9/30/2014 A Great Weekend - So Much to Do, People to See, Poetry to read and hear, a Lovely Wedding and... DANCING!!!!

I danced last evening - I DANCED!

For the first time in about 4-5 years! I have *craved* dancing - I really love it! - and I fully intended to have a dance party, but my venue fell through, and I am not in a position to afford renting one right now, so, que sera.

This was at a spectacular, delightful wedding in Shenandoah Valley (California)  Wine country, on a winery,  overlooking rolling hills covered with trees and vineyards.

The band was terrific, and they had a great, eclectic playlist. We freestyle danced to rock - a little "Shout", some Elvis and such… The we fox-trotted to some Sinatra - I was very rusty, and my friend Michael was too, but we got the hang of it after some hilarious stumbly reminders, and getting the rhythm back our bones!

A bit later a gentleman asked me to dance, and we danced essentially a one-step to a wonderful Latin tune I love, Sway. He was a very strong lead dancer, which helps a LOT - and he was patient with my occasional stumbles! It was delightful.  

I was tickled to death when I left the floor for a breather at one point, and the woman dancing behind me took my arm and said, "You are a wonderful dancer!!" I am not deceived that I don't have a long way to go, but it was great to know that after all this time, I can brush off enough moves to appear to know what I'm doing, and have a really great time doing it!

It was a very active, lovely weekend, in fact!

I haven't been up to so much activity and gotten through it just great in SO long.

Saturday, I participated in an annual poetry event, 100,000 Poets for Change. A full day of reading and hearing poetry with friends.

I was nervous about mine - I haven't been writing much this year… but I came across on I wrote on December 9, 2013 five days after my second surgery - and it I had completely forgotten!! And it was perfect. My friends really enjoyed it, and at least one of them - Whom I respect the most - was very complimentary. Kudos from him are precious - he holds very high standards.

There was a lot of very good poetry read, and good to see friends in the poetry community.

Then dinner with a few - and home for the evening to finish the wedding gift - for the wedding Sunday! …

Sunday was *GREAT*! Farmer's Market, brunch with more dear friends, home to get ready for the wedding and off to *just!* catch the limo shuttle buses taking us all up to the venue about 40 minutes away in the foothills!

As mentioned, the wedding was fantastic. Beautiful place, people, and ceremony. Delicious and elegant food, spectacular sunset, great weather, lots of laughter, seeing friends from out of town, meeting the bride's new family - all from Australia. Like 25 people flew over!

We were so happy to see what a great family she is marrying into - hers is wonderful, too - so it was all about the love.

And the DANCING!!!!!  It was such a joy to just say Yes to several fun activities during one weekend, no disclaimers, and go - to ALL of them. And feel just swell afterward!

Today, I'm a little sore and tired. But still, happy! 

9/8/2014 One year Surgeon's Follow-up Appointment, A Lovely Walk in the Moonrise

I had my one-year follow-up with Dr. Smith, my Orthopedic surgeon today.  It was actually a year and fourteen day- check... It went so well... x-rays first, of course, then up to floor 3.
Whenever I go in now, I see people on walkers and with canes, and all I can think is, "If you're here for a new hip or two, you are in for the happiest change of your life!!"

Dr. Smith was his usual friendly self, and he took a look at my X-rays and declared that they look *great*! Everything is rock-solid, and he feels really good about how I'm doing. A+!
As always he asked me how I ma feeling, and I told him about my last three month's (since our last appointment) improvements. He said, "You look like you've lost some weight."
I haven't weighed myself  - in fact, I forgot to have them do it in his office, where the scales tend to be reliable. Mine are crap.
I told him how I am walking or cycling or both, most every night. He was glad to hear it, "well, if you're on a bike for half an hour every day and walking, that'll make you lose weight!"

My clothes aren't feeling it in the fit quite yet, but they certainly are not getting any tighter! I expect I'll notice it more, soon.
I forgot to ask him a few questions but they probably aren't his area anyway. We did discuss the "Antibiotics for every dental appointment *forever*(at this point)" issue. Oh well. I think they are not helping my auto-immune issues, but then, I don't want any systemic infections to cause issues with my replacements, either. So there it is.
We hugged - I really appreciate that a professional who has had such a profound effect on one's life has the warmth to be a hugger :) - and he said, "OK! I'll see you in a year!"
So it's on the calendar!

I came home, texted Mariam and asked her if she was available to go to our traditional "post-surgery Ice Cream at Gunther's", and she and our friend Eddie were! Eddie is having some pretty amazing successes as a professional actor right now, and it is very exciting! Eddie Ray Jackson...  a very talented home town guy, and I'm proud to see him really taking off!!

Home again, took a nap (I've been up late knitting a gift for a young friend who is having heart surgery this Thursday) and the evening was so stunningly beautiful, I had to get out into oit to walk. No excuses about the heat, and I was charged by Dr. Smith's enthusiasm!

