along with them - and suddenly, it was a real one-woman Dance Party in my kitchen!!!! 

I was having SO much fun, smiling, laughing and really DOING those dance steps!! Here's my Facebook status shortly after: 

ke

"Pharrell dance party just happened in m' kitchen. I danced my BUTT OFF. Because, well, i AM. Happy.
DANCIN' in my kitchen. I can do that."

I have been ACHING to get into an adult beginning dance class, just musical theatre style, so I can get the movement, grace and rythm back into my bones!!! And the last times I have tried to dance much, I was still a little wobbly - careful and cautious. 

This time. I was *mindful* - and it was pretty simple steps - but I coudl do them ALL - with gusto! 

it felt a little like flying. My winds are repaired!!! HURRAH!!!! 

In three days, it will be the oneyear anniversary since my first surgery. My home care physical therapist, which whom I have since become friends, and her boyfriend and I are going to meet for Happy Hour and celebrate! :) 

And today, I had checked with a director with whom I had discussed a couple of possible roles this year... I can't say where or what, as the casting is not publicly announced yet, but another director was asking me to audition for another Christmas show... so I dropped hte first director  aline, asking him of he was still interested, and I wasn't rushing him, but had a possibility, though this one would take priority. 

I was in the grocery store when he replied, telling me yes on X & Y shows, and the new musical director would like to hear me sing, just to know for himself. I was OVER THE MOON! First, they are shows I really wanted to do, and second,He saw mw at my very worst before the hips went down in flames. The fact that he is completely trusting that it did in fact make everything all better (and THEN some, and I'm still improving!!), sight-unseen, makes me absolutely as happy as can be!! 

I know that sometimes people can get it in their heads, "Oh, that actor can't move well... she had a lot of trouble getting around last time we worked with her..." and get tuck there... it is so gratifying that he is as excited to work with me as I am with him and his theatre!! 

My Life. It IS fun and interesting, and I am not taking one minute of that for granted. 

If it sounds to some as though I am a braggert - I will simply say, I am grateful. 

And that being in the arts DOES make your life happier, more fun and interesting. It is also extremely hard work, and a very tight schedule and a lot to learn in a short amount of time, it kicks your butt and you lose so much sleep - and I woudln't trade a bit of it. 

8/13/2014 Antibiotics, Dental Appointments

Today I had a dental cleaning.
No big deal, I have no fear or hesitation with dentists, especially good ones, and I have a good one. His hygienist never causes me pain - I take pretty good care of my teeth, and have a genetic propensity not to have tartar build up on my teeth One of the few *good* genetic things my dad passed on, bless 'im). So no big deal.

I remembered to put my one-dose antibiotics in my purse  - after joint replacements, you need to take an antibiotic to avoid serious infection. This is not just a silly way to sell drugs - I have a friend who had a near-fatal spinal infection which has ruined her life permanently due to a dental infection. As much as I am cautious about over-taking antibiotics (See previous posts re: the Shin Divot ulceration debacle).
Therefore, I follow my surgeon's orders and always take the two-pill, one-dose  antibiotics before a dental appoint, even a cleaning.
It's on my charts at my dentists' office, and he asked me if I had taken it, which is a good thing!
Then he started to ask the usual, "Has anything changed " questions... I remembered to mention that I'd had an allergic reaction to Bactrim (I had to look it up in my online records as It just wasn't coming to my brain, but it was worth the time it took). He added that to my chart - sometimes dentists will prescribe an antibiotic for a tooth issue. Good to have it there.
I got a loose crown re-cemented, too - a good thing.
I'm glad he asked and I was feeling chatty. Usually I'd remember these things, but I wasn't thinking about them when I came in. 
Came home too hungry and tired for a walk, but I did do 35 minutes on the exer-cycle. A friend had just posted a calendar she is having to keep to make herself remember to do her physical therapy at least 6 days a week. Whatever it takes! I cheered her on and then got right up, stretched and did a few of my PT items, and got on that bike. I'm really working up a sweat on that thing, and when I walk, and that's a really good thing!
It has been so long since I could do anything physical at *all* which worked my body enough to break a sweat... I feel great when I get done, no matter how tired. And I know I'm building the rest of my life. When you put it in those terms, it is a pretty swell motivation!

