I always think of the subject I want to write about at work, tuck it away in my tired brain, and forget it.
I think today was something about - well, bowels.
I was thinking that today I'm running fairly smoothly. It's been a roller coaster.
post surgery, the combination of surgery and Norco really stopped my digestive track. I didn't quite realize how bad it was until about two days hom, maybe 5 days after surgery.
then it felt like a large, sharp rock was sitting just at my colon. And it was bad - and got worse.
Pushing and straining isn't great with one new hip and one still-bad one - but it wasn't happening.
I was on: Prune juice(Warmed for faster action), Collase stool softeners, Seneca laxative, eating lots of fruit, and drinking tons of water.
All of those are supposed to deal with constipation. It wasn't happening.
I spoke with my home care nurse, described my pain and straining.
He said, "It sounds like you're pretty close to a dangerous blockage, and that is bad. Blockage means surgery - you don't want that. First, wean off that Norco ASAP! Second, take your suppositories. Third, if you have to get an enema.
You may need - and I can do this or you can - to digitally extract the stool."
I really wished I'd accepted the "Sutter COcktail" in teh hospital - milk of magnesia and prune juice, I just didn't realize I needed it! I felt FINE.
He handed me a bag full of rubber gloves. This is also my first serious encounter with hemorrhoids - (I told you it was going to be nitty gritty, but I think you should know about this aspect of surgery - this is a common problem). Believe it or not, this was the VERy worst aspect of my first surgery.
I will NOT have it happen in the second one. I plan to take Metamucil 204 times a day from the moment I can have more than clear liquids in the hospital.
After the extremely painful "extraction" - it took about 4 hours for it to all finally descend and get cleared out - I felt MUCH better - the prelude was horrid. Painful, nauseating, with sweating, gut spasms... - I was still in a lot of pain. hemorrhoids are as bad as they say.
I had hemorrhoid cream - but then I developed a kind of diaper rash - awful red, painful, horrible itchy. I had my friend pick me up some Boudreaux's Butt Paste - diaper rash medicine.
For weeks it was bad enough to keep me awake at night. It would get better and worse - sitting for long periods could get bad.It also spread to my - erm - ladybits. Really more of an irritation than anything else. but damned if I could find the right combination of creams etc. to make it go away completely.
Digestion swung from normal ( I started Metamucal) to very loose and acidic (Not good on those rashy areas), and it has just dragged on.
I am ALMOST there now... hence my thoughts today on having pretty decent, almost normal conditions in the area.
I'm trying NOT to eat much white/refined sugar. It helps! I was doing great - then Hallowe'en happened. Not out of hand, but disappointing... the less I eat, the better my bowels and skin.
The hemorrhoids are receding - but there are two places where the skin is cracked and really not making enough effort to heal. Uncomfortable, but I NEED to be as wound-free as possible for surgery.
Sutter is VERY serious about their standing as having an exremely low post-op infection rate. I'm ALL for that!
SO - back to it tomorrow. BUt I ate well tonight - chicken and lots of broccoli... but a few Gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. SO... I'm strong most of the time. Stoopit sugar.
-Martha
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
A pretty good day.
Today started a bit fraught... justa slow and somewhat sore start...
but this evening has been pretty good.
I managed to get to Rite0Aid to pick up my BP Prescription ( Which I plan to wean from after surgery/chronic pain are gone and walking is back in my life.. lowest-level high BP came right along with the pain - I don't plan on taking chronic medication for no reason.)
Some good sun communication with friends, donner was good - relaxing.
I found my pink slip to get my new-to-me car (finally - two months late) registered... a GREAAT burden lifted... managed to give and receive a few good laughs and some sweet exchanges with loved ones.
Made a bit of progress planning my dear Deborah's "FUN-eral' ...
ANd if I can make it to bed in the next half hour, I'm doing OK for a night bird who needs more sleep that she normally gets.
It is four weeks from my surgery today. :)
but this evening has been pretty good.
I managed to get to Rite0Aid to pick up my BP Prescription ( Which I plan to wean from after surgery/chronic pain are gone and walking is back in my life.. lowest-level high BP came right along with the pain - I don't plan on taking chronic medication for no reason.)
Some good sun communication with friends, donner was good - relaxing.
I found my pink slip to get my new-to-me car (finally - two months late) registered... a GREAAT burden lifted... managed to give and receive a few good laughs and some sweet exchanges with loved ones.
Made a bit of progress planning my dear Deborah's "FUN-eral' ...
ANd if I can make it to bed in the next half hour, I'm doing OK for a night bird who needs more sleep that she normally gets.