So after dinner, out into the evening I strode. I decided it's time to break my personal best "since" (since before my hips crumbled several years ago) and walk ten blocks. My previous best was 9 blocks, so I did a good, solid ten.
As I rounded the last corner near home, I saw the moon, GIANT and bright, peek up over the houses in the darkening neighborhood. I was happy i'd brought my phone and made this rather sweet photo!

It turns out I'd lost track, and tonight was the Harvest "Super" Moon. just gorgeous, up there hollering for attention! 

Then home, more knitting, staying up too late. and that was a lovely day. 

9/3/2014 Better...

Better today.
My Facebook status tells it:

"Better... it was just enough cooler this evening to get out and walk seven good blocks, which can never fail to help lift the spirits... Met four friendly people with lovely dogs on their walks, and visited with the very cool neighbors across the street - I saw people painting and hand to go say hi! 
Making a colorful backdrop for an urban use awareness day going on in a couple of weeks - very cool women! 
Time to get some dinner together and later, half an hour on the 'bike, and maybe a few chores... maybe even finish the current knitting project..."

I did get that half hour in on the bike, dinner... 
chores, not so much... 
And worked on that knitting a bit.  

Getting out is enormously helpful. 

9/2/2014 You Can't Let Up. This is Frorm Now On

I won't dwell - but here's a cautionary thought:

If you have a slump, you're going to want to do whatever you can to get out of it .

The more you walk and bike (Or swim, or whatever your choice of keeping your body moving...)
You MUST keep it up.

The more you do, the better you will feel, and you will be pain-free.

The less you do, you will feel like you'll never walk easily again. And eventually, you might be right.
It can be reversed quickly, but it cascades... you feel bad/down/uncomfortable to walk in the heat, etc.. so you don't go walking.
The phone rings 15 minutes into your 30 minute bike session, so you cut it short...
you will feel worse.

Trust me on this.

The more you can get your butt out the door or onto that bike, just DO it - the better you will feel.
I'm workin' on that part tonight. i will NOT waste this chance to change my life nad keep it moving upward!!

We live, we learn.
But the point is, to live well.

Get moving, my friends. USE those new hips, now that you''re got 'em.

8/31/2014 Working it Out...

I didn't make it to the Farmer's Market this morning - stayed up too late knitting on a beautiful pair of fingerless "writer's gloves" with lovely wool yarn brought back from Dublin by a friend last year. Glad to be creating again...

So this morning I realized at 10:30, before my shower, that I hadn't time for the Market. 

But I met a dear friend for brunch, and it was tonic to see her. Se get each other... this is a very god thing. 

I am finding that part of my lonely feeling has to do with my best friend Deb being gone... a somewhat delayed reaction almost a year after her death, as I am back to the mobility I had in the days we spend a lot of time together, as well as, even in the days of being very busy, needing to make time - she would give me a Christmas gift of a beautiful calendar and a page of stickers :"Time with Deb". She had the same, and we would make sure to get a date on the calendar very month, using those stickers.  simple, beautiful gift. 

And so, I realize that one of the elements of my boredom and lonely feeling has a lot to do with the hole she leaves in my heart. 

I am deeply grateful to have many lovely friends, but in life, people pair off and group up... and my closest group has disbursed somewhat. 

It is a little difficult. It is also a touch harder when you are single, as I am. I have very important male friends with whom I get to spend time as often as possible, but time and distance being what they are, sometimes, that is not often enough. 

Still a bit in that arroyo of - if not self-pity, at least restlessness. So many things I would do with more money and more people to spend time with. 

I am also craving cooler weather to get out of the house and walk in. I took a nap, and the light was pretty much gone when I woke up... not the smartest idea to walk alone in the dark... it i a pretty safe area, but sometimes summer gets a little crazy. 

And so it goes... a three day vacation with nothing planned, and frustration. 

Sorry that this isn't the happiest and most Hopeful of posts... it is something others may run into, and I am simply working on a way to re-insert myself back into the world better. I'll let you know what I figure out!! 

8/30/2014 Unanticipated Boredom...

Hmmm... well... 

Here's a thing I didn't anticipate. Here I am a year plus after surgery #1, and able to get around very, very well - just need to build stamina, but of course, that is something that is alway good to do. But there's really nothing that I would say I am not really able to do yet - maybe take a long hike, yet. But otherwise, good! 

So, here I am with a WONDERFUL THREE DAY WEEKEND! And here I am - still single... and three-day weekends seem to be for couples and families to get away and do all of the THINGS! Camping - hiking - kayaking - romantic getaways... 

i am not feeling sorry for myself because I "don't have a man" ... I have wonderful people with who I can and often do spend time... 

But there is only so much that is as fun to do solo as with someone, and well, there's that budget... and it is bloody hot... 

But there they are - tons of photos of friends off camping, kayaking, taking romantic trips to the ocean. 