8/10/2014 & 8/11/2014 One More Day in Tahoe , and Home Again, Home Again...

Another lovely day in the beautiful mountains.
A liesurely morning, another delicious group-prepared meal. Debbie made a gorgeous Frittata, bacon, and pancakes for the others. Instead of pancakes(gluten) I had leftover plum crumble from last night's dessert.
We lolled about on the patio enjoying the air and all of the delightful baby animals which seem to be residents of the area between the houses here - chipmonks, squirrels, and birds of all kinds. 
Keith had brought an envelope of our late friend Deborah's ashes(they are being spread all around the world by her loved ones and documented on a world map with photos and stories- an mazing memorial). We chose a lovely wee spot at the top of a slope just out back of the cabin on the edge of forest.  I took photos as Keith shook the ashes out and let them fall among the pine needles. Deborah would love it here. I know she would love this. Just for good measure, after everyone else went inside, I sang the ave Maria for her - it was one of her favorite songs I sang for her. 

After a while three of us took a stroll up the road and across to the actual lake. We figured, coming up to Tahoe, one might want to see the actual Lake! 
After a nice sit on some tree stumps watching the water and people go by, the sky had clouded up beautifully and the life guard had called everyone out of the water having seen lightning. There was a bit of upward and downward slope, but it was good exercise. Probably a total of 4-5 city blocks each direction.
We headed back, and just as we arrived,  thunder rolled, lightning flashed, and the sky opened up! Then, the hail started!
I LOVE a summer thunder storm! It hailed hard for half an hour and is still sticking on the ground a couple of hours later. Wonderful! It was so great having real weather, when it is always so warm/hot in the Sacramento Vally. Fresh, clean chilly air is a balm!

Now we are doing the "close the cabin" chores- washing all of the sheets and towels, cleaning the kitchen and 3 bathrooms. 
I'm feeling a bit stiff and sore- putting clean sheets on my bed and helping with another one kind of kicked my butt - I can do chores, but I need to pace them and ret in-between - still building the ol' stamina. 
A little bit of "over doing" is happening. But there you go.
Time to help with chores some more - rest is over.

**************
8/11
Chores were finally finished, we buttoned the place up: leaving slider screens open (in case of freezes, so getting in or out isn't blocked by a frozen screen door that has to be ruined to get it unstuck), re-setting the water heater to "vacation" mode, refilling the containers of Pine-sol outside each of the doors - who knew Pine-sol repelled bears!?, locking the garage.
The drive home was - erm - tired and a bit grumpy.
The driver was in a hurry to get home... The much-too-fast corners were painful on my hips, trying to balance and not get tossed around the van. Nothing to be done for it. 'Nuff sed, peace was restored by home. 

Fortunately, the housework (making beds, lots of stairs, countertops, etc.) and walked low hills which had me pretty sore by the night, once again proved to be beneficial, not detrimental, for me this morning (Monday) when I woke up to go to work. 
I was a bit peeved that after the earliest bedtime I've been in bed in years (11:30pm) and 8 hours of sleep, I did NOT feel rested this morning! 

Ah, well. A quiet evening home, dinner of good steamed vegetables and the last of the plum crumble... And I just got off the exercycle for a good strong half hour! 



One last sad note - brilliant comedian and actor Robin Williams passed today. I've ever seen such universal grief for a performer. A terrible, deeply sad loss. 

8/9/2014 Getting Away to Tahoe

I'm at Lake Tahoe ( about two hours from home ) for a little mini-vacation with four dear old friends, three from High School and College and the husband of one... It's a "cabin" - four bedrooms, two decks, three bathrooms, a fully- stocked kitchen, all wood, etc... A lovely place to relax among the incense cedars and pines, with stunning views and lovely mountain air.

