4/28/2014 Doctors and Bandages and X-rays - Oh, My!

I got a reply from my Dr.'s office today and they scheduled me right in for this afternoon to look at the shin.
I have discovered of this whole hip surgery experience that people flock like mad to get all thier surgeries, appointments, etc. in at the end of the year before their maximum out-of-pocket expires at the end of the year.

So, it seems, the earlier part of the year, not so much.
Dr. Norene's office was practically deserted at 4:30 - one woman inside and me in the waiting room. He gave me a lot of his time and even shared a few theatre stories with me. He loves musical theatre (one of the great things that I knew meant he was the best doctor for me - he gets my people!!) and has a lot of friends in NYC, so there are always fun stories to share.
I even gave him one of our cards for a Ne Brain (with a "no pressure, but I think you would be pleased" clause ).
He had a look at my shin-divot. Not infected - HURRAH! It is ulcerated, which means it just isn't healing. and it's gotten pretty deep. Just to be sure there is nothing left in the wound from the initial injury, he sent me to xray.
It was deserted there, too! The staff were enjoying a lull in the afternoon. Usually it's vevry busy in there! I got a look at my x-rays(I always ask for a printout and a cd with the electronic image. It's interesting, plus, it's good to have it available if needed with another medical professional, like a chiropractor, etc.) plus, I might make art with them some time. :)
With my novice's eyes, it sure looks clear. My tibia and fibula are lovely and smooth! But doesn't look like there are any little foreign flecks in there.

So - tomorrow off to the wound care specialist, where she will probably put a pressure bandage on it. I hope it is not a wrapped issue, but something like the mega-bandaid they put on over my surgical wounds. He said it should stay on for 7-10 days. I really hope it's not an "Avoid getting it wet in the shower" type bandage. I also have a small concern about it being visible in Act II when I am wearing a cocktail dress for the big ballad, but I can always wear black stockings. (I hate stockings, and it's a quick change into and out of the dress, but there it is.) Not about vanity, but about what looks right onstage. It's dimly lit with a spot light on me, so it might even be in the dark.

I also have the photo shoot Thursday, but that's OK. It's all part of the package and won't really interfere with the shoot and its purposes.

I am tired, though I came home from the Dr. and took an astonishing two hour nap! No surprise, as the stabbing throb in the shin kept me away for several hours last night.

So I'm off to give it another go.

4/27/2014 Ending a Good Weekend, Heading Into the New Week

A good day! 

Slept late, stuck around the house most of the day. After dinner, off to the theatre to complete this very long week ("tech week" of a show, especially a musical, into and through opening weekend, is exhausting).

All of my really tricky material is finally clicking with the orchestra, I am no longer so anxious about the streams and streams of tricky lyrics - they are "in my bones". I bumbled one word tonight, and that's not bad by percentages! This feels great! I always run through my material every day between weekends of as show's run - never let it get away from you, I feel... though I do occasionally take the Monday after opening off from it. We'll see. 

Not a full house tonight, but about 2/3 full, and they were responsive and enthusiastic. We are being very well received, and it feels great!! 

The exciting thing here - when friends come to see the show and they have not seen me since before surgery, and some of them never knew me before I began to be in pain and limp progressively worse starting 7 or 8 years ago, now - their response is so genuinely joyous and supportive! 

This is aside from their response to the performances, which is very positive... it's not just a way for them to find something nice to say! 

They are really overjoyed and celebratory for and with me. They are truly tickled to see me  smoothly glide across the stage, upright and sailing like a schooner! 

They remark about seeing me move around so easily and go up and downstairs - and they are particularly tickled about the turn at the end for the curtain call. Me, too! 

I'm glad I thought of that turn- it's my own little celebration of "feeling so much spring within me" (An important lyric from the closing number).

And the nice thing about early Sunday curtaintime - I was home by 9:20! 

A little time to wind down. 

Back to work in the morning, and three straight nights of uncommitted evenings! One of the nice things about opening a show which just plays on weekends. (I have a photo shoot on Thursday evening.) 

I am hoping to get in some real walks this week! Lovely weather and a lovely neighborhood, and plenty of light, still when I get home from work. 

Also - I sent  a note to my Primary Care Physician - the Shin Divot not healing, and now being more painful, is of concern. I want him to take another closer look at it, after this six or so weeks since it happened and I went to him. 

I do NOT need any kind of slow-healing shenanigans wanting to behave like an infection at this time, THANK YOU. 

4/26/2014 Lots of Theatre and Singing

After last night's successful opening of A New Brain and a little revelry afterward, I slept in pretty well. I skipped my PT both at bedtime and in the morning. I don't plan to get into the practice of skipping it - it is helping under any circumstances, and being as healthy as possible is the goal, after all... 

So - a bit stiff when I got up and about. After a late breakfast, of to a rehearsal for the Cannery Row music, which we will be recording for the college's sound engineering class. It will be fun to have a recording of it for posterity, and as a sweet reminder of the experience of that lovely show. 

Another little souvenir is the shin-divot, and it heals slowly, but I think it heals. It doesn't grow worse, so there is that!! 

Off to shower, make some dinner and get back on the boards again tonight! RUmor has it that we have a good full house both tonight and tomorrow night, and that will be delightful. The energy makes all the difference. 

These tricky songs are beginning to be "in my bones" finally - running through them every day, they flow much more smoothly. This makes life so much nicer and less stressful! We don't do theatre for the stress, after all, but for the joy of the giving of the gift. 

****************************

Post-show - it went pretty well, a few bumbles here and there. a pretty good one from me, but it's a quick bit of music wherein my character is upset, so I turned the incorrect key I started in into - screaming the lyrics. It.. kind of - worked, -Ish. Thank god it was quick. The rest went pretty well, though my voice was very tired after tech week, staying out late, and rehearsing today for Cannery Row, and with the theatre being very dusty tonight. It happens. 

I have to say, this cast is a group of really swell people. 

Came home from the theatre tonight... a little winding down, and i hope for a good night's sleep. 

4/25/2014 Opening Night of a New Brain - My First Full Role Since...

Today a serendipitous internet outage at work let me go hom a few hours early. 

I prefer to take a vacation day on opening night, but my vacation and sick time are a bit sparse these days. So it was a nice surprise to get to come home, chill, take a solid nap with a hard, lovely rain falling on the roof. I got up and made a nice dinner of a lamb chop and Swiss Chard.

