I walk around the corner in my bedroom toward the desk, and there is a full-length mirror beyond it. I see myself standing STRAIGHT for the first time.
In my life.
In the mirror, I see someone who looks beautiful and very happy.
I walk a little slowly, and with a smaller and smaller limp by the day- when I get up after sitting a while, it taks 2-3 steps to stretch out and get stabilized, but stabilize, it does, and I can move more nad more smoothly across the floor, and more confidently and calmly.
My SPIRIT is calm, and serenity is a thing I am beginning to feel, rather than just remember or anticipate.
Pain doesn't bend me, or crumple my face in sourness and worry. Just standing straight takes pounds off of my silhouette, too - always a nice thing!
I have lost weight and will clearly continue to in this process, with fewer and fewer pain and stress hormones blocking the way, and with good regular walking and exercise biking (I bought recumbent exercise bike three or four years ago via Craigslist for $50 - it takes stress of hands and wrists (I had carpal tunnel syndrome at the time I purchased it - repaired with hand therapy and acupuncture), and it has a low pofile, so I have it parked in front of my fireplace in my livingroom. It is unobtrusive, and I care not if it isn't exactly fashinable decor - it is where I will use it (If I am watching tv, I can as easily do so on the bike as from an easy chair).
I am very, VERY close to using the bike again! in fact, after my physical routine today, I am going to just go experiment with it - am I quite ready? Even slow rotations might be a nice muscle-loosening wrm-up.
I must remind myself to lift and move my right foot forward when I am sitting - I no longer have to sort of jump it forward in tiny jumps, which was the only way I could move it before sure to pain, and the inability to actually lift the foot off the ground using the proper hip joint/muscles. NO problem now.
Makes putting on pants a kind of happy occasion! Not taking any of the simple things for granted any more!
MORE success/ progress!!!
I've just done my full physical therapy routine, with new stretches and exercises (on my back, tilt the pelvis, hold it stable and move legs and arms in various configurations - this is a tough and great one! It is clled the "Dead bug". PTs have a sense of humor. ) and I added PNFs (Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation) stretches - it is a resistance technique I've been using for several years. Within about five minutes, I was able to finally, FINALLY "frog" my hips out to the sides, flat, knees bent. This has been impossible for YEARS.
It feels like a cool breeze moving through me, clearing things out and making me feel all CLEAN inside, physically and mentally.
At this point, it seems that almost every "new" ability I try is succeeding - it is just waiting for me to think of it, carefully move through it, and very mindfully perform it. Walking...
soon comes dancing and occasionally a little running, just because I can.
I am NOT a "runner" and don't intend to become one - but to be ABLE to again will be a JOY! Walking and dancing are my exercise joy, and I intend to employ it abundantly very soon!
**************************
Dec 29
I was able to get a ride with friends to a wonderful annual holiday party this afternoon!
I didn't even *think* about taking the walker. It was all cane, and it was great! We stayed until about 9:30, and all that sitting was no problem at all! Oh, victory!
We had a grand time - I ate sugar, chocolate, cheese, dips, salty crackers and chips ( All gf, of course!) and had a glass of champagne! :D I've been eating pretty well and avoiding too many sweets, but today was a day of indulgence!!
The party hosts' circle includes many wonderful musicians, and a couple of hours in, the guitars came out! That's when the party really gets going! I had a great time singing with terrific musicians - a great, welcoming and fun group of smart and talented people.
And I met a terrific new friend who has several mutual friends in the poetry and theatre world. She had a brain injury 4 years ago and it took her all that time to come back to health - she, too had to learn to walk again - we are somewhat parallel in our lives, and we both instantly felt that there are just some people that you meet when it's time to meet them!
I am freshly showered and content. Ready to get fresh x-rays and see my surgeon for the post-op consult.
Still almost befuddled that it is here - the four week mark.
It is kind of fun to be out in public and socializing, and have a conversation about the susrgery. When they ask "When did you have it?" I say, "One in August, and one four weeks ago."
Jaws drop. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please leave me a comment - I'd love to hear from readers to see if what i'm posting has been of help to you as a potential hip replacement candidate, someone who is going through it with them, or just someone reading about my experiences. Thanks!