It is four weeks from my surgery today. :)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Over-doing.. or not? 11/4/2013
This weekend I did some fun things.
I am trying so hard not to push myself too hard - to rest as much as possible... not overtax the still crumbling right hip and painful knee. But some thing are do it or miss it things.
I had a mostly good experience dealing with getting around disabled facilites...
Months ago, tickets went on sale for a concert my a favorite singer of mine, Portuguese Fado singer (Fadista), Mariza. My dear friend Nan and I are big fans, so I bought good tickets, the new Green Music Hall on the Sonoma State campus, in Rohnert Park. almost 2 hours' drive, but not to be missed.
Nan drove up from the Fresno area Saturday afternoon, we talked and caught up and visited, and then we were on the road )
Of course everything always takes a long time for me, but we really did get out of time in a decent amoutn of time. It took all day to plan, but it happened. There is little I dislike more than being late for a live performance, especially with my walker in tow at the moment - sneaking into a seat it not really possible when the ushers have to take and stash the walker, etc.
But - we made it into town, scoped out the hall location, grabbed a bit to eat and go to the hall about ten minutes to curtain.
Of course, I had to use the loo, and the handicapped parking spaces were, as is too often the case, prety far away from the building. The walk was really pretty taxing. Nan offered to drop me nearer to the door, and I probably should have let her, but I was concerned that she would arrive late, and that woudl be awful. So, the longer that it looked walk... then into the loo - several open stalls, and of course I had to wait for someone who was not disabled to vacate the disabled stall.
She came out, looked down at my walker and gave me that sheepish, "Oh, sorry!" look. I have lots my ability to be friendly about this particular thing. I just pursed my lips and looked at her. Perhaps it was uncomfortable enough for her to re-soncider using the stall when she has the other option. Clearly, people with chairs and walkers and other variants on limited mobility do not.
That dealt with, when we got to the lobby, we made a beeline for an usher - who happened to be the cheerful and respectful head of disabled seating services or some such! She efficiently and kindly got us to our (excellent!) seats, all the while telling us how lucky she felt to work at their beautiful (and it really is STUNNING!) hall. The seats are all wooden(With a small inserted cushion in the seat) - but incredibly comfortable! I nearly never sit for more than an hour without need some kind of stretch (whether I can get one or not). These were amazing.
Great (Amazing!) concert, and then time to go. Nan went to get her car, and the traffic directors showed her where she could drive right up to the building - designed just for handicapped pickup! Excellent!
I had though to bring a freezer pack of ice packs, and on the way home it was good to use them. It was a lot of walking and extended sitting in teh car and hall, and I was really feeling it. Getting home, I was really sore. But I slept well, being pretty worn out.
Sunday, I saw the second of three time seeing the National Theatre Live encore of Frankenstein. It is really brilliant. The two leads trade the lead roles of Victor Frankenstein and The Creature, and I wanted to see both - plus Benedict Cumberbatch is a tour de force in the role of he Creature, so I'm seeing it again next weekend. Again, a lot of sitting, but I gave myself tons of time to get there early and get a decent spot . it was worth it. I am pleased that today at work I wasn't suffering too badly.
It can't be ALL bad ;) - tonight I posted this as my Facebook Status: "Well, the kitchen has been melt-down free this evening! I made mashed cauliflower with garlic earlier with dinner - seriously delicious. Making a batch of banana paleo breakfast muffins in my new silicone muffin baking cups - they stand alone! Kinda cool. And -tasty breaky treats for a while! http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2012/04/banana-muffins-wbanana-chocolate-chip-option.html "
My concern is always, "Am I going to feel any better when the right leg gets worse? and, am I doing my left new hip damage, or just a bit of strain, when it gets sore from my overdoing,and it has to take the brunt of my weight with the weakness of the right?
It seems that the pain in the right can still come and go - yes, it is still deteriorating because it is still crumbling, but some days it's just sore, and it can improve from that. Ice still helps... heat still helps. Tylenol does too. I think I'll be able to get through this pre-op time so much better than the first.
I had been replying on Ibuprofen, and in the week before surgery, when all NSAIDS and supplements have to be cut out, Tylenol wasn't doing the trick.
Thank goodness it does, now, and I'll be able to take it up to the night before surgery. I won't have to resort to a few Norco tablets before surgery as I did last time.
Having the left hip done and just wonderful is probably 2/3 reduction in the previous pain levels.
Sometimes I have a hard time remembering/believing how terrible that previous pain level was. Especially on a bad right hip day.
But it is NEVER as bad any more.