And the first half of day One of Three - I am bored and a bit cranky, stuck much too much to Facebook and Screens to keep me occupied... 

I knitted today, organized some of my new living room configuration (a year's worth of nesting around the big lifter/recliner which I no longer need, got rid of yesterday, and need to get it al sorted and tossed or put away again... 

Finished a wonderful book last night... 

I could study some Portuguese and read or write some poetry... Those are all tied to computer/iPad too... 

I am just antsy.. and I had forgotten about that, because when it is a given that you will be at home sitting, your world becomes very small, and you rarely, rarely go out unless you have saved up the energy and are willing to sacrifice energy the next day. 

So, though there is NO lack of gratitude for the very energy and capabilities I now have again - I would love to go dancing, to the river, any amount of activity... I have opted out of theatre *quite* yet for various reasons, so my time is not filled with rehearsal and learning material... very soon, but not quite yet. .

I feel like a bored 56-going on 40 teenager. 

I am about to grocery shop, and this evening will cook dinner and watch a bit of Doctor Who (new episode - yahoo!) and do at least half an hour on my recumbent stationary bike... But I need to be in the company of people. 

I have the Farmer's Market and brunch with a friend planned tomorrow morning... that's a good thing. 

*sigh*. 

 

 

8/26/14 Not Settling - A Happy Life - Goals

Yesterday I had my walk  - six blocks - shorter than usual, and I am trying to make them longer and get to a mile regularly (about 12-14 blocks,) but six is superior to none. I always pace myself, planning my route so that I can take the  option to go ahead and make for home or add another block to go around if I feel up to it.
I decided that I needed to do the exercise bike, too - and on a week night! I watched Sherlock win seven Emmy Awards as I cycled.
I love it on days when I can do both walk and cycle. It's one reason I'm not unhappy about not accepting a role in the Christmas show I was offered. More time to make sure I keen the routine and get stronger and healthier as time goes...
I will be in a show in the spring. I'm also really looking hard for an adult dance class - they are hard to find ( and afford), but I've been given some leads to explore. One recommended ballet studio offers one beginning contemporary dance class - exactly what I need - but it is not on their calendar right now. I'll keep an eye out for it and keep looking

I do also hope to start a nearby yoga class very soon. It is a special restorative class, and sounds perfect for me.
Budget allowing.
I hate that budget (stretched to breaking by the payments I have for my part of my hip surgery medical expenses, even though I have insurance that paid for all but 1.25 % of the surgeries and my share of office visits... still, they are very expensive surgeries. And so I cannot sometimes afford the supplements which keep me at optimal health/healing, or physical sup[port such as dance classes, yoga, massage or chiropractic care.
This is frustrating.

As compared to the vast benefits of having the hip replacements, they are relatively small issues - but I will not settle for "better". I will use this opportunity to be the best possible. It would be a huge injustice to me and to my life to just settle for - "Oh, neat! I can walk now! What's on TV? I don't feel like getting on the bike or walking tonight. So what if I'm a little stiff tomorrow?"
And more the next day, and then I am just getting by.
And sure - I watch some TV on a quiet night. I knit or get on the bike, or just relax after a long day. But I would rather, and more and more often do, get out - meet a friend for coffee, walk, get to the Farmer's Market, see a play, hear poetry read live, or read some myself at an open mic... and of course there are the times of be4ing in rehearsal or performances - that's the STUFF!
But the idea of a sedentary life spend in front of a TV when I have the precious physical ability to get out and MOVE is just too much.

I refuse to just get by! My life and what I can contribute in the world are worth so much more than that.
Life is good, so very, very good. It is a gift, and taking the best care possible of it is our personal duty. Due diligence - not just hanging out.

People often talk about Goals in Life.
There is this is idea that you have to want to be a CEO, or to Get to New York/Broadway, or Get Married and Have Babies... These are all wonderful plans...
But when I think about goals - I live in a place where I am happy, and amongst people whom I love and who love me.
I work in a job which, though is not a huge paycheck, is stable and also with good people.
And I have the opportunity to perform on stages as an Actor, a Singer, a budding Poet; to Direct other actors sometimes, or provide them with costumes or props which I have made or procured - to help to make a show look just right...

It's not that I don't have a Goal... it is that my goals are on-going... I think that my Goal is where I am. Not to settle, or be complacent or lazy. I am doing what I love to do, NOW. I am creating HERE.
And if I were to find myself with a better income, I would be happier, and if I were to somehow find that I could make my livelihood only creating Art, and not having to drive to and from to a 9-5 job, that would be even lovelier.
Yet, I understand that this is my choice, and for many good reasons. I love my life 90% of the time... I like it 95% of the time, and the 5% that I may not be so happy with? Well, them's pretty damned good percentages.

I'll continue to strive to take better and better care of myself,  become stronger and healthier, and eat good, delicious, healthy food with the occasional indulgence...
Bring on the chocolate! Here's to a happy life!