December 30, 2013- Post-op Appointment Day! A Big one...

Well, now this was a big ol' day! 


Oh, I'm loving the progress and improvements!
This morning I was up and ready to go se Dr. Smith for my post-op appointment. A little coffee, a little pumpkin bread... A good PT session. Toni called and was excited for me! 
Mariam was here at noon, and off we went! I only took the cane, the walker is done! I won't rule out the use of the four-wheeled walker in a special circumstance, but -I think before too long, I'll be ready to go solo all the time! That is the goal! 
At the medical office, we got a wheelchair to take me to x-ray and up to Dr. smith's office because it was a lot of hallways.
X-rays went well ( thought the super-wide wheelchair they gave me was a challenge to get through the doors! I was able to get printouts and a cd with the images on them, too! I intend to to some kind of art project with them. 
But once we got up to Dr Smith's office, I needed to walk in there with the cane! The first few steps are pretty stiff and sore, but that is what I will be working on with Shawna in PT.
So we went in and waited fir Dr. Smith while Christina got my charts up on the computer and i asked about her new baby... I heard his voice and as he walked in, i stood up good and straight  and walked to him to shake his hand.:) he was pretty tickled, and gave me a great big hug. He's such a great, kind person, and the feeling that someone in his position is so kind, and truly cares about me and my healing as his patient is truly a gift. 

We talked about when I should be ready to go back to work and how I am needing to get up onto my feet comfortable and stably. The original estimate was for January 6, which would have been the same as the first surgery. But this time, the surgery was much longer- it was five hours, so the muscles and more have taken longer to get back into place and heal. More pain and more numbness, and longer to get stringer.
Also, the first surgery recovery was not going for the full recovery, because the right hip was still so bad, painful and crumbled. We were going for the best possible, and I was still on the walker.
This time, we're going for the real deal, full recovery, up and walking without a major limp, getting the cane to be more of a balance tool than a support... 
He gave me another additional week to really get up and functioning. 
This will also let me have four more PT appointments with Shawna to really get me strong and address all of my issues, ensuring that I'm executing my body mechanics totally right. 
Dr. Smith knows I'm no slacker, and I have to remind myself that it is actually OK to take the proper amount of time to heal and get strong! 
I forgot to find out if I can drive now, but an email this afternoon confirmed that as long as I feel safe, I can. 
I am definitely better for driving than I have been in the last year or more. 
It's just walking - the weight on the hip and knee- that are not quite ready yet. So yes, it's ok to drive, and it's legit to beed time for walking safely. 

Before I left, I gave Dr. Smith a card to thank him most sincerely, and let him know how profoundly he has changed my life. I enclosed an origami crane with an explanation of the symbolism of it. He appreciated it and even got a little emotional, too. It was kinda cool. 
Another big hug, and we got me set up with my release letter for disability, and set a date for a followup set of x-rays and appointment to check my progress. 

These are my Facebook updates today: 
"Just home from my post- op appointment. Yay!!! This is my amazing surgeon Dr. Scott Smith- he's proud of me. Then, Mariam Helalian and I did our now-traditional post- appt. trip to Gunther's( this is my ice cream AND hers) ! Thank you, MH! You're the best!"

"Just confirmed it via email - forgot to ask my surgeon this afternoon, I was so happy! I am released to drive! So happy I can get myself around again. Now I get a little time to focus on walking properly and with ever-decreasing pain, and perhaps graduating from the cane. (Oh, and dancing. That needs to happen soon.) I am giddy with the Happy!"

Mariam and I went to Gunther's, enjoyed our ice cream, and back to get me home, ending in a walk to the corner, across the street, back up to cross to my apt.  

I relaxed the afternoon, Toni called to hear about my appointment results and we celebrated over the phone.
My friend April brought a lovely dinner of frittata,, herb roasted potatoes, coconut cupcakes and a nice bottle of Malbec  - my last Mealbaby.com meal! I'm on my own for cooking and such now, but there are lots of lovely leftovers in the freezer to keep me well fed for a week or more. We had a lovely visit, and I've been relaxing since. About time to get to bed.

The sore bum issue is flaring a little after the wheelchair today, I think. * sigh* shouldn't last too long.

One more good thing! I tried to recumbent exercise bike a little, very gently- i did about 4-5 minutes, and it felt pretty good! 

December 29, 2013 Three Weeks, Five Days Out, and Back in the World

I am walking with my cane - and without it  for long stretches! - now. Having a free hand... feeling less pressure on my hands after six months on walkers... wonderful.

I walk around the corner in my bedroom toward the desk, and there is a full-length mirror beyond it. I see myself standing STRAIGHT for the first time. 

In my life. 

In the mirror, I see someone who looks beautiful and very happy. 

I walk a little slowly, and with a smaller and smaller limp by the day- when I get up after sitting a while, it taks 2-3 steps to stretch out and get stabilized, but stabilize, it does, and I can move more nad more smoothly across the floor, and more confidently and calmly. 

My SPIRIT is calm, and serenity is a thing I am beginning to feel, rather than just remember or anticipate. 

Pain doesn't bend me, or crumple my face in sourness and worry. Just standing straight takes pounds off of my silhouette, too - always a nice thing! 

I have lost weight and will clearly continue to in this process, with fewer and fewer pain and stress hormones blocking the way, and with good regular walking and exercise biking (I bought  recumbent exercise bike three or four years ago via Craigslist for $50 - it takes stress of hands and wrists (I had carpal tunnel syndrome at the time I purchased it - repaired with hand therapy and acupuncture), and it has a low pofile, so I have it parked in front of my fireplace in my livingroom. It is unobtrusive, and I care not if it isn't exactly fashinable decor - it is where I will use it (If I am watching tv, I can as easily do so on the bike as from an easy chair). 