I am at three weeks and 5 days to Surgery #2. Still stuff to do... Thanksgiving with my sister, brother, sister in law, niece and her husband and baby, and SIL's daughter and her husband and two kids shoudl be just lovely! ANd nice way to go into surgery this time - plus, there will be two holiday days (Thanksgiving). I had to take those last two days off as vacation the first time, my pain level was too uncomfortable to sit at a desk and work all day.
Patience... and needing to get some things done, like help plan and sing for my dear Deborah's memorial celebration - her "FUN-eral" as she called it. :)
moving forward.
-MK
I am trying so hard not to push myself too hard - to rest as much as possible... not overtax the still crumbling right hip and painful knee. But some thing are do it or miss it things.
I had a mostly good experience dealing with getting around disabled facilites...
Months ago, tickets went on sale for a concert my a favorite singer of mine, Portuguese Fado singer (Fadista), Mariza. My dear friend Nan and I are big fans, so I bought good tickets, the new Green Music Hall on the Sonoma State campus, in Rohnert Park. almost 2 hours' drive, but not to be missed.
Nan drove up from the Fresno area Saturday afternoon, we talked and caught up and visited, and then we were on the road )
Of course everything always takes a long time for me, but we really did get out of time in a decent amoutn of time. It took all day to plan, but it happened. There is little I dislike more than being late for a live performance, especially with my walker in tow at the moment - sneaking into a seat it not really possible when the ushers have to take and stash the walker, etc.
But - we made it into town, scoped out the hall location, grabbed a bit to eat and go to the hall about ten minutes to curtain.
Of course, I had to use the loo, and the handicapped parking spaces were, as is too often the case, prety far away from the building. The walk was really pretty taxing. Nan offered to drop me nearer to the door, and I probably should have let her, but I was concerned that she would arrive late, and that woudl be awful. So, the longer that it looked walk... then into the loo - several open stalls, and of course I had to wait for someone who was not disabled to vacate the disabled stall.
She came out, looked down at my walker and gave me that sheepish, "Oh, sorry!" look. I have lots my ability to be friendly about this particular thing. I just pursed my lips and looked at her. Perhaps it was uncomfortable enough for her to re-soncider using the stall when she has the other option. Clearly, people with chairs and walkers and other variants on limited mobility do not.
That dealt with, when we got to the lobby, we made a beeline for an usher - who happened to be the cheerful and respectful head of disabled seating services or some such! She efficiently and kindly got us to our (excellent!) seats, all the while telling us how lucky she felt to work at their beautiful (and it really is STUNNING!) hall. The seats are all wooden(With a small inserted cushion in the seat) - but incredibly comfortable! I nearly never sit for more than an hour without need some kind of stretch (whether I can get one or not). These were amazing.
Great (Amazing!) concert, and then time to go. Nan went to get her car, and the traffic directors showed her where she could drive right up to the building - designed just for handicapped pickup! Excellent!
I had though to bring a freezer pack of ice packs, and on the way home it was good to use them. It was a lot of walking and extended sitting in teh car and hall, and I was really feeling it. Getting home, I was really sore. But I slept well, being pretty worn out.
Sunday, I saw the second of three time seeing the National Theatre Live encore of Frankenstein. It is really brilliant. The two leads trade the lead roles of Victor Frankenstein and The Creature, and I wanted to see both - plus Benedict Cumberbatch is a tour de force in the role of he Creature, so I'm seeing it again next weekend. Again, a lot of sitting, but I gave myself tons of time to get there early and get a decent spot . it was worth it. I am pleased that today at work I wasn't suffering too badly.
It can't be ALL bad ;) - tonight I posted this as my Facebook Status: "Well, the kitchen has been melt-down free this evening! I made mashed cauliflower with garlic earlier with dinner - seriously delicious. Making a batch of banana paleo breakfast muffins in my new silicone muffin baking cups - they stand alone! Kinda cool. And -tasty breaky treats for a while! http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2012/04/banana-muffins-wbanana-chocolate-chip-option.html "
My concern is always, "Am I going to feel any better when the right leg gets worse? and, am I doing my left new hip damage, or just a bit of strain, when it gets sore from my overdoing,and it has to take the brunt of my weight with the weakness of the right?
It seems that the pain in the right can still come and go - yes, it is still deteriorating because it is still crumbling, but some days it's just sore, and it can improve from that. Ice still helps... heat still helps. Tylenol does too. I think I'll be able to get through this pre-op time so much better than the first.
I had been replying on Ibuprofen, and in the week before surgery, when all NSAIDS and supplements have to be cut out, Tylenol wasn't doing the trick.