Checking in, two friends, a couple who are wonderful women and very well loved, have been dealing with brain cancer and breast cancer - and after nong struggles and multiple surgeries between them, they just announced that they are both cancer FREE! I told them I was doing the happiest dance of all! ANd so - then I did. I twirled and danced and whirled down my hallway laughing like a loon and making up the silliest happy little song as I went! 

I DANCED! Both feet off the ground, not just shakin' my bootie! YAY!!! 

It's about a month until my Dance Party - so looks like we;re right on track! :D

I was able to be at the theatre early with the others (My commute would have kept me later, normally). 

We worked Owen into the show (He has been on a Caribbean cruise for 9 days) and then we were off! 

The show went absolutely great. Full sold-out house, standing ovation. very responsive audience - a great way to start a run!  I feel very, very good abut house my songs went. two substituted words in two places in the show (and both made sense) and I believe I added two measures someplace in th really tough one, "Throw it Out" - but the band absolutely stayed with me - they are great! 

At the end of the show, ( I asked the director if this was OK) I asked Nephi, the actor I walk into curtain call with, to spin me when we turn to take out bows. It felt *WONDERFUL!* :) JUST BECAUSE I CAN!!! 

I am a bit tired (Kind of hit the wall after the show) but very. very happy. 

Knock wood - but - when one nails it like this, it usually means (at least for me) that the rest of the run should be pretty solid. It's not a show in which one can drop focus for a minute... I am never off the stage for more than about five or ten minutes at a time, and usually more like two or three. 

And, as it is almost 3am (One most gather with the cast for a celebratory Scotch, and candied bacon hot from the oven mustn't one??), I will turn in. 

Happy run to us all! 

4/24/2014 FInal Dress Rehearsal. Newsflash: I Can Do Stuff.

Good final dress rehearsal tonight (Wow - it doesn't feel like it was... !) 

We open tomorrow night! My toughest little section of my trickiest two songs gve me a moment, but it was just a quick fumble and MOVIN on - You always finish big, no matter what! :) 

My ballad, the "Eleven O'clock number" (In theatre lingo, traditionally the Big Number of the show always occurred right about 11:00 pm, just before the culmination of the story and the denouement... now it's still the term, even if the show is short, as ours is - less than two hours) went very, very well. Once it's done, I can kind of relax (Of course I was late for an entrance, as was another actor in the scene, after that, but that won't happen again.) 

Anyway - the miracles happened tonight.. and we will plug back in one of the other actors who has been on a cruise for 9 days tomorrow night before the house opens at 7:30, so, room for a few more miracles... 

The is SHOWtime, kids! 

I have to say how wonderful it is to be in a scene, walk, stand, etc, and not feel afraid that I don't sit soon. I had a *little* bit of stiffness tonight. No big deal! 

And walking out for curtain call with another actor, I even did a little spin as we turned to bow. I may even ask him to turn me :) It would be fun to have people who have seen me limping about the stage for several years and know about my hip replacements to see that. Just a little personal - maybe vanity? Victory, certainly! 

I walked up the stairs at home tonight withouth a lot of support from the rails. I love that. 

And there is even one place where I climb two stairs onto a platform in the show where I have gained the strength and balance not to be too afraid or instability. 

Maybe not *quite* strong enough to reciprocate up them yet - but maybe by closing. There is supposed to be a rail added, and I've been promised, but I can probably live without it - when I get to the second step, I can reach the edge of the piano for balance. 

Anyhow - it's good. Other than those few little phrases that give me gas, I'm begining to reach my confidence - for god's sake - I am an ACTOR. I have been doing this for - I was astonished to recently calculate - FORTY-ONE YEARS. (Whaaaaaat?!) . 

There is a reason get get cast - I have experience and skills. 

So - it's ridiculous to let myself NOT reach my confidence. I hate doing it so last-minute - but there it is. I feel good about tomorrow night, and I look forward to the run.

I may be one of the senior two members of the cast, but I'm feeling like one of the kids. I love it, and I really love this little group. 

"It's the Day of the Show, Y'all!!"

- Waiting for Guffman

4/21/2014 PT... Some Interesting Alternative Ideas, Rehearsal, and What's Next?

I had PT today - it was good - Anne is great. She understands when I say I feel a bit like I'm at a standstill, but she can see the differences and points them out - my progress is still happening, just slower now - it makes sense. I just look forward to entire painless days and feeling lee like I need to be super careful... I will always strive to be mindfl and aware of my body mechanics, now - it is a really optimal way to live your life - it cannot help but promote health. We did a lot of balance things, and I m holding my balance better and better! Ended with ice on my lower back to help with my tight calves, and ultrasound on my right knee. 

Today I was talking to my friend about the pesky little divot in my shin, which just seems to stay and stay. He often talks about embracing and welcoming such things to your system. I know this is totally counter-intuitive... "What?!?? It's an injury! I don't want to welcome THAT!" 

But I understand. It's just hard to keep it in mind, it is so contrary to the mindset that injury is the enemy. It's not that you are liking being injured - you are sending love to every place in your system. Again - it cannot help but get it healing. 

I also looked at western medicine a bit - "Slow healing wounds" - it wasn't any of the "co-moridity" it talked about in many of the articles, such as Diabetes, Arthritis, etc. 

I read the explanation of the process of healing - there is a phase where the wound begins to generate collagen - this is the beginning of the edges of the wound connecting and closing up. It turns out that I was srcubbing and rinsing it out too aggressively, thinking that the white soft tissue was possibly the beginning of infection. 

Also- it said not to use antibiotic cream - it keeps it from healing. It is not infected - no symptoms of that. Put a dressing on it and let it heal. 

And so - I did. I flowed some affection to the little area and stopped meddling with it and let it do it's thing! It should be all better in no time!

Rehearsal tonight was pretty hard work, but it is beginning to get a flow. We had body mics for the first time - I am not fond of them, but I am very happy with this sound engineer! He makes it painless and easy. No feedback, quality equipment, and he's very good with mics on and off. 

It is less ready than many of us are used to, four days before opening, but with some focused work before our dress run-through, we should get some polishing done. Working out the traffic patterns back stage and such, and we should be there JUST on time. It's a bit exhausting and worrisome doing this when you are not rehearsed to 

good confidence... I had a few small lyric glitches (A big improvement, the lyrics being very very ricky in this show), and then a good-sized train wreck or three on the biggest one... that's the first thing we're working tomorrow. It should get me that last boost to feel better about this piece. It's as tough a piece for the band as it is for me. So there's that! 