I am very, VERY close to using the bike again! in fact, after my physical routine today, I am going to just go experiment with it - am I quite ready? Even slow rotations might be a nice muscle-loosening wrm-up. 

I must remind myself to lift and move my right foot forward when I am sitting - I no longer have to sort of jump it forward in tiny jumps, which was the only way I could move it before sure to pain, and the inability to actually lift the foot off the ground using the proper hip joint/muscles. NO problem now. 

Makes putting on pants a kind of happy occasion! Not taking any of the simple things for granted any more! 

MORE success/ progress!!! 

I've just done my full physical therapy routine, with new stretches and exercises (on my back, tilt the pelvis, hold it stable and move legs and arms in various configurations - this is a tough and great one! It is clled the "Dead bug". PTs have a sense of humor. ) and I added PNFs (Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation) stretches - it is a resistance technique I've been using for several years. Within about five minutes, I was able to finally, FINALLY "frog" my hips out to the sides, flat, knees bent. This has been impossible for YEARS. 

It feels like a cool breeze moving through me, clearing things out and making me feel all CLEAN inside, physically and mentally. 

At this point, it seems that almost every "new" ability I try is succeeding - it is just waiting for me to think of it, carefully move through it, and very mindfully perform it. Walking...

 soon comes dancing and occasionally a little running, just because I can. 

I am NOT a "runner" and don't intend to become one - but to be ABLE to again will be a JOY! Walking and dancing are my exercise joy, and I intend to employ it abundantly very soon! 

**************************

Dec 29 

I was able to get a ride with friends to a wonderful annual holiday party this afternoon! 

I didn't even *think* about taking the walker. It was all cane, and it was great! We stayed until about 9:30, and all that sitting was no problem at all!  Oh, victory!

We had a grand time - I ate sugar, chocolate, cheese, dips, salty crackers and chips ( All gf, of course!) and had a glass of champagne! :D I've been eating pretty well and avoiding too many sweets, but today was a day of indulgence!! 

The party hosts' circle includes many wonderful musicians, and a couple of hours in, the guitars came out! That's when the party really gets going! I had a great time singing with terrific musicians - a great, welcoming and fun group of smart and talented people. 

And I met a terrific new friend who has several mutual friends in the poetry and theatre world. She had a brain injury 4 years ago and it took her all that time to come back to health - she, too had to learn to walk again - we are somewhat parallel in our lives, and we both instantly felt that there are just some people that you meet when it's time to meet them! 

I am freshly showered and content. Ready to get fresh x-rays and see my surgeon for the post-op consult. 

Still almost befuddled that it is here - the four week mark. 

It is kind of fun to be out in public and socializing, and have a conversation about the susrgery. When they ask "When did you have it?" I say, "One in August, and one four weeks ago." 

Jaws drop. :) 

Saturday 12/28/2013 - Kaleidoscope of Emotion!

Saturday - a lovely Saturday!

I slept well for the time I slept (to bed very late again), and then was up to take morning Tylenol at 8 am.

Did my new PT routine, with lots of pelvic tilts and abdominal support and Pilates breathing! 

I rolled to the RIGHT side for the first time an snoozed a bit before it got  bit sore, and then to the left for a good bit and slept a little more. 

It feels incredible to sleep on anything but my back with a pillow under my right knee in more than a year for the first time!! 

Up, made coffee and was dressed and ready when my friends Ann and Krissy dropped in for a while. 

Toni slept in a bit, and starte packing and made some phone clls to friends while we visited. 

Then she took a nap - she's been staying up later than usual to share time together, and I have appreciated it! 

She got up again around 1:30 and made us sandwiches for lunch - she has doen a great job of making sure I know pretty well what's in the fridge and freezer - lots and lots of leftovers will keep me well fed for at least a week, maybe more, and I need to cook up  the fresh vegetables for the first few, as they are reaching their limit soon. I can't wait to cook up the chards and kale we just got!! CRAVING greens!! 

One more meal is coming from my friend April Monday, and then it's all me - and I feel READY! 

I've only used the cane since I got up! The first few steps tend to be a little stiff, but after a few steps, it evens out and the pain is quite manageable, and my gait is getting better and better, 

THEN! - I told Toni, "Watch this" - and I picked up the cane and took about 8 limping but very real steps!!! 

We went for one more walk together in the amazing, warm December sunshine - this time, it was ALL cane - NO walker - this is a big deal, as the timing is perfect - I can now take MYSELF for my walks! I have reduced to distance back again, and will once again increase each day, but this is a whole new ball game!! We walker to the left of my stairs to T street, about a quarter block, across the street, and up again to just across the street, so about 3/4 of a clock total. Up the stairs, no problem, getting reasonabl comfortable. My knee is what tires most, first, so i just gear it carefully. 

I had Toni take a video, of course. This is HUGE landmark which needs trumpet fanfares!!!! 

All day I've been able to pick up the cane and take 15 or so limpy but real STEPS, un-supported!! 

Toni took some time to get a shower, pack up her last things, and make sure I didn't need anything else. 

Then off she drove, and I won't likely see her again for the next year or two! We talk very often on the phone, but after this experience, it is leaving a very tight place in the back of my throat to see her go. 

I tarted to tear up when we hugged goodbye, and we were both trying to be Big Brave Women and not cry... we sort of succeeded - ish. And now I'm making up for it with a few tears! I am so grateful I can never say it enough... I wrote her a card and folded her an origami crane in thanks... she keeps telling me I don't need to thank her again, and it's OK - but I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude for all she has done for me, and Mariam before her for Sugery #1 and also help this time too, and all the amazing friends who have come to help look after me, bring food, visit with laughs and flowers and good cheer, suport ALL over Facebook - I am so blessed I don't even know what to do!!!! 