Thank goodness it does, now, and I'll be able to take it up to the night before surgery. I won't have to resort to a few Norco tablets before surgery as I did last time.
Having the left hip done and just wonderful is probably 2/3 reduction in the previous pain levels.
Sometimes I have a hard time remembering/believing how terrible that previous pain level was. Especially on a bad right hip day.
But it is NEVER as bad any more.
I am at three weeks and 5 days to Surgery #2. Still stuff to do... Thanksgiving with my sister, brother, sister in law, niece and her husband and baby, and SIL's daughter and her husband and two kids shoudl be just lovely! ANd nice way to go into surgery this time - plus, there will be two holiday days (Thanksgiving). I had to take those last two days off as vacation the first time, my pain level was too uncomfortable to sit at a desk and work all day.
Patience... and needing to get some things done, like help plan and sing for my dear Deborah's memorial celebration - her "FUN-eral" as she called it. :)
moving forward.
-MK
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Halowe'en 2013
Today was Hallowe'en. At work, a goodly percentage of people dress for the occasion, and we have a potluck and a costume contest... as mentioned previously, I didn't intend to dress up. But I do get razzed a bit if I don't participate, so I though, "I'll take the advice I give others who want to dress up a little but don't have time etc... wear your pajamas! it's different that daily work wear and you'll be comfy!"
I did just that - wore a long pretty red sleep shirt I purchased for surgery #2 (As it will be during cold weather) with a satin collar and the iconic 60's "LOVE" image by Rover Indiana and ruffled sleeves, and slippers. Cute, cozy, and totally pointless.
I didn't go downstairs for the potluck - all I need right now is a gluten bomb - and I was really not feeling the "Getting around a crowded room with a walker " thing. Also, I realized, catching sight of myself in the full-length mirror, that I looked far too close too my own Post-op self. I had inadvertently costumed myself as a post-op hip replacement patient. Not my intention. No shame in it, but - too close to home-ish.
I did mention to a co-worker that, had I felt more able to get about and get crafty supplies I could have dress up the walker as something fun - he suggested a Chariot! Brilliant! My props maker's mind went to work - two stick horses attached to the front, a piece of poster board painted yellow with a fancy red border on the front, perhaps, and dressed as a Roman in a toga?
Well... Perhaps next year, if I can even stomach the idea of bringing the damn thing out when I absolutely do not need it at all any more! (Also, it is borrowed.)
 | |||
| The good news... the works pals I sit nearest love to dress up, | and they do a really good job of it! A Gypsy Fortune Teller, two Anime characters and a Killer Bee! |
So much for Hallowe'en.
I had a great night out to see the London National Theatre's live broadcast encore of "Frankenstein" with friends... Benedict Cumberbatch as the Creature, and Johnny Lee Miller as Victor Frankenstein. A brilliant telling of this classic story made fresh and new - absolutely stellar production, every inch of it, and Cumberbatch's performance is a master class in acting. Went with a big theatre group and it was splendid. A bite to eat out afterward next door, and then home by 11... but it was a little taxing.
One must choose the social over the domestic, sometimes, or just go a little bonkers staying at home. This will be a big weekend, I just have to pace myself. More on that after the fact.
Good news is, I slept pretty well, having forgotten to add a half-dose of OTC sleeping aid to my evening Tylenol/Cal-mag and amino acid dosage. Realized it as I was getting into bed, but I was feeling legitimately sleepy, so decided to go without, I slept better than I have in a while, even getting to bed late. On the way to work, I thought, "What's different?... hmmm ... eyes aren't stinging ... OH! I feel a bit rested! Well hooray for me!"
Digestion has been off for several days so I backed off added Magnesium (Taking it for bone growth, but it has the added effect of being laxative. :/ ) Seems improved.
Crossing my fingers that my pre-op bad right leg (Hip to ankle hurts most of the time, all radiant pain from the deformed/deteriorated hip) will hold out enough to get me to December 3 (Four weeks, Four days!!) still decently rested.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Pre-Hallowe'en
Hallowe'en.
I LIKE it - it's FUN!
But a couple of things..
At work, because I do theatre, they expect me to dress up, and be very clever about it. I used to - there were some memorable ones... it's in the details, and since I am a costumer and a props master in addition to acting, directing, etc., I tend to have resources.
But. It can be a bit of a "busman's holiday" (the bus driver doesn't take the bus to go on vacation.)