I was asked by my dear friend to play a really sweet role later this summer. The theatre company is absolutely one of my theatre homes in a  beautiful outdoor amphitheater int eh SIerra Foothills Gold country, with people I love, but I have to REALLY weight it. I am not sure of a month off after A New Brain is enough. It is quite a weekly commute - and I don't have much vacation time for the 3-5or so days I'd need to take off. It's hot, hard work, iI love it so, but - not sure about it being to much too soon. A hard choice! Stay tuned! 

OK - that's my life today! Busy, pretty great, and a little nervous. 

4/23/2014 Busy-ness, Getting the Show Open, and Apparently - I Can Rush!

Sorry - late evenings in tech rehearsals have kept me away... We open in two days. 

The show is taking shape - miracles happen in every night's rehearsals. 

Mine was getting through my trickiest song word-perfect (knock wood) ... next, getting through the OTHER TWO tricky songs the same! ui!!! 

For the most part, I am really getting around well, and pain is fairly minimal. I was actually told in rehearsal notes that I could come in more slowly for one entrance, because it looks like I'm rushing.

*I'M RUSHING!* Hee! 

Minimal pain. 

I tried Ibuprofen just for rehearsals - but I'm getting what may be those ibuprofen-induced hives again. So back to Tylenpl when I need it. It does the trick most of the time these days,

The Shin-divot is being stubborn, but I think I'm doing it right now. Oddly there are a few of those blisters around it which seem to be the ibuprofen hives... I really hope that's all they are. :P 

I wear a dress at one point, and it's a PITA having to put a bandage and makeup over it to cover it. But, hey - I can stand and move and NOT limp  all the way through entire songs. 

I like that. :) 

I'm tired - but more comfortable with and confidant in the show each night. And it's not just me - it's tough material and we're all tired and under-rehearsed, but catching up. 

I have confidence as an experienced actor and singer, but time off and tricky material - they are enough to daunt any performer! 

9/20/2014 Easter / Spring Celebration

4/20/2014

A lovely Easter day. 

A group of friends celebrates the same way every Easter morning, around 10 am. we all gather at Marilyn's lovely home in East Sacramento. Each has a dish to share - some of us bring the same thing every year, or a variation thereom. I make deviled eggs - the seem to be popular, and I like them! it's always a delicious spread. We show up for coffee, the switch to mimosas and head out on our walk: 

The night before, Marilyn walks around the neighborhood with little clues and tapes them around the area - each clue leads to the next (This year's were in haiku form) and the always lead back to her house, where we find the "prize." a bag of construction paper costumes, always bunnies, themed to something in the previous year's news. This year was Edward Snowden bunnies. Ears with russian hat flaps attached to the band, a pair of black paper horn rimmed glasses and a flier entitled "The NSA and You" we pass around the pieces and scotch tape, don them and take group photos. It's very fun and funny. 

Then we put the costumes in the recycle and go in to eat the delicious food! 

My dear late friend Deb is the one who invited my to join this lovely group of her friends, in 1993. in those 21 years, I have never wanted for a place to celebrate the holiday ( i am not religious, but love to celebrate the spring with friends and this is perfect!) 

This year Deb's kids and husband were there, and the rest of the usual Suspects. It fluctuates year to year, and we have lost a few over time to death or divorce. 

We started the stroll with Marilyn lifting a toast to Deb. She would have appreciated that. She missed last year, as she was already sick (as did I for painful hips) and the year before, I stayed at the house with her while the others strolled and her husband took photos. And this year we all walked for her, I suppose. 

I brought my cane, just because I do wen I walk any distance - but I really didn't need it. It has become more annoying then helpful - a good sign! I loved the walk. The only time I had a small twinge was when Marilyn had popped back to the house for a few minutes and we couldn't find the clue... standing still-ish for too long made me a bit antsy. But she arrived, we found the clue and moved along and all was well. a great walk. There were many kind remarks as to how well I am moving now, and lots of congratulatory hugs. :) 

Went for a late lunch with my friend Mariam - Hot Italian. They have quite tasty Gluten-Free Pizza.. however, it is $4.50 more and about 30% smaller than the non- GF version. That is extremely excessive, when the original is already $12 - $16 dollars for a personal sized pizza. between the pizza, the soft drink tip and tax, I spend $30 - on a pizza. Tasty, but - I probably won't do it a lot. It did have enough left over for a bit of dinner, so that was nice. 

We roll into Tech Week for A New Brain tomorrow - four more rehearsals and we're up. A lot to do in a short time. There's a reason itis also referred to in som circles as "Hell Week" as well. I look forward to it being the end of NEXT week, and opening behind us. 

I hope you had a lovely Easter, or whatever you celebrate - or, Sunday! 

4/19/2014 Poetry, Friendly Encounters and Remembrance

A good day! 

I slept in, got up feeling pretty good! 

Got out of the house to see a wonderful poetry reading of Evan Myquest's poems - wonderful poet, read by three also- wonderful poets!  the other featured poet and the open mics were great. i am always so happy to see the work of the poets brought in to the Poetry enter. Always great to see my friends in the poetry community, too. I didn't bring anything to read at Open Mic today - just too deep into getting solid on the material for A New Brain right now. I kind iof feel the next couple of poems in my Hips series coming into shape, so I hope I'll have some more material to read at the next one. 

Talking about having my first feature sometime this summer, too! I look forward to it - very exciting! 

Many people remarked on my mobility - last time most of them saw me, I was on a walker. It was nice to be off-cane and getting about comfortably!

After the reading, I went over the the Gluten Free bakery, Pushkin's for a lovely treat. They have a Chocolate Banana Peanut Butter cupcake. I sat at their newly-built lovely patio table and really enjoyed that cupcake in the lovely afternoon! the perfect thing is, in  the afternoon, the tables are in the leeward side of the building from the sun, so they re shaded - perfect for our hot Sacramento summers! I look forward to strolling the 3 blocks from my place , stopping next door at Temple coffee for a to-go and enjoying my treat on the sidewalk and relaxing, watching the world go by for a bit!

Speaking Temple, that was my next stop. a nice coffee, bought a bag of beans, sat on the patio. It really WAS a lovely day! Suddenly it became, "Everyone Martha knows comes for a coffee" day! My lovely friend Sarah works there, then one of the poets from the reading was there with her partner, and right next to her was a young fellow whom I'd met through my friend Craig who lives and teaches here in Sacramento, but who also knows my friend Jt from a completely different circle! 