The house is very quiet. A good thing and a little bit lonesome thing, at once. At least Mariam and the other friends all live around here... but, Toni will be back! It's time for her to go relax, visit friends, work her way up the state and into Oregon at a leisurely pace, and visit our sister Pat over New Year's. 

I'm thinking that by Monday when I go to see Dr. Smith, I just MAY be able to deal with the distance from the car to X-ray, then to the elevator and then up the hall to his office with just the cane... I REALLY want to!!! The other option would be save energy, take the wheelchair they offer at valet parking up, then send it back down and cane walk in to see him. :) It will be the first time he's ever seen me WALK! I usually have been in the wheelchair at his office for ease of gettign around an dnot having to deal with the walker! 

It seems more and more likely that my worry bout needing an extra week off before returning to work is unfounded. I remember the great progress the first time, but this one improved initially more slowly, so I was feeling that the whole process woudl be slower... not suddenly FLASH by to play catch-up!!! :D 

I am a person of deep emotions (Had you noticed? ;} ) and right now they are a huge kaleidoscope swirling and dancing around in me. Joy at my fast progress, Gratitude by the buckets, and an odd feeling that this long, LONG process and the changes it made in my life really ARE almost over, and "normal", which has been such a foreigner in my life, is returning.  So many simple things will be "Firsts since..." and it is - very odd. a bit dizzyfying. And very welcome. 

I will be forever changed, and hope to carry the life lessons with me through my long, happy productive life. 

Time to start studying music for my first show, and getting re-familiarized with the next one for which I'll be auditioning very, very soon! 

I've been talking about it, but it is fast becoming reality. I am getting my life back, RIGHT NOW. 

It is dizzying. 

PS - I spent  quiet afternoon, the had a visit and Chinese takeout with a friend. Pretty exhausted! 
a bit of telly and knitting wrapped up the day - and I am delighted to report - I used the cane the rest of the day as planned. In fact, I forgot it in the kitchen once! A good sign! 
I am lettign myself use the walk tonight and tomorrow night (and beyond if I need it, but my guess is after tomorrow night, I won't!) 

Off to bed - very, very sleepy. And happy, indeed. 

12/27/2013 More Steps, Baby Ones, Medium Ones...

8:38 am

After the big day of doing maybe too much yesterday (Laundry, walkign with the cane in public, etc), I was concerned that I would be paying for it hard today, but  it's not too bad. 

My back muscles are exercise sore from doing new exercises involving being on my back ,doing a pelvic tilt and holding it while moving arms and legs in different ways, breathing deeply from the core. 

but the right thigh is actually more comfortable. moving and flexing it this morning with wake-up PT  was surprisingly not painful. The deep muscles seem to be happy about getting active - this is great!

It is also clearly why I was able to start using the cane yesterday, 

I switched back to the walker for the evening and through the night, but will use the cane today and continue to be able to use use more and more, the walker less and less. 

While at the laundromat last evening, I pardoned myself to the attendant for moving so slowly as she waiting to go by, but she was sweet about it. I told her I was breaking in a couple of new hips, and she was very kind and wished me well. She said, "I had a question. When it gets cold, do you feel it in that joint? I had a facial reconstruction a couple of years ago, and there are several plates in my face, and when it gets REALLY cold, my face hurts like hell!" 

She was a beautiful woman, and it was amazing to know that her face had been so damaged - clearly, great surgeons at work. I told her it was a little too early for me to quite tell, as I haven't been out into the cold much, but that when I put an ice pack on it, I can kind of feel it in the metal of the joint, and that's kind of weird! 

But otherwise, this morning, I'm feeling glad that, though I did more that I would have on my own, a large amount of laundry is done, there are clean sheets, clothes and towels to last me a good while (perhaps even until I can get to the laundromat by myself!!! This is such an odd concept after so long being unable to get anything up or down my stairs by myself, having to use both rails to support my body. 

More later... I have 40 minutes to put in my contacts, brush my teeth, brush out my hair and get  little coffee before Beverly comes to wash and trim my hair for me! 

Then It'll be PT with Shawna again. Hoping I can get further than yesterday's walk without too much pain - I have bested the previous day's walk every time so far, and hope I'm not too sore to do it again, but if so, I won't be too hard on myself. There were lots of changes yesterday. 

Added at the end of the day: 

Hair trim and wash was wonderful! My curls bounce again - make a workd of difference, even a nice trim. 

Shawna was great as always for my Physical Therapy. She added two sessions for the next two weeks providing I'm home for one extra week beyond January 6, but I am at least home next week. 

We did lots of PT, more knee massage which always helps. Then we went for a walk - I was afraid I'd be pretty stiff and sore after yesterday's long active day, but only a bit, and once we got me moving and warmed up, we were off for my walk. I though I might bhave to make it a bit shorter than usual, but it turned out that not only did I make it past two more houses (ALmost two blocks and back), but the first third of the trip out was using my cane, not the walker!! 

I switched to the walker to be smart and not over-do, and was fine when we got home. TOni was able to join us, and I was really glad. 

I iced up well after PT, and we put together my niece's family's belated Christmas box and actually got it shipped before New Year's! This limited mobility and pain over the last 5-7 years (I really should try to figure out the exact amount of time, but what matters now is that it's essentially over!) has made me the worst procrastinator, and in fact some projects just never got finished let alone mailed, for lack of energy or strength to do them. 

Then we went to Fleet Feet where I purchased the orthotic shoe insoles Shawna had suggested for help walking in proper alignment, since my body has never been able to do so. 

Toni meant to leave today, but then looked at the hurry she was putting herself through, and she has quite a bit of time still off, so she decided to just get her car's oil changed, and help me with a couple of errands, and that was it for a relaxing day. I was able to get my own dinner together - a lovely vegetable stew and salad that my friend Marilyn brought - can I just say how I have CRAVED greens?!?? it was delicious! So It took a little of the constant needs for things off - though I did accept help with wee things like getting ice packs or a hot pack. I want her to have relaxed time now! 