We drove up last evening (Friday) and had a great day today. Drove up the road a bit to the bustling town, with a wooden boat show and museum, and an art festival. 
I am not buying things these days, but it was a lovely warm day, and we wandered among the art and craft booths ogling pretty things, and looked at the boats and enjoyed the history of the Lake and the Ghost Boats...
And I was aware the whole time that I was not concerned with how long or far we were going to walk. 
The friends whose family's cabin it is is Debbie, who also had a hip replacement recently and is recovering beautifully. But she also has fibromyalgia and it was interesting after all this time to be the one who was checking on someone else to see if they needed to rest, etc. and not on the receiving end of that need!
She did great! 
I was really just enjoying a stroll and not being sore or too tired. 
We enjoyed ourselves, and then went to Safeway in town for a few provisions. That's when I was reminded that I still can feel the after-effects of a long-ish stroll.
Not too bad, but I was done before the others, and I was really ready to sit in the van, feeling a touch wobbly.
We came back to the house - er, cabin, whipped up a great meal with two appetizers, grilled chicken and veg and a plum crumble for dessert. Everything was wonderful. 
Then we sat around the table and played Cards Against Humanity. A wicked raunchy, hilarious game, and we laughed often and long. That kind of laughter is good for the soul. 
Three of us went to bed, and Deb and I, the late birds, stayed up and gabbed and yakked, as we did in our college roomie days. 

I'm bedding down now, and I can feel the after effects of a long stroll, standing cooking in the kitchen and sitting in wooden dining chairs for a while... A bit stiff and a little sore, but not bad. I got a good walk in today, and it was a fine thing. 
Tomorrow is house keeping day, laundering all the sheets and towels, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming all the rooms and leaving it as we found it. We'll make our meals and clean them as we go....
It is interesting not to be the least mobile and able person in any group. We're all within two or three years of each other in age here, and there are creaks among us all. So, we'll all do our share and get it all back in ship shape, and be on our way back down the hill. It's been a lovely time among the mountains by the big lake, and I'm glad we came. 
It'll be nice to be home, too. 

8/6/2014 A Busy Several Days, Unseasonably Beautiful Weather, Lots of Things Afoot

This weekend I went to the Sacramento Shakespeare Festival / "Shakespeare in the Park" - twice!  - to see both Much Ado About Nothing and The Three Musketeers. It was delightful - the shows were both great fun and and very good, and the weather has taken a very strange turn to - cool. Overcast nad a bit humod. 

Typical Sacramento summer/August weather being HOT and DRY. 100+ Degrees and bone-dry. AND we're in the wrst drought in recored history. Not so good. It had been like that all week - and then this lovely freak turn. It was absolutely heavenly-perfect Sunday night! The show started at 6 on Sundays, so it was pretty light most of the way through - and the sun set in the most stunning way over the stage... really quite a glorious closing night! 

I was so comfortable parking wherever I needed to (However I do have the most astonishing parking luck - always! I enjoy that!) 

the amphitheater is very old and has stone paths and stairs, but It was just no worry at all! Completely steady and stable. 

It was spectacular seeing so many friends - many who haven't seen me "since" - and even the actors with whom I was in Canner Row after surgery were just tickled to pieces - "NO CANE!!! NO LIMP!!! YAY!" 

:} such sweet people. 

Yesterday was exciting - my good friend is a truly great poet and Portuguese. Our excellent Sacramento Poetry Center held their second annual Portuguese night with a group called California Navigations - Californians of Portuguese/Azorean descent, with some Brazilian poetry and some prose in the mix as well. My friend was one of the five featured poets/writers. California is a very largely Portuguese-populated state, though they don't kind of make a big public thing about it - no one who isn't Portuguese really knows about it! 

My friend came early and I made us a nice little dinner of sir-fried Farmer's Market vegetables and rice noodles with a little kiss of spice. 

 It was completely wonderful. They were all great. But my friend is a terrific singer, actor, dancer and director, too - so when he reads his poetry, it REALLY grabs you and holds you. great writing interpreted beautifully. 

A nosh with friends afterward - it couldn't have been better. 

Yesterday was the only day I missed half an hour on the 'bike, because I wasn't home, but I was fine (Except for the wonderful lte late night made for a very tired morning... I didn't mind - it was completely worth it, and it didn't kick my butt so hard - 

Normal - Good Normal - is still flowing back, and becoming even better than Previous Normal!! 