Then in strolled my dear friend Ric Murphy - a respected and wonderful actor and director! We had a quick 5-minutes chat - he was thrilled for me and my new hips, too! We have acted together a time or two, and he was familiar with my old rolling (trying to hide the painful limp) gait. 

Then off to the Safeway for groceries - quite a comfortable and extensive shopping trip, and I didn't hesitate to cross the store to get an item I'd missed on my first sweep through. And - ran into my friend Samia! More hugs and smiles - it was just a wonderful day for that! So cheerful! 

Then I accidentally discovered that I have BBC America on my cable plan suddenly - and that was my night in(I'd wanted to go to another reading in Davis, but not quite up to it). 

And I'm up far too late once again... off to bed! And early-ish morning for our annual Easter gathering - really just for a Spring gathering with a lovely group of people. I met them all through my dear Deborah. Yesterday was her birthday - the first since she died - and tomorrow will be the first Easter gathering since she died. Last year she was unable to go, already on hospice care at home and bed-ridden, and the year before, she came with her husband Sam, but she and I stayed at the house while the rest made the annual "scavenger hunt" stroll around the hostesses' beautiful neighborhood. Sam took photos all along the way so Deb could enjoy it, too. 

You know, Deb had three brain surgeries and two major radiations over twenty years before her tumors finally turned cancerous, fast-growing and untreatable. She also broke both hips - the first needed pins and the second, she snapped the head off her femur in a fall, so total replacement. The brain cancer drugs make one's bones brittle. Also, her gall bladder was removed about two years ago, too. 

She was afraid of brain surgery, because it was terribly painful, so intrusive on your BRAIN and every function and thought process you have, and she never knew how it was going to come out - she had to learn how to walk again all three times, and talking was a challenge... so much pain and headache and just feeling so foggy and stupid. 

Her hips and gall bladder were surgeries, but not as terrible in comparison, I think(though the second hip was very very badly handled by Kaiser). 

But it was still terrifying when I went in for my first hip. Fortunately, the anterior version made such a difference, and getting up and walking (with the walker) is a must. So, in the long run, even though it is taking me longer than standard to recover (due to my extreme case), and this damned divot in my shin from that blast fall just has one little deep spot that doesn't want to heal, I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. 

Sorry - my sleepiness sometimes renders the end of these posts a little surreal and slightly wonky :} 

Good night and Happy Easter-or-whatever-you-celebrate-tomorrow. 

4/18/2014 Strange Day - Downs and Ups and - Sidewayses?

Strange day today. 

Today is the first of my dear friend Deborah's birthdays since she died last October.  The first year of Firsts after a death is the hardest. I miss her terribly. 

Yesterday a well-known and loved member of our theatre community committed suicide. 

A large and loving community is sad, angry (a normal, common reaction to suicide), and confused. 

I've felt very low- pain most of the day... gotten round well... but this weird flu-cold thing is morhping into something weird that involves post-nasal drip and congestion - still rendering my voice nearly useless... with a week to opening night, and only four rehearsals left. Hoo boy this show is gonna need some miracles to be ready. It happens, and we have a really strong cast, but boy, howdy. My intention is to work and work and work to really get solid on the pieces I am not feeling secure on this weekend - three dys with no rehearsals (Tonight being the first), and I have a couple of poetry readings I'd like to attend tomorrow, and then I'm having lunch with my friend Mariam (she has been out of town a lot with work) after my friend's annual Spring/Easter morning celebration. 

But mostly, my VOICE, and my energy, I NEED THEM. 

Of course I stayed up inordinately late in a wonderful telephone converstion last night - but that feeds the soul. 

So wish me luck with my scratchy, squeaky-skwawky voice and  the challenging songs that always feel too fast - SO MANY WORDS... I'm a little nervous. By second weekend it should all be in the past, this stress. 

I'm going to take the summer off stage. I'm NOT LEAVING it - that would defeat some of the purpose of my surgery and life reclaiming - theatre is my life - but, I have poetry and music projects I'll be happy to work on, and they are less stressful, and will give me more time to get used to my new gear and walking and getting stronger - lots of walking!!! and maybe if i can swing it, swimming. 

I'm working hard to stretch, lift, move flex, etc., pretty much ALL the time. Getting strength is tipping over into the land of Building Stamina, now. walking for as long as I like without fatigue or pain... dancing ... that dance party is in a little over a month! 

I'm excited about that! 

Then, fall or winter time, I'm getting back to the boards. 

Oh! In rehearsal last night - working on my toughest song with the band, getting frustrated - I'm leaning on the piano, and I get REALLY frustrated when I garbled the damn lyrics AGAIN - and apparently, I jumped up and down without realizing it. :} 

Probably shouldn't be doing that - impact, you know - but it was kind of fun when the director, with a cute little smile, walked me to the door and said - "Did I just see you do a little jump?" and I realized: yes, indeed, he did!! He totally got that it was another one of those "firsts", and they happen occasionally now when I don't realize it! :) So - I jump, apparently! 

That was kind of fun! 

4/17/2014 - TMI - Yer Bum

OK , today - a little clinical talk, sort of TMI - but I know SO many people who have dealt with hemorrhoids  - they suffer in silence, because you just don't TALK about that! 

I mentioned it once right after surgery and you'd be srprised how mny peopel have advice and empathy- who knew? 

OK - I have a Good bit of advice!! This has plagued me since the first surgery - NINE MONTHS ago this Sunday! They just never completely heal, and then the raging itch and screaming burn keep me awake - it just irritates over and over... I've tried Prep H and Butt Paste - they helped pretty well early on - but you want to watch the OTC some times - they can just stop working.

 I did some serious research on natural stuff. And a stop at the Natural Foods Co-op found me something that is, so far, the most effective yet - I sleep. I don't itch and burn. And if it starts to, I just apply a little more. 

Calendula Gel. It is wonderful. Get some. Apply it whenever you need it. It helps and cools - REALLY! Other products that claim relief either DON'T, or they sting! It's a bit like hell. 

I also got a homeopathic Hemorrhoid tablet which I'm taking as well. 

What I do know that my poor bum is finally the closest to normal it's been in all that long time, after only two days using them. 

4/16/2014 A New Day - Better is Good!