Actors - we dress up and put on makeup and use props all the time. So, especially, if you are in the middle of a production, the idea of dressing up yet again can lose a little of its luster. It can also feel like a bit of a chore. And there's everyone at work, telling you "You HAVE to dress up! "
SO this year, it feels very odd not to. I just don't have the strength or energy. I have things I could use in my storage area but it's been a fraught year, and there are quite a few things in path of my access to materials. Physically, I just can't deal with it.
I could just dress in SOMETHING to participate... but when you're getting around on a walker, no matter how fancy, it spoils the look.
I could even have built something clever around the walker (A chariot came to mind - briefly) - but again, that entails getting to the stuff needed in my craft storage - or getting out and buying things...
And then there is the costume parade, and then the potluck lunch ( also a thrill for a gluten-free person - I don't need to risk a gluten-bomb right now. )
I just don't have the spoons.
SO I'll keep my head down, and deflect the "Why didn't you dress up?!??" questions, avoid the candy (sugar makes me feel like hell) and the kind offers to fix me a plate. I'll have a good lunch at my desk and let Hallowe'en go by, and watch the other costumers parade by this year.
Not a pity-party - just a safe move.
Next year, we'll see about Hallowe'en.
I LIKE it - it's FUN!
But a couple of things..
At work, because I do theatre, they expect me to dress up, and be very clever about it. I used to - there were some memorable ones... it's in the details, and since I am a costumer and a props master in addition to acting, directing, etc., I tend to have resources.
But. It can be a bit of a "busman's holiday" (the bus driver doesn't take the bus to go on vacation.)
Actors - we dress up and put on makeup and use props all the time. So, especially, if you are in the middle of a production, the idea of dressing up yet again can lose a little of its luster. It can also feel like a bit of a chore. And there's everyone at work, telling you "You HAVE to dress up! "
SO this year, it feels very odd not to. I just don't have the strength or energy. I have things I could use in my storage area but it's been a fraught year, and there are quite a few things in path of my access to materials. Physically, I just can't deal with it.
I could just dress in SOMETHING to participate... but when you're getting around on a walker, no matter how fancy, it spoils the look.
I could even have built something clever around the walker (A chariot came to mind - briefly) - but again, that entails getting to the stuff needed in my craft storage - or getting out and buying things...
And then there is the costume parade, and then the potluck lunch ( also a thrill for a gluten-free person - I don't need to risk a gluten-bomb right now. )
I just don't have the spoons.
SO I'll keep my head down, and deflect the "Why didn't you dress up?!??" questions, avoid the candy (sugar makes me feel like hell) and the kind offers to fix me a plate. I'll have a good lunch at my desk and let Hallowe'en go by, and watch the other costumers parade by this year.
Not a pity-party - just a safe move.
Next year, we'll see about Hallowe'en.
October 30 ... the fine art of Patience...
Here's another rambling post - I have points to make, but catching up... and so many things moving through my head. Try to follow... There are some good points in here, I think.
Having had very little sleep this week ( I took a sick day yesterday, as I had a total of zero hours' sleep the night before) and over-done on the weekend, I am moving more slowly and painfully.
This is entirely due to the "Bad" right leg - I must think of a shorthand for the leg which hasn't had surgery yet...
Who would think that two consecutive nights of dinner and the theatre - with a walker - would be "over doing it"?
It's a meal. And sitting - watching other people onstage.
But it's also getting TO the restaurant, sitting on a chair that is unlikely to be comfortable to a crumbled hip (most are not), getting back in the car, off to the theatre... both times, even with disabled parking, at least a quarter mile from parking to the theatre and back again...
There's sitting for approximately an hour at a time with no chance to stand and stretch what needs stretching...
And I'll confess, as the second production I saw was a splendid production of HairSpray, the musical, I was up on my feet at curtain call and "dancing" - as much as one great hip and one immobile hip can manage to dance.
Then, a visit backstage with actors...
All of these things cost "Spoons"(See previous post). And then, the following days, there is pain, and a lot of it at night, hence no sleep. None of this is good for healing from one hip replacement, or preparing for another.
I had a good ol' meltdown in the kitchen last night. Too hungry (Slept all day to catch up, didn't get up to eat - unusual for me)... dropping things, cooking from sitting position, dripped hot olive oil on my hand while CAREFULLY (!) removing the sweet potato fries from the oven... I don't have the meltdowns as often as I used to pre-surgery, which was daily... but they are still no fun. Food and a few kind words from friends talked me down. I highly recommend that - patient friends. :)
I choose not to resort to Norco before surgery if I can possibly avoid it. I dislike the stuff - makes me woozy, dizzy, and the dreaded constipation, which I will avoid at