12/26/2013 from Doubts to A Red-Letter Day!

A note I wrote this very early morning in bed on my phone: 
12/26 1:09 am

Here in the dark i'm kept awake by a concern which wants to become a worry. 

This right hip replacement, if I am remembering right, is much more painful in the joint area for longer than the first, left, one.

This pain is the only thing keeping me from walking, as it keeps me from putting my full weight in the leg in order to take an unsupported step. It's not "Uncontrolled by pain medications" kind of pain. It's "Please get healed enough to be strong enough to support my" pain.

I worry that my x-rays on the 30th will show that it is somehow not right. 
"Revision" is Not what one (I) want(s) to hear . That means yet another surgery I neither want nor can afford. I have worked so hard, and undergone a bloody LOT in four months. 
Trying to stay positive , hoping I am over thinking it and this is normal, the over-  reaction will bear out in the x Rays, 

Sigh
Back soon

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My facebook status today: 

"And so ... Drum roll... This is a Big Day! My physical therapist today addressed my concerns about not quite walking yet... Got some new core exercises to do... Worked hard and well, nice long walk with the walker....
And then, came home and tested using the cane. 
And FINALLY, FINALLY!!! Since 11:30 am, i have not needed the walker. 
I went to the loo and back from my living room chair, went into the kitchen(including a step up and one down each way), made lunch, carried it into the living room... All without sitting down. 
I may need it a little more just as a rest between, but my progress is so fast with this amazing surgery that i think it's a few days at MOST until i can walk away from it for good.
I am considering this "walking", because it IS!!! The next big one is walking unsupported... But having the framed apparatus out from in front of me for the first time since June???
You have NO IDEA. 
Wow."


Of course, an alarming number of friends actually DO have an idea... 
but feedback was kind and loving and very supportive - made me feel great. 

The day started fairly early. Toni was going to visit a friend for the morning. I got up and made coffee and got a bit of breakfast. It feels good to putter in my kitchen again! 

Shawna came, and I told her about my concerns and how much I need to be walking. She agreed that we should book in  at least two more PT appointments, and we'll be meeting again tomorrow. 
Then we got to work. She massaged my rogue knee (Swollen bursa) and then gave me a new set of exercises, focusing on the Core and getting that Ilio-Psoas muscle group back in good strong working order, to get those sore and abused thigh muscles strong and working again. They were hard, and it was worth it! Still, I feel less pain in PT than most patients with other injuries or surgeries. Very grateful. Thankful for the PIlates breathing techniques I learned, as well! 
After that, we walked for a record distance - all the way to U Street (3/4 of a block) and up U half a block. I got home and up the stairs, less fatigues than ever by that time. and STILL had the energy to work with Shawna on walking with my cane - and lo and BEHOLD!!! - It WORKED!!! A little sore, but no longer too sore to put weight on the hip joint for the whole arc of a full step! 
It was pretty consistent, too - she video tapes it - I'll try to link it soon. After she left, I rested a bit, then tried a trip to the loo with only the cane  - Made it! Then, the kitchen, made a sandwich, cleaned up some dishes, carried my lunch onto the living room IN MY HAND! 
All little "miracles" I've worked so hard to achieve!! As the afternoon wore on, I uesd the walker a bit due to fatigue - but I did have to greet Toni walking on the cane. It only took her a minute to get it, and then she celebrated with me! 

We decided to do a bit of cleaning out of old things while she's still here in conjunction with doing a bunch of laundry. We got quite a lot done, things looking nicer and more organized. 
Then we went to the laundromat (Stopping at the Co-op for a few things and at Jimboy's for dinner!) .. it was probably too much for me off the walker, but it was nice to insist and use the cane, even though it was slow and a big twingy. 
But we got a lot of laundry done ( Seven loads?) and stopped on the way home for a celebratory treat from Rick's Dessert diner. Chocolate Hazelnut Torte for me, German Chocolate Cake for Toni! 
home again, got laundry mostly dealt with and sheets back on my bed ( hurrah!) and then we vegetated in front of the TV.
I iced quite liberally - but this time, I was really feeling the work today - hoping I didn't to  Classic "Over-did it!" Shawna may kick my ass tomorrow. 

Early day tomorrow, so I'm off to bed - but It was a GREAT day, using the cane, even though it's still tender and slow. Very very good! 

Goodnight while I'm still making relative sense! 
-Martha