"I'm bringing you a new day, yes, today will be a new day..."
A lyric from one of my tricksy songs in A New Brain... and it applies well to today.

I woke up much easier,
Perhaps because, in spite of the fact that I was NOT feeling like festooning myself in ice last night before bed ("It's COLD! I'm TIRED! I'm  feeling too lazy to walk the 15 steps to the freezer and get the ice packs out..." ), I Iced anyway. (AND remembered to put the ice packs back in the freezer for tonight). Adding a pack to my lower back ( As well as my inner hip joints, moving to the outer, and my right knee) is making a difference, too.
Some days (Like yesterday) I think, "I was just walking smoothly and painlessly X days ago!! This can't be right!!!"
But then, I just now walked to and from the restroom - when I got up from my chair to walk there, I was a little tight, so I stretched my knees and hips and calves for a minute, and headed over. After just a few steps I was doing well, and the whole walk back (this is about 100 feet or so, roughly) it was totally smooth, knees close together, no pain at all. I savor and relish and hold on to these daysd, knowing that at some point, that will be the majority of the time.

My PT Anne has been really helping me focus on what could be the root of things like my calves knotting up on my if I sit for any length of time (my ever-cranky right knee - which is physically not damaged - too... it just aches a lot, residual from the whole hip-crumbling experience). And she is thinking that it's core strength and my lower back, since those muscles/nerves/tendons have never (pre-sugery) been able to flatten and stretch to the straight posture I work for now. It makes sense... and very clearly, icing my lower back gives me a lot of relief.

Maybe it's better because I got about an hour more of sleep... perhaps because I really poured on the Physical therapy (incorporation the new ab/make the ore stronger/take the swelling out of the lower back" exercises) last night and this morning. Probably a combination of the three, adding the new contact lens from my eye doctor - it makes it much easier to see my computer, hence, I don't feel frustrated trying to do my job!

It makes a huge difference when I just generally feel better. It reminds me that I am getting better. Slower than I expected... but I AM!
And sometimes I just feel sore. And the hope and great probability is that it is NOT any damage to my lovely shiny internal appliances are very real.

I just ran into a colleague at the coffee machine... she had a hip replacement just about two months before mine, and she was a great influence and a wonderful reference - she calmed my initial fears markedly. We were comparing notes a bit, and she was saying that she, too till have the occasional pains. She has had no physical therapy - I wouldn't have tried it without, but she doesn't feel the need.
I am grateful that, in my more extreme situation (two total hip replacements correcting my hip dysplasia involving some pretty extreme bone sculpting and five screws more than the usual NO screws used)

***********

Ended the day on a bit of a low dip - just a rough rehearsal, and a bit of stress, and I think a little of it might be a slight bit of "Getting back on the horse" anxiety... even though I've been doing theatre almost non-stop for 40 years. 
But after talking to a friend, I shook most of that off. 
Now I think I'll go have a rare before-bed treat. :) That'll polish up the SIlver Lining a tad! 

4/15/2014 The Silver Lining is a Little Tarnished Tonight.

I'm very tired and sore tonight.

We're at a phase in rehearsal where a production feels under-rehearsed. Sometimes it actually is, sometimes it just feels like it. This show is 95% music, and it's complicated music. We were still blocking a scene tonight (setting the movement of the actors is called "blocking" for non- theatre readers). Usually this is done before now.
It will all come out well, it's a cast of people with a lot of integrity. The parts are coming together.

One of my songs has complicated lyrics that seem to be winning. I will conquer it soon.

I am bloody tired, and my hips hurt. Maybe about -  a 4 out of 10. Which is OK - but it's tiring on top of tired. It is taking longer due to my extreme case. But I am really ready to be able to do things and not suffer consequences of pain, when then becomes worry. (Why are they hurting THERE?? Hmmm...)
We have a three day break this weekend... that's scary the weekend before opening night, but there it is, and my body and voice will get a rest.

I probably DID accept this role too soon... but nothing catastrophic, and I couldn't have known.
And it is GREAT and very important to be back at the creative life I lead.

So understand that I am tired and a little crabby... most days the Silver Lining is pretty shiny. Just not as much today.

Of course my taxes aren't done, but I'm pretty sure I'm getting at least something back, so no penalty.

Night!

4/14/2014 Blood Moon, Rehearsals, PT

Today I had an eye appointment - AND a Physical therapy appointment.  So many appointments! 

Working on a good new contact lens prescription. It's a never-ending battle. trying another increment. eh. 

I've been pretty sore for a few days - probably to do with being sedentary while I was in bed with the flu/cold/thing. I had to cancel PT during that time. It was good to get back to Ann. She taught me some exercises to strengthen my core/abs even more (I could sure feel it later in rehearsal. trying to hold long notes!!). I I have an exercise ball it would be easier, but it can be done without. Then she did some massage on my calves - they are so sore when I get up - her suggestion was that my lower back, which is learning all kinds of new posture trick, since my pelvis tilts properly now for the first time, is affecting the whole leg. Ice and stretching and lots of ab and lower back strengthening shoudl help get my calves to finally relax. 

Then it was off to rehearsal - finishing up the "stumble through" we started last night. 

it was stumbly, but gave us an idea of what we need to work on. you can see that it WILL become a really terrific production. it is full of very strong people who are strong in both acting and singing. that isn't always the case in Musicals. but it's a great group, and Peter, our accompanist/ music director is wonderful, I did better than nast night (Really bolloxed up my first fast song last night) tonight my second fast one was better, and I realized that I have more of the pattern of the show in my bones already than I thought. I was able to work mostly with the script in my hand. such a relief. My ballad went pretty well. I get what is known in Musical Theatre as "the Eleventh Hour number"  - the song that brings the house down about 10-15 minutes before the end of the show, I am very lucky! It's a great song, and I am really pretty comfortable with it. 

Toward the end of the rehearsal, I was really knackered and sore. 

I came home, watched the total eclipse of the moon  -- the Blood Moon - and took some poor photos (It was fun, and beautiful to see! :) ) .. and then I iced down well. 

Ann (my PT)  assures me it shoudl all be normal. Not to worry. Mostly I don't but if I have an exra twingy twinge - I just harken back to the slo-mo fall down the bottom two stairs 6 weeks ago, Yikes. THe little divot on my shtit is nearly healed - it was a lot deeper than it seemed. Still not infected (hurrah!) but not pretty. 

OK - off to bed for me. 

4/11/2014 starting from here

OK - I'm getting back into the world.