*While my friend Marilyn was here delivering dinner, she told me a coworker is having a hip replacement, and would like to know more - I gave her full permission to share my email or phone number and I'd be very happy to give her any encouragement I can. This is what I want to do! This is what I hope these very words are doing for someone - helping them understand all of the facets and aspects of this life event! 

I was really happy that she stayed an extra day - I will miss her! After our initial stressed out week or so, it has been wonderful having sister-time - watching tv together - laughing, even the getting crabby part was just natural sister stuff. 

After dinner and dessert (cookies Marilyn also made!), we relaxed and just enjoyed the evening together. 

I was able to finish putting together the music we had downloaded and pout onto CDs - but she only has a cassette in her truck - I had the same until recently - so I put the new CD's onto tape for her to listen to on the road, as well. SO happy to be able to reciprocate ANYTHING! This was a music list she has been keeping for years, so it was great to be able to help her get her favorites! 

I am more grateful than I can express for what she has done for me, just coming out from Colorado for more than a month to be with me and help me through this recovery period. Grateful, indeed. 

I am still on and off the walker as fatigue and soreness permits - mostly the earlier half of the day I use it a good bit, but I did use only the cane at the Post Office and Fleet Feet today - I have to really focus and there is pain, but it is POSSIBLE now to put the weight on the right leg! just wonderful and amazing. 

About half of the butterfly tapes have come off my incision/scar in teh shower, as they are meant to do. If they aren't all off by Monday and my Doctor's visit, I will probably carefully remove them. That will be the two week mark since the staples were removed, and that is the time by which they can come off 

Off to bed - friends are arriving tomorrow morning at 10, and Toni will be packing up and heading out some time during the day. After that, I'm on my own again! Thank goodness I can deal with the cane between the car and house again! that is really key, as I cannot deal with the walker on the stairs. I know how, but it is just too much. I expect I'll be taking walks alone with my cane soon... perhaps not as far as I've been able to get with the walker, but that is all part of the process! 

If I have company, I hope to get all the way tp the far corner f the second side of my block, and then I hope to get home by going all the way *around* the block, instead of back the way I came. About 40 feet further that way, but that "First time all the way around the bock" is a nice goal! 

Perhaps that will be my walk with Shawna next Tuesday. 

AFTER my post-op appointment with Dr. Smith!! Amazing to believe how the days were dragging SO SLOWLY - and then all of a sudden have CRASHED by the last week or ten days!  SUch  strange thing, time!!! 

Good night, hip-py people! 

12/26/2013 from Doubts to A Red-Letter Day!

A note I wrote this very early morning in bed on my phone: 
12/26 1:09 am

Here in the dark i'm kept awake by a concern which wants to become a worry. 

This right hip replacement, if I am remembering right, is much more painful in the joint area for longer than the first, left, one.

This pain is the only thing keeping me from walking, as it keeps me from putting my full weight in the leg in order to take an unsupported step. It's not "Uncontrolled by pain medications" kind of pain. It's "Please get healed enough to be strong enough to support my" pain.

I worry that my x-rays on the 30th will show that it is somehow not right. 
"Revision" is Not what one (I) want(s) to hear . That means yet another surgery I neither want nor can afford. I have worked so hard, and undergone a bloody LOT in four months. 
Trying to stay positive , hoping I am over thinking it and this is normal, the over-  reaction will bear out in the x Rays, 

Sigh
Back soon

************************************

My facebook status today: 

"And so ... Drum roll... This is a Big Day! My physical therapist today addressed my concerns about not quite walking yet... Got some new core exercises to do... Worked hard and well, nice long walk with the walker....
And then, came home and tested using the cane. 
And FINALLY, FINALLY!!! Since 11:30 am, i have not needed the walker. 
I went to the loo and back from my living room chair, went into the kitchen(including a step up and one down each way), made lunch, carried it into the living room... All without sitting down. 
I may need it a little more just as a rest between, but my progress is so fast with this amazing surgery that i think it's a few days at MOST until i can walk away from it for good.
I am considering this "walking", because it IS!!! The next big one is walking unsupported... But having the framed apparatus out from in front of me for the first time since June???
You have NO IDEA. 
Wow."


Of course, an alarming number of friends actually DO have an idea... 
but feedback was kind and loving and very supportive - made me feel great. 

The day started fairly early. Toni was going to visit a friend for the morning. I got up and made coffee and got a bit of breakfast. It feels good to putter in my kitchen again! 

Shawna came, and I told her about my concerns and how much I need to be walking. She agreed that we should book in  at least two more PT appointments, and we'll be meeting again tomorrow. 
Then we got to work. She massaged my rogue knee (Swollen bursa) and then gave me a new set of exercises, focusing on the Core and getting that Ilio-Psoas muscle group back in good strong working order, to get those sore and abused thigh muscles strong and working again. They were hard, and it was worth it! Still, I feel less pain in PT than most patients with other injuries or surgeries. Very grateful. Thankful for the PIlates breathing techniques I learned, as well! 
After that, we walked for a record distance - all the way to U Street (3/4 of a block) and up U half a block. I got home and up the stairs, less fatigues than ever by that time. and STILL had the energy to work with Shawna on walking with my cane - and lo and BEHOLD!!! - It WORKED!!! A little sore, but no longer too sore to put weight on the hip joint for the whole arc of a full step! 
It was pretty consistent, too - she video tapes it - I'll try to link it soon. After she left, I rested a bit, then tried a trip to the loo with only the cane  - Made it! Then, the kitchen, made a sandwich, cleaned up some dishes, carried my lunch onto the living room IN MY HAND! 
All little "miracles" I've worked so hard to achieve!! As the afternoon wore on, I uesd the walker a bit due to fatigue - but I did have to greet Toni walking on the cane. It only took her a minute to get it, and then she celebrated with me! 

