Twenty-something Things I look forward to:

Twenty-something Things I look forward to:

1. Using a regular bathroom stall

(and not being angry every time I go into the public bathroom and find three empty regular stalls and someone parked in the disabled stall just because it's roomy).

2. Not having pain/frustration-related meltdowns on a regular basis.

(today, it's too many trips to the microwave to heat up my lunch, the lunchroom being occupied by a meeting - and the fact that I am sick of imposing on the generosity of my co-workers. and yes, I am going to eat a disgusting half-frozen enchilada because my hands and hip and knee just can't bear another trip across the building.)

3. Walking, just moving forward on my own feet with no physical support.

4. Walking for pleasure/exercise in my beautiful neighborhood, rain or shine.

5. Just getting in and out of the car. 

No pain, no messing with getting the walker out of the back or putting it back in, with or without help.

6. Carrying - anything -  up or down my stairs. 

Groceries, garbage, luggage, a small friend... anything.

7. Taking a dance class - to improve my dancing, for fitness, to learn, and for fun!

8. Yoga

9. Sex

10. Vacationing somewhere interesting (even the part where I have to present my Hip Replacement card to security at the airport )

11. Vacuuming. 

Really. And I don't like vacuuming, but when you REALLY need to do it, it stinks when you can't do it yourself.

12. The first time I can just take a deep breath, prepare, and - run. I am not a "runner" and dislike running as exercise. But being ABLE to run if I want to - sublime.

13. Standing, walking, dancing, doing anything on a stage 

(Especially if it doesn't involve having to sit down.)

14. Getting ready for anything and into the car in half the amount of time it takes now.

15. Not feeling the need to explain why I am using a walker everywhere I go.

16. Not having to "deal" with the walker in public places - 

where it goes, who will bring it back to me when I need it, etc.

17. Not having to pace myself for endurance.

18. Shopping where I need to 

without having to consider the size of the parking lot or the inside of the store, or how many things I should not buy because I can't get them up the stairs (Too big, too heavy, etc.) And I don't like shopping, even normally.

19. Strolling.

20. The ability to focus fully on something -  

acting, work, driving - without having a big chunk of my head distracted by pain and the ever constant working out of how to get the thing I dropped, how to move this leg with a minimum  of agony, how am I going to get up from this seat that is lower than I thought it was??

21. Climbing my favorite mountain again.

22. The luxury of forgetting - just every once in a while. 

Of not *having* to be SO SO CAREFUL of every single physical movement, all of the time. Mindfulness is the way to live, don't get me wrong! This whole journey is, i am certain, a huge lesson in the value of mindfulness, living in awareness of the moment as much and often as one can.

But - the luxury of being able to drop one's guard, just every great now and again.