I worked today, had an acupuncture appointment today. It was good to get a tune-up.

No rehearsal tonight... I've ben working on one of my trickiest songs. the lyrics repeat - almost - but not QUITE... a lot - and they are FAST.

I'm tired. My brain is on diminishing returns. I nailed the song several times, I have it down... then the lyrica started getting garbled and mixed up. Time to put it sown for a few hours.

I'm quite achey, too. I did a "sprint" on the recumbent bike yesterday - something I saw on Dr. Oz about exercising is fast bursts to get your heart over 140 BPM three times a week...
Don't know if it was that. but my joints hurt a good bit.
My damn calves al still are SO still and sore pretty much any time I get up..
slowly but surely.

I also had kind of a realization - don't laugh.. there is this thing in my head about getting my life back that thinks I'll just kind of be as strong as I've even been if I do my pt. Well, sort of.
I am being reminded that since I haven't really been able to walk to so anything sustained for so long - I am very very out of shape and slow and weak. Even though I AM recovering.

I know, Duh. SO - kind of re-calbrating and realizing that now I'm almost to the phase when the "normal" exercise has to start, and build. I can't climb that mountain by Lake Alpine yet.
I can't go dancing yet. I have to start walking - I haven't been doing the walks because of time, and because I now walk all over - but I need to FIND the damn time and start from there.

It's fine. I'm just tired. And "special" becasue I don't just get to be all better the way most hip replacements are. Oh, wahhhh... I'll get over it... already about am.

so here we go!
night!

4/10/2014 Cold/Flu is Subsiding... Progress, Still!

Feeling better... must remember not to over-do it, as with all healing.
Being off work and short rehearsals last night and tonight  helped - total rest would have been better, but I needed to learn some material, and it would be to stressful to have to catch up even more than I need to from previously missed rehearsals for Cannery Row performances.

I've been off work for three days - very rare - really rotten cold (Or flu as I suspect it might be after all).

Haven't entirely lost my voice, which is great - it's hard to avoid in a situation like this. But cheers to it!

I've been too sick to deal with home PT and had to cancel my PT appointment yesterday - the email didn't go through, and I'm glad I thought to call early in the afternoon, but I was very unhappy that it didn't go through, so Anne could re-schedule the appointment. Perhaps she was able to after all. 

Good things: at one point this afternoon, I felt a little blast of motivation/energy, and I was looking at the pile of clothes that have occupied the basket chair by my bedroom door for months and months and - considerably more than a year... because I as simply to immobile to deal with getting in and out of the closet to get to them. and I realized - I can get in and out of my closet with not one problem anymore. PUT THESE AWAY. And so I had a mad flurry of 'Hang it, hang it fold it, hang it..." grabbing hangers, popping them in superfast - 

Hear that?!? SUPER FAST! I broke a sweat! I can do things super-fast now. I amaze me sometimes! <Grin>
But I stashed a very large pile of clothes before realizing I was getting a bit winded and maybe a bit dizzy. Left a few more for another day, and then went into the kitchen to deal with the soup pot in the kitchen sink that I've been too sick to deal with. Washed, dried, stashed! a few other dishes washed or put into the dishwasher, too. 

THEN I sat down for a few minute's breather. God it feels good to do for myself. 

Also- I discovered that I can cross my left leg over the right much more easily - without using my hands to lift and put it there. 
Even more fun - for the first time, I checked to see if I can cross Right over left - at the knee - and you betcha, I can!! That was a new chuckle inducing discovery. 


Today is my friend Mariam's Birthday, and I am not very good at them. She is out of town, and I did manage some Happy Birthday love on Facebook, but time and budget make be really terrible, not doing what I would in another universe LOVE to do to lavish care on my friends.

Also - they are doing major work on the freeway a few blocks from my apartment, and being on the second floor, the noise is too much to leave the window open, during these first warm Sacramento nights. It will continue for ore than a month. At least I'm not as cloes as Mariam will be when she gets home (I dread it for her) or her friends upstairs who get it full-jackhammer in their windows, open or not.

Right, Back to work tomorrow, even though I'm not 100%...

4/6 and 4/7/2014 bad cold

Short post, here...
I used to have very bad allergies. I got rid of them with acupuncture years ago. YAY!
Last week, I began to sneeze. It's a hard allergy season - so I called and made an acupuncture appointment for next week, for a tune-up.

Not allergies. If I'd know it was a bloody cold, I'd have started my silver-bullet cold remedy - Coldcalm and Reishi Mushroom Tincture, with some Emergen C. Very effective.
Too late. So sick at last night's rehearsal - I begged to leave early to go to bed.
I Called in sick today - slept all day as best I could with congestion and stuffy/runny nose and muscle aches.

It turns out, when your body aches from a cold or flu(?) the painful places from hip surgery tend to hurt again. I don't appreciate that much, at ALL.  Plus, my ribs, shoulders and neck hurt from coughing and VIOLENT sneezing. Which scares the cats so they run from the room. 
Frankly, I feel the worst I have felt since being in hospital, post-surgery. Which was due to surgery. And drugs.

I am really not happy. I have songs to learn and practice, and choreography (Just movement - no dancing for me, yet) to learn. I went in an hour lat tonight, stopping at the Natural Foods Co-op for some remedies to at least try to get better sooner. It as pretty miserable. I am losing my voice, and i reallllly need it right now. At least we don't open for about 2 1/2 weeks.

I hate calling in sick to work - but I am afraid that, unless I get a LOT better overnight, it's due again tomorrow. Also - going in sick causes OTHER people to be exposed to it. SEVERL people did just that at work and in rehearsal. A terrible idea. *sigh*.

And now that I have whined about it - I bid you adieu. Wish me a good sleep, please.

4/5/2014 Brunches and Visitors bearing Portuguese Poetry

A beautiful day today - the only thing I had on the calendar was breakfast with friends, including my friend Debbie - she is at 1 month out from her anterior approach total hip replacement, and doing great!
She is still on some medication, and has a few other physical issues, but it looks like this was after the worst of the lot! She looks great and happy, and is naturally losing weight, and feels terrific! No pain, no cane! we had a grand time with three other good friends - we have been missing each other, and it was great to be together.