I got home from work today and the truly beautiful and PERFECTLY soft, cool weath coudl not have been more perfect - I chengd, but on my shoes, and even though the heat has kept me from walking for most of the week, I got out there and Bested my previous! 

8 and a half blocks!! I was fairly tired when I got home, but it wasn't bad. 

I'm off to cobble together pre-grocery-trip dinner and perhaps do a bit of time on the 'bike. nd maybe watch episode of Sherlock :) 

It's early enough in the evening I should be able to wind down after it - it is a REALLY EXCITING episode!! 

**********************************************

HA! Did it! Watched Sherlock AND got in 30 minutes on the 'cycle!!! I love it so much when I gat BOTH a good walk and a cycle in one day! :) 

I just sort of committed to reading for a play that I may well get a role in... it runs in October and November... I guess my Summer Off may be about to come to an end. But the two possible roles I might be workable for are not a super-big load, so my hope is that there would be a lighter rehearsal load for me. We'll see, if they decide to use me. SOmetimes when you have been playing larger roles for a lng time, a director might feel like they don't want to cast you in a "lesser" role... it can be thought of a bit like looking for a job and being rejected because you are over-qualified. 

But the director is a good friend, and knows I am interested. I'd love to work with him and the Stage Manager again. Both great friends. 

Getting  little prep done for the tahoe trip with friends this weekend. 

and now - to bed, by 1AM! 

8/1/2014 More Break Throughs!

HA! Ok - more about progress!
this is exciting!

I haven't had a ton of forward progress in a while, and I was still having chronic low pain in my right knee and left hip.

It was confounding me, because I was still exercising, stretching, walking, biking etc...


I talked to my hip surgeon at my last 3-month check, and asked him about the pain in my hip, and what was the likelihood that I'll be TOTALLY pain-free?
Mind you, I am OK if I were to live forever at this level. Compared to the pain levels of the damaged, pre-surgery hips, this is NOTHING. I'd say a 2 on the pain scale. And I understand - as bodies wear, there is a bit of pain sometimes. But I don't want to settle. I want to get myself to BETTER than before - largely because my body has never been able to function fully around the hip dysplasia I was born with  - and nobody knew. it only became painful in the last 8or so years. I just thought it was my level of fitness - not very, but sort of average -ish, short,  round body. Strong in many ways, less-so in others.

My surgeon said, "Well you're coming up on a year, which tends to be a big milestone. Your implants have really taken hold and are rock-solid [this was a concern, which the amount of sculpting needed for my hip sockets and there being very small spaces that needed to fill in with bone - and did!], so we'll have a look in three more months and see where we are."

But - I have taken inspiration from a dear friend. He is NOT interested in Settling for "You're doing pretty well for... fill in the blank. For whatever..
I don't want to just settle for "You're doing pretty well for having had hip replacements!!"
I want to be GREAT!!

I just had a pretty big break through and figured it out!!

Read yesterday's post re: the anterior muscles in my thighs...
I have figured out that I need to do some different angles, and re-invigorate my strengthening  - including the elastic around my ankle, pulling outward... toe rises... and more of them.. really focusing on that right knee and the left hi. Stretching, strengthening, adding a bit of Traumeel gel here and there.

And the exciting thing is - today I realized, walking across the floor at work, that my knee did not hurt.
It kind of always hurt a little... the cartilage is fine, but it has been a little jacked up from holding up my whole frame... and it just did not hurt!!!!

And the hip was MILDly achy - I had to look for it... very much improved - and this is progress forward for the first time in several months!! I think Dr. Smith is going to be really happy and excited for me when I see him September 8th for my next check-in!! I was just a little bit disappointed that the year was approaching, and I was at this plateau, and now, BOOM!! :)

Never give up!! And make sure you stay at it and keep checking in as you progress!!
I WAS, even.. but then when I really sat down and looked hard in detail, I found my stoppage and it changed so quickly!

Life is very good, and it just keeps getting better.