We decided to do a bit of cleaning out of old things while she's still here in conjunction with doing a bunch of laundry. We got quite a lot done, things looking nicer and more organized. 
Then we went to the laundromat (Stopping at the Co-op for a few things and at Jimboy's for dinner!) .. it was probably too much for me off the walker, but it was nice to insist and use the cane, even though it was slow and a big twingy. 
But we got a lot of laundry done ( Seven loads?) and stopped on the way home for a celebratory treat from Rick's Dessert diner. Chocolate Hazelnut Torte for me, German Chocolate Cake for Toni! 
home again, got laundry mostly dealt with and sheets back on my bed ( hurrah!) and then we vegetated in front of the TV.
I iced quite liberally - but this time, I was really feeling the work today - hoping I didn't to  Classic "Over-did it!" Shawna may kick my ass tomorrow. 

Early day tomorrow, so I'm off to bed - but It was a GREAT day, using the cane, even though it's still tender and slow. Very very good! 

Goodnight while I'm still making relative sense! 
-Martha

12/25/2013 Christmas Day

Awoke around 9 this morning, and slowly got ready for the a nice Christmas day. 

I got into the kitchen before Toni got up, got the dishwasher loaded, made coffee and tidied up a little - 

It was great! :) 

I wrapped my brother and sister in law's gifts and had a nice little breakfast Toni made when she was up - a soft boiled egg and some bacon. then we eventually made it out the door to Roseville. 

A nice languid, quiet visit with Chris and Carole... we talked, BS'd, Carole made a lemon Meringue pie with a little kibbitzing from Toni and I, we laughed, and eventually had pizza!  it was individual GF crusts, they had gone and bought some Round Table Pizza Sauce, and we build our own! For me: exotic mushrooms, mixed cheeses, black olives, pepperoni, some shaved Parmesan - and anchovies! YAY! 

delicious... and then we ate  lemon meringue pie! 

We had talked about a movie, bt we were all getting  little knackered. 

IMPORTANT improvement! After sitting for 3 1/2 hours on a hard plastic chair (a good height and more comfy thatn lower couches and chairs ,yet) last evening, and then sitting a lot at Chris and Carole's for about 5 hours, I am happy to report that my bum is healthy and the skin is comfortable ! I want to knock wood here, but I think the worst of that issues is - erm... oh, I'll say it: Behind me!! :) 

It was a really lovely, nice Christmas - Toni and I bickered a bit on the way to Chris', but we figured out that she was just really tired. I was a little, too, and just realizing it fixed it. We look at two sides of the same coin a bit differently, and sometimes it causes a conflict. So, we're human! It's all fine. 

It was nice all day to read and enjoy everyone's Facebook posts with photos of food, Christmas Trees, Gifts, goofy relatives having fun... 

I received a gift certificate from our sister pat fro Zappos online with a note, "You'll need new Dancin' shoes!" Indeed! I found a lovely pair of low, quality, PRETTY! (I am SO sick of wearing shoes because they are flat, solid and non-dangerous) black pumps with a Mary Jane strap but a pretty line - and a pair of new sandals for the summer! Thank you, Pat! 

Toni gave me wonderful home grown dried herbs for the kitchen, and a beautiful photo she took probably 27 years ago - our extraordinary late Mom, Butchie, with our then 2 or 3 year old niece, Michelle ("Chelly" then) , close-up, smiling, in a wee frame. Each of us had a "Little Chwistmas cwy" when we opened ours (all the siblings and Michelle got one. ) 

Chris and Carole gave us lovely Meyer Lemon lotion and a swell soft leather wallet. 

Yesterday my friend Sam (Husband to my dear friend Deborah, who passed away in October) texted to see, "Are you home tomorrow, are you off meds enough for a wee tipple, and might I invite myself over for a visit?" He's a good friend, and I was delighted 9and the answer is yes to the tipple!) and we decided best time would be 7 or 8 when we arrived home from Roseville. When we got home tonight I texted him, and he came over! He brought a delightful Toddy involving Grapefruit juice, black tea, a splash of good bourbon and a bit of Maple Syrup to sweeten it - it was DELICIOUS!!! just one and we were all happy, and under the legal limit! Toni went to bed, exhausted, and planning to be up at 7, and Sam and I talked for a couple of hours. When he left we had tentative plans to see a movie with his daughter and her roomie... it will be a nice outing! He's also going to a pre-new Year's party on the 28th mutual friends are throwing, so I will catch a ride with them as well. Good to see him out and about, and nice to catch up! 

It's good to get this written and posted at a decent hour, instead of into the wee hours! 

Tomorrow is a hair wash at 9:30, and then Shawna will be here for PT... Toni will go to visit a friend in town - so a good bit going on. 

Yesterday, I texted Shawna after I walked those few wee steps, and she was very happy for me and looking forward to seeing me on Thursday to continue improvement. :) She's a really great person, as well as a great Physical Therapist. I am deeply lucky and terribly grateful. 

I think I will post this and go enjoy one more little Christmas Indulgence - a Vanilla Cranberry Cupcake purchased at Pushkin's Bakery yesterday morning and a bit of milk. :) 

Then a bit of tv and, one hopes, and early (Or at least DECENT!) bedtime... it's suddenly 11, so I'd better hurry to accomplish that! At least it won't be 3:00 am again! 

Merry Christmas to all... 

"Love and joy come to you 

And to you glad Christmas,too

And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year!" 

Christmas Eve, 12/24/13 Best Christmas Gift...