I came home, took a nap, and puttered around, tidied up a bit.
Then, talking with a dear friend on Facebook, we decided to have an impromptu get-together to discuss a wonderful poem he has written, part of it in Portuguese (My part - the poem has three voices, and we are putting together a reading with another friend reading the third voice).
He has been on a long holiday, and it was a true delight to see him. Terrific evening- he's hte best conversationalist I know. we worked hard on the poem - both translating it into English so I can be solid on what I am saying, and his coaching me - syllable by dipthong by tripthong through the Portuguese pronunciations.
Dialects and the sounds of other languages usually come easily to me - as an actor, it's one of my interests. There are many languages I can't speak, but I can pronounce like a native-speaker.

Portuguese is not one of them. I love this language, I find fascinating and very beautiful. The Portuguese music, Fado, is wonderful, and I have worked on trying to at least get the basic rules of it down - I would love to sing Fado one day (my friend's Portuguese friends just shake their head). Well...  not so much, on getting the pronunciations!
I have a few rules figured out - one or three - but there are SO MANY - and they are complex, and they change. They have nine vowels - and multiple diphthongs and triphthongs... and I am used to Spanish pronunciations, which are gauche to use in Portuguese.  So much work to do!!
But our work paid off pretty well this evening, and I got the pass on each line pretty much, eventually.

Off he went home after a great evening. Very Energizing!
He is very knowledgable about things physical, body mechanics, etc., and has been very very supportive and incredibly helpful to me through this whole process. I came smoothly and comfortably down the stairs toward him, and he said, "Now, *that* impresses me!". It has been almost two months since he has seen me, and I have come a long way.

I am falling asleep - but YAY for a good day - full of sunshine and good people.

4/4/2014 Gratitude for My Return to Theatre / Sharing Successes / Ibuprofen - or Tylenol?

Sorry I skipped yesterday - had physical theraphy and a rehearsal, and I was beat. 

Good news is my surgeon approved 5 more PT appointments between now and June- they had been approving them for short increments of time, and I was not able to get time slots and losing the appointments as the time expired... this should, I dearly hope, do the trick! If not, Ann will apply for more, and I hope he will approved more again! 

My Facebook status tonight: 

"Recently, during a performance of Cannery Row, in which I had the luxury of sitting in the band on our wee stair landing and just singing, and watching the show in full every night from our unique perspective, I happened to look up into the flies above Tyson, as he played the Captain, standing there with his shotgun before the Frog catching scene. The lights above us were in 'Evening is falling' mode - purples and golds... and I was flooded with a peace and joy - and the thought that, 'Here I am, sitting on a stage with a cast/band /crew of forty-something people, and there is a lovely, responsive audience, fully attentive to Steinbeck's stories we are unwinding before their eyes... and how beautifully, terribly lucky I am - we are - to be HERE. NOW. Doing THIS.'
It is an honor and a privilege to be in the Theatre. And a hoot, and ridiculous, and warm and tough, and crazy as hell. And I wouldn't give it up for ANYTHING.
Yet, I almost had to. Being forced off the stage by my defective bones was a nightmare, and sucked most of the joy out of life. Being back is, while tiring for the moment (as I grow stronger daily), still one of the biggest wonders about having my mobility and my life back.
Everything *means* something.
It is beyond description to be here in this point of life."

It was a pretty good day - tired, and somewhat creaky - feeling the after effects of a good PT appointment yesterday, and I stepped up my exercises a bit today. 

No rehearsal tonight - so a quiet-ish night at home ( the neighbors were having a party, but it seems to have calmed down at this very respectable hour of 11 pm - they are really great neighbors! )

My friend Debbie is doing so great! she, too is discovering new things - all those little things you didn't even realize you were losing, or pain habits... and they are now changing! Great fun as she shares her wins! 

I would like her to write a guest blog post for me here, but I may (as she suggested) compile some of her Facebook posts. wonderful progress! 

I was having some interesting success with Ibuprofen before rehearsal or PT, as it seems to handle my much diminished, but still present, pain better than tylenol - just a little, as it can inhibit bone growth, and I don't want to over do any medication, and am tapering off... but I get through and am happier and more energetic when II have less pain, so it's a balance. 

However, I think the ibu is causing some hives - this has happened when I was on high doses of it before, and even though I am only taking one dose of 600 - 800 mg a day (Instead of the max, before surgery), it has been long enough since I stopped taking it last August that even the smaller doses seem to cause the big itchy/stinging blister/welts. Dammit. Ah well. It really is not that bad, so I'll either stick to the time-released Tylenol or weather the hives (I they don't get to severe). 

OK! it's the weekend - hallelujah! :) A couple of brunches and probably not much else until Sunday night's rehearsal... 

I though i was getting some allergies (I haven't had them in years), but it seems I may have caught a bug that was going around both work and rehearsal. Dammit. 

Started taking my go-to, ColdCalm (I wish I'd realized it was a cold a couple of days ago), but it seems to be helping. And I'm taking N-Acetyl Cystiene (An amino acid) for cough - also seems to be doing it's job. I REALLLY need to sleep. 

4/2/2014 Cane? What cane? / Eyes

A pretty good day today. 

No cane, all day. I carried it in in my bag, just in case. My right knee was a little crnaky - tomorrow I have PT and Ultrasound, which will help. My balance is much- improved... Ann may cut me loose, who knows? But I hope to get a few more sessions. Again - I'm going for FULL recovery, and mine was pretty extreme. 

Went to the Eye doctor today. My Eye doc's wife works with him, and she was getting around on a knee scooter - her left heel had some pretty severe surgery a week ago - she should be at home, but they needed her and it's hard to say no. It was good to be able to empathize with her, and I helped by picking up a few things she dropped - she didn't want me to, but I told her how glad I was to be able to hep pay it forward. 

Unfortunately, they were pretty slammed, and I was a late appointment, so they were there til 6 with me. I appreciate the excellent care they give. I have terrible eyesight, and it's good to work on getting it better (I wear contact lenses, but getting the prescription just right is always tricky.) 

It was nice going in and showing off my mobility, but I didn't want to over-do it with Melissa being in pain and having a hard time getting around. 

I've spent the evening doodling around, taking a nap, talking to my sister on the phone, because my eye Dr. dilated my eyes ( myopia/very oval eyeballs make for more than usual pressure, and they check mine yearly just because of increased risk of retinal detachment). Fortunately they are very healthy and look great, but having my pupils huge (Demon eyes, as I enjoy calling them!) all evening makes for a pretty useless night, I really hoped to work on music, but I can't focus to see it. I'll have some catching-up to do. 

More and more normal days, all the time! 

