I don't believe in the validity of war, but I do respect and thank all who have the courage to give up any part of their lives to serve and protect, and thank those who lose their lives in the process. Like my Dad, who was in the Air Force - he was a bit of a mess, largely because of what he did in the service which ultimately killed him - but he died on active duty, and though he was a mess, I thank him for what he did, his service to the country, and the good things he did give us ( like a home in beautiful Northern California to come back to after he died).
There seems to be a cadre of people who are cranky about "Happy Memorial Day" wishes. There are internet memes, "When did Memorial Day become National BBQ day?" Well, I respect that, but i would submit that we all mourn differently - and different cultures actually celebrate their dead with festivals, picnics on their deceased loved one's graves and offerings to their ancestors, all in joy. Wakes are a celebration of those who have gone before.
Last night I cried many tears as I watched the Concert for Memorial Day from the National Mall in DC. Touching readings of letters from military people from the front, music celebrating those gone - some sincere, some cheesy (I am not certain that the breathy young thing singing "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic was *exactly* the thing, but that may just be me), some patriotic and some deeply moving.
And then, today, I took the third day of the three day weekend and went to a lovely, relaxing barbecue with dear friend from the theatre community, maybe one or two of whom might have served in the military. We shared food, and conversations from serious and deep to silly and full of stories and laughter. I don't feel guilty for enjoying the company of my friends.
It was lovely to be there among more friends who have not seen me this well or happy in a very long time and their congratulations and marveling hugs... but it was also wonderful to feel the same way toward the two hostesses, both of whom were going through cancer with a month of each other at the same time I was having hip surgeries. Brain tumor/surgery and radiation for Kris, and breast cancer and chemo for Robin. It was wonderful to marvel at their recoveries and how well they are doing. We had all shared thoughts at the time about how, if we were not laid up ourselves, we would be there along with the others to help... And there were days when some lovely couple would cook and bring me dinner having just returned from driving Kris or Robin to and from their treatments. We talked tonight abut how incredibly loving and generous our theatre community here in Sacramento is. We could not be more fortunate.
And so - without awkward or ambivalent feelings, I wish you a Happy Memorial Day, and grateful thanks to those who served and sacrificed.
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