Christmas Eve, 12/24/13 5:45 pm Best Christmas Gift... 

I think I just walked a few legitimate steps by myself. As odd as that sounds, It has been about to happen... then, I wasn't in much pain at all and kind of put my weight on it in the kitchen, moved away from the walker to the fridge and didn't have to grab anything... 

I think it as walking!! 

Merry, MERRY Christms to me!!

My friend Melissa had just left, after an absolutely WONDERFUL visit!
Toni is at my brother's - I'm home alone getting ready to go to some friend's party for the evening... no one here to video take it as I had hoped - but dammit - I think i'm bloody WALKING!!!!!! 

I have called Jt, Toni, Mariam and Christina - only Mariam answered - and it was great to share it with her - but I know she was preoccupied... 

I am SUCH A SOCIAL PERSON!!! I wish I could reach my people!!!! But I am savoring it and smiling.

:) So I guess I'm meant to enjoy it and savor it quietly for a bit. :) That's OK. 

6:00 pm

Jt called just now... celebrated with me :) Appreciated the import of my "Christmas Miracle" and laughed with me. :) Grand to talk to him, as always! 

Toni also called back... well and properly congratulated and acknowledged - I was tempted to go to the Christmas Eve party with only my cane, but I think not QUITE ready yet! 

2:26 am next morning - just getting to bed... 

I had an absolutely splendid time at Jess and Seth's party! He came and picked me up (they live 4 blocks away, so I'm glad it was convenient!) and I had a great time! And the evening was fun, lively, wonderful to see and socialize with theatre friends!! 

I made an executive decision: i decided that since this is Christmas Eve, and I'd really like to celebrate with a small cocktail, and my Coumadin/Warferin was due to be finished today, I would cut it off one day short. ONLY one. The odds of me suddenly springing forth with a blood clot due to 20 days vs/21 days of the drug were a well in my favor. 

So I took my last one yesterday and tonight I enjoyed a light, Christmassy  

cocktail - it had cranberry juice, champagne and a little lime juice in it - absolutely delicious, and very lightweight on alcohol. Ok - I also had about a 1/4 cup of home made and not strongly spiked eggnog. But even at that, it was a very small amount of alcohol. and I enjoyed it! 

Everyone was lovely and happy, the gluten free lasagna and Chex Mix were much appreciated - all good food at the party! 

Toni arrived home from our brother Chris' house, and I texted her to plese pick me up at 10:30 - I was fairly cooked. she did, and it was perfect. Sitting pressure not too excessive, and I GOT OUT - to visit friends and just chill! 

Toni and I listened to some music Including the fabulous, Raucous tearjerking "Fairy Tale of New York by the Pogues and Kirsty McColl, had a late night snack, and sleepily enjoyed each other's company. 

The three or four steps I took in the kitchen show me that at parts of the day, I am not too sore to deal with it... variables like sitting and ALL are not disabling - and walking is ever and ever nearer!!

I am nodding as I type. Namaste, folks. I'm pretty happily amazed.

If I can walk more steps, it'll definitely be my "Christmas miracle" :) 

of course it has to heal, and the bad guy isn't always apparent. 

I now begin to make no sense. .

Good night, litle cowboys. :) 

Christmastime/surgery time...

I can barely believe Christmas is here, or that it is even Christmastime.

Having been out of circulation makes it a little off to see the commercials and hear the music, from one's armchair. This isn't so much a lamentation or complaint as an observation.

This surgery recovery is quite different from my first - the first was in Sacramento Sumer - hot prety much constantly, but always able to go outside without bundling up, to keep the windows open for fresh air, and being summer, friends had more free time - teachers and students ere off school, theatre is less frequent, and people have time.

This one isin a really unusual cold snap - most nights down to the thirties, and some below freezing - rare here, and usually not until January or February.
The days are shorter, cold... a little more challenging for opening up the house without spending a mint on heating, but you do what you have to do!
At least it's not raining. I usually enjoy our winter rains - not too cold, and they tend to go away after a few days for a sunshine break. But this year I'm grateful for a dry spell, though I know we need the rain. Manipulating a walker in the wet and slick streets and sidewalks is a more daunting task, and I haven't had to deal with it for my daily physical therapy walks, or occasional outings.

Parties and social gatherings, poetry readings, performances of friends' plays or bands at local watering holes - all of which would be on my schedule, normally, re necessary sacrifices. I will put one on the calendar with hope, only to realize I was being a little too ambitious about that happening.

At least I've goten a small modest bit of Christmas shopping done... nothing wrapped or shipped yet, but that's a small something! And we have plans for Christmas - a little low-key and happy evening at Jess and Seth's about six blocks from my apartment, probably getting  lift there from Toni (she's not comfortable in groups she doesn't know)  and then Toni and I will go to Chris' for Christmas Day.

Then there is a one-night cabaret on the 28th - a wonderfully talented friend's work - which i hope to attend, and on the 30th, I get to see Dr. Smith for my post-op appointment. He will likely release me to drive, and we will figure out whether January 6 is acceptable for me to return to work, or if I am not yet quite walking, perhaps I may get one more week at home and more PT appointments...
Of course, I may finally start walking on my own sans walker by the end of this week! I woudl find that to be the best Christmas present pretty much of all time.

Who knows what New Year's Eve holds... we'll see.  All I know is that the year to follow it will ABSOLUTELY be better than 2013. Hands down.

And to all a good night - good lord, Christmas Eve is tomorrow!

12/22/2013 Sunday goings-on

Got to bed late but slept pretty soundly. 
Woke at 8, took morning Tylenol.
Up about 10 am. 

Friends David and Keith were making their Sunday farmer's market trip and called to see if I needed anything. I asked for cauliflower and persimmons, and the couldn't find persimmons, so they brought a huge bag of gorgeous - mandarins! Hey - the case Toni bought is about half gone, so we're getting lots of vitamin C and have tasty healthy snacks! :) 
Maybe I'll make on of my favorite cakes, an almond flour clementine cake ( mandarins are close enough!) it's delicious! Perhaps one for us and one for Christmas eve at my friends the Minnihan's! 

Toni and I texted this morning - all's well on both ends. She'll be back from catsitting for our brother tomorrow afternoon. 

I go back and forth - quiet time is lovely, but it also feels a bit isolated, especially since i'm not driving yet. Not too bad, but it's there. The summer surgery was a little less isolated feeling, as people's schedules were less busy, the surgery was sort of novel (This one imay be a bit "here we go again") and lots of people came to visit. I have visitors, but it's Christmas with parties, shopping, vacations, etc. I understand nad have no resentment at all - but it is just a bit less lively, is my point.

I find myself missing Toni. :) We've been doing great since that first stressful week, and I do enjoy her company. I love my siblings an awfully lot! We do make each other laugh, and on occasion we indulge in a wee treat... I'm trying to be very very healthy and that is working well, except for the occasional treat with a bit of sugar, or potato chips. Still, I am very restrained, and I don't drink a DROP of alcohol with Coumadin on board. Why would I?!? Why take a stupid risk at my health, when it is so very easy to make the healty choice? All that I drink is water (Lots of it), one cup of coffee in the morning, and the occasional OJ or cup of tea. 
Also, since I haven't had anyone over long enough for it, I haven't been able to go out for my PT walk today. It's a little awkward and cumbersome getting the walker up and down stairs on my own. I know how, and could if there were an emergency, I would be able to, but I don't quite feel comfortable doing it on my own yet. 
So - one day without a walk is ok. I'm making sure to do my indoor PT, even a bit more. Lots of stretches and standing exercises, working on getting those right Quads, Hamstrings, etc. 
healthy, strong and well enough to take my full weight - THEN I'll be walking!!!
My PT Shawna called from her personal cell phone to schedule tomorrow's pt appointment. She said, "this is my personal nmber, and you're welcome to save it and use it as you like!"
I'm so happy- we trust each other and connect on a friendly basis, and that's just really cool! :) I just really like her as a person, and truly respect her as a PT. 

My friends Mariam and Eddie dropped my for a nice visit - great to see them and have company!

Andrea brought a crock pot of taco "stewp" for dinner- really tasty, and healthy - with ground turkey and brown rice and all kinds of tasty vegetables, and gluten-free taco seasoning. Fulfilling, tasty comfort food! 

I am playing with knitting a bit, but keep getting distracted. Would love to get a set of leg warmers for my toddler grand niece done (their Christmas package will be a bit late as it is)... 

***You'll think this time will be spent catching up on reading and knitting projects, writing, movies, etc... But sometimes focus is hard, and it's just easier to watch tv. Unfortunately, tv is rather crp right now, but there it is. Ah, well. Rest is most important.
I have so many great books I want to catch up on, but there it is! 
I do need to work on learning song lyrics for Cannery Row, and have been... I also have an audition for a musical I love, A New Brain, coming up. It looks very positive... It's not a huge line load, just a few choice songs, but it's a *wonderful* show and character I've been wanting to play for years, and I should have a few month's break in the summer, so this is a perfect way to ease back into my creative music and theatre life without overdoing it and pushing healing too hard. 


Toni called me as I was just getting out of the shower - she had picked up Indian food - another treat she doesn't get often in Colorado. :) It was so nice to talk to her. 
This is now becoming what I had hoped it would be (After the initial stress) - a bonding experience.  She's a great sister, and I love her very dearly. :) 

Off to watch a bit of PBS good tv, and enjoy a treat of home-made candy Andrea also brought with dinner! 

Shawna will be here at 10 tomorrow, my friends Ann and Misty will be here at 12:45 to visit a bit and  park Ann's car on my street while she is on vacation and save her some airport car fees (It will be *wonderful* to see her - it has been too long!!!) 

Toni will be home around 1 - a fun day of company! 

I am feeling good and happy. Still champing at the bit to walk, but I will, I WILL!! :) 

12/21/13 The Day's Progress - Pants!!

I didn't get to bed until 3 am, but slept hard til 8am Tylenol alarm

Progress: Slept all night with right leg/ knee flat, no pillow in for knee, for perhaps 2 years??

Today I felt like using some makeup, and I added my rights back. It feels good to wear them again. i even added a few I don't wear 24/7 usually, and some earrings and a bracelet! Just another step toward a Normal day. 

This is Today's Big Deal Facebook Status: It's a bit of a red-letter day!
This is SUCH a bigger deal than you might think it is.
I just put on my pants. No effort, no struggle, no pain. For the first time in about three years, I didn't have to struggle to lift my foot off the floor at all, use a grabber to get them over my foot, groan in pain as I pulled them up and then struggle to get the other foot inside the waistband...
I just put. On. My. Pants.
" I could tell you what it takes to reach the highest high, you'd laugh and say, 'Nothing's that simple' / but you've been down this path before while I was waiting at the door - this place is sacred as a temple..." 
              - Tommy - "I'm Free"


I spent the evening enjoying another in the filmography of Benedict Cumberbatch's films, a little character-driven film called Wreckers. Beautifully performed 

My friend Melanie Marshall brought an prepared dinner - two wonderful Indian dishes. absolutely delicious! I sent the leftovers home with her, because the fridge and freezer are filling up with very tasty leftovers, and that will be wonderfully helpful for me when Toni has gone home. 

I took  late late shower - a piece of the butterfly tape came off the surgica scar at the top where the skin is very soft and tender - I had to look closely to make sure it was only tender... but the incision is A-ok. I'll watch it, but it really is just pink. 

Watched Saturday Night Live - I was sitting a lot, and realized that I would like to have iced, but it was late, and frankly a little chilly to want to wrap parts of my leg, hip, knee, etc in ice. 
Itchy burning bum. Again. 
But at least I slept fairly well through it. 

12/20/13 - Progress, and a Bit of Shopping

I awoke a bit late for my morning tylenol, but only by an hour. felt a tad stiff and a bit sore but all normal and fine. 

Toni got up a bit later and got coffee and a litttle breakfast going... 

Shawna (PT) came and had more good exercises/stretches to give me toward getting my weight onto my right leg. it was DEFINITELY better today... progress. not there yet, but better, and that gives me renewed hope and enthusiasm. I know it WILL happen, just not quite *when*. 

We walked (with walker)  nearly to the end of the block - furthest yet!

We had a bit of minor excitement... there had been a mild but distinct somewhat - erm - funky odor apparent in the bathroom for several days. It was prety clean, but Toni cleaned it again... still there... 

in Middtown Sacramento we have roof rats . They live on roofs and in palm trees and  occasionally make their way into the attic. Could be squirrels, too... They NEVER show up in the apartment and we have no vermin of any kind here, just for the record... 

Well, it seems one of these critters mst have met it's maker in the ceiling... the neighbors in the apartment wal-to wall next door called the landlord, and they sent out exterminers - from the sound of it, they sawed a hole in the ceiling and dealt with the issue. Lo and behold - the loo smells fresh and clean again!  

All this wile Shawna was here... woo-hoo! Thank goodness she understands and is not jusdgental. Roof rats happen. 

After she left, another home care nurse arrived, Marion. He was great, lots of fun and friendly, and he did all the things needed - last Coumadin check, etc., gave me the dosage for the last 5 days of the course,  and officially discharged me from nursing care! More milestones! 

Toni got to work making a lovely pot of Ox Tail Soup - a childhood favorite. Best part of the cow, the tail. 

She was happy as could be, and we listened to the mix CDs we downloaded and burned for her - a list she'd been compiling for years! She doesn't have a computer, so I'm so thrilled I could help her add a great new array of music to her collection!

Then we decided to go on a little foray, all within the downtown Sacramento grid - all within a mile. Into the car, and off to the Japanese gift shop - all kinds of lovely gifty treasures there - and a few wee things for me. I was born in Japan, and all of the siblings have an affinity for things Japanese. Every now and again I need a little packet or two of origami paper, perhaps a nice new chopstick rest. The to the Asian Food Market - a wonderful array of products and foods, and a bit more nostalgia. We both love the Chinese sausage lap Xiong, so we got a packet. 

There had been talk of a drive into the beautiful Sierra foothills nearby, and possibly visiting a dear friend where he works at a wonderful gelato / espresso place, but he was quite occupied with the holidays and such and asked for a raincheck - happy to have it! A good thing really, after all - I wasn't quite ready for that much riding around. 

I was getting a bit sore and fatigued by the end of the second store, so I took the keys and popped out to relax in the car while Toni got a chance to browse a bit more and find a few treasures she doesn't have access to in the wee Colorado town where she lives. 

That's Christmas shopping - done and simple! One more electronic purchase to make, and a few things to mail, but it may just have to happen a day or two after Christmas. We shall see. 

Home again, shower time. The first of my butterfly strips on the surgical scar came off in the shower today, just as they are meant to. As soon as they are all off, I can get to cross-massaging the scar to work the keloids out of it. if any. I used gentle but firm cross-massage with coconut oil on the first surgery's scar nad it worked perfectly. the scar is amazingly well-healed - my doctor and nurses are all really surprised that it's only from this last August!   Yay for healing well! 

A bit later, we dined on that gorgeous Oxtail Stew - absolutely perfect! Then we settled in for some more episodes of Call the Midwife and a few chocolate covered Macadamia nuts procured on our shopping foray today. :)  

We had hoped to catch up on a lot of movies now that I have a Roku, but it seems Netflix has a LOT fewer current big name movies available for streaming than if you are ordering them on DVD. I find it annoying and disappointing. 

But - we do find good things to watch. 

My bum issue did NOT keep me awake as I'd feared, fortunately - the dimethicone cream I use now seems to help a lot. 

I did, however start to feel it about halfway into the second of the three episodes of tv we watched this evening. I know that getting up and lifting up to relieve pressure is the thing to do, but when you are very tired from a big day, it's hard to do, and when you are recovering from surgery, you sit a lot. Hence the problem. I did as much as I could, and now it seems I'd best get to bed and off this desk chair. 

Toni will be cat sitting for our bother from Saturday afternoon (tomorrow) to Monday morning, but it's kind of perfect timing. I'm ready for a bit of quiet time for some meditation, writing, reading and napping, perhaps... plus, I do have friends coming to visit over the weekend. Sh'll get a nice break from the constant fetching of things (Water, medication, meals, etc) that are involved in helping someone recovering from orthopedic surgery. 

The friend's visits, too are good timing - I've been feeling the absence of being in my theatre community of wonderful friends, so this will be lovely! Two dinner deliveries on Saturday and Sunday, and there are lots of leftovers in the fridge and freezer ( Toni is masterful at managing what is ready to freeze when as new dishes are made or brought and such) - this will be helpful for the first bit of time I'm actually here on my own. 

I was happily able to putter in the kitchen and get my own food and coffee and such on my own yesterday, so I'm making lots of progress. Bit by bit, and gradual independence is good. 

Too abrupt and it might be overdoing it, stressing myself - trying to do enough and not too much is such a balance. I am so grateful for my sister beng here, and friends who are bringing nourishment as well. 

Also, it seems a few of you are reading me here - I appreciate it! -M