4/1/2014 A Great Day for Pain Levels - Not That Great for Music Rehearsals.

I had a great day! I was out of Tylenol in the morning when I went to go get my vitamins. I realized - I don't even need it! got out of bed the easiest yet, mice smooth stroll down the hall to the bathroom - calves not tight! 

Went to work, took the cane in but didn't use it once - very smooth comfortable gait! 

just a few small twinges toward the end of the day. 

Off to the Chiropractor - he helped get my knee straightened out a bit, and adjusted my neck and ribs making my sore and cranky shoulders much better! 

At the end of the appointment, he said, "Well - you just call me when you need me! You're doing great!" 

I love hearing that! Stopped at the grocery store - no cane. strolled around the store feeling wonderful - got a few treats (Chinese food, Ice cream, some GF brownies - I'm not eating a lot of junk these days, but I was feeling VERY celebratory! Perhaps crab or lobster would have served me better, but brownies and Ice cream (which will last me for ages) it was! 

  I got very grumpy looks for parking in the disabled spot from an older man with a cane who parked next to me. Apparently an extra car length was not ok with him. To be fair - I remember when every singe step was like a mile of pain. But I still feel that wasting steps in the parking lot is not helpful. Soon enough I will begin to park further and further away, and revel in the journey! But he was grumpy at me. And I almost want to yank down my trousers and show him my matching 8 inch scars. Well, I REALLY wanted to. But I didn't. 

Off to rehearsal - we were moved upstairs, and that was OK. It was going well - I have four songs we hadn't really touched on, plus two small pieces... got several of them on tape... and then... we kept false-starting a particular song, and I went to delete one of the false start recordings... and I HIT THE "DELETE TODAY'S RECORDINGS" instead. 

 A lot of hard and very valuable work - PFFFT! 

Pardon my french, but MERDE!!!!!!!!!   I was so so upset. We tried to get them again, but I was too fried. I m losing a week of work with those tapes. and I'm pissed. 

I don't like April Fool's Day pranks, and pranking myself inadvertently was ust fat stupid. Grrrrr.... 

So I am going to go eat a brownie and some damn ice cream. And maybe some leftover chinese food. And I'm not even hungry, (NOTE - this is a very rare thing, I am NOT a binge eater, and I don't eat my feelings, and i rarely et sugary sweets. Just FYI). 

*sigh*, 

Must remember that th majority of the day was about feelign GREAT, and it being kind of a big sea-change Big Steps day! 

'night

March 31 2014 Inspiration, and Another Friend With Hip Issues...

Busy-but-sleepy work day, but mostly cane-free (just when I first get up after more than an hour sitting - the knee gets very stiff, yet).

I attended a great poetry event to benefit autism research- a fundraiser for the UC Davis Mind Institute  - one of the nation's top Neurodevelopmental centers - http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/mindinstitute/

The event featured poetry and essays by two of my favorite writers in the area, Dr. Andy Jones (a Ph.D. who teaches Literature and Writing at UC Davis) and he wife, Kate Duren. They have three children, their middle son Jukie, is autistic - the particular type of autism he has takes away language. They have written absolutely magical, honest, painful but most of all, profoundly loving words about having Jukie in their lives. He is 12, and a reminder of unbridled joy and love in the world. I had been following Kate's blog about life with Jukie, and it is wonderful. 

Another poet featured has raised an autistic so to the current age of 28, and she also had some really wonderful pieces about loving and living with him and the difficult decisions she was faced with as he has grown. 

It was a really wonderful event, and I saw some of my favorite friends from the poetry community. I came to poetry relatively recently, and these people are just wonderful, full of art and fun and very welcoming and kind - a trait I am coming to find is not always necessarily prevalent in some poetry communities. I feel grateful for them. Two of them, a wonderful couple, Mike and Eva, were there - Mike was limping and they were talking about his hip pain, and I immediately joined that conversation! When they met me it was just last year, I think - either shortly before or after I was reduced to using the walker, and in some really profound pain. I'd go up to to the mic with my poetry on that damned walker and sit on it to read.  

In fact, the pieces I was writing at the time were the first pieces about this Hip surgery experience... 

Well tonight, I was in my low heels - comfortably! - and took the cane with me just in case - and they were all pretty amazed. They haven't seen me since before the second surgery, and here I am sashaying all over the place (they also follow my progress on Facebook, come to find out!). Well, Mike has been having a tough time getting any action toward real relief - his doctor wants to try tylenol first... then Tylenol with codeine... basically, he wants to try drugs in increasing increments, it looks like, before he'll go to Hip Replacement. Really? I see how Mike walks, the kind of pain he is essentially trying to hide(I recognize it as through I were looking in a mirror of the past) and he should have better attention. 

I'm all for doing less invasive treatments IF they are going to be fruitful. But at a certain point, one must move on to a more attentive physician. 

If Mike's situation is NOT in need of surgery, and can be repaired in a less invasive fashion, hurrah, and more power to him! But it definitely seems it's time for him to bypass this doctor and at least find one who will listen to him. I waited FAR too long, believing the VERY wrong and dismissive diagnosis of "Soft Tissue Damage" before changing doctors and getting a second and correct diagnosis. 

I feel a bit like an ambassador. I was terrified to discover that I had to have surgery (There was NO choice by that time, and I was in very bad shape). People should not suffer like that because they are neglected by their doctor(s). 

 I have seen FAR too much of this, and will do anything I can to encourage people to get proper care. 

No- I'm not a doctor. But, do I know a LOT about medical care, this particular issue and have I seen a lot (Good lord SO MUCH) of very poor medical care? I wish I could say I had not. I have more experience with this issue than anyone should have to - but I choose to use it to help other people gain control of their own health care, and not have to go through the nightmares my loved ones and I have (and mine were the least of it). 

I still believe VERY strongly in alternative medicines - when I had pretty bad Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, acupuncture took the good progress I was getting with hand therapy and cured the condition! 

But when you are in the kind of shape that has little or no alternative and surgery will in fact give you your life back, that dammit, you should GET that. Not the damned runaround and shoved off with drugs. 

We all need to understand - WE ARE IN CHARGE. Our doctors work FOR US. We are not in their thrall. 

But (as I am fond of saying),  I have no opinions and I don't know how to express them. 

OK - I think that about does it for tonight! 

I wish Mike well, and I am here for him if he has any questions at all. He's a good guy and a terrific poet, and I wish him a full recovery as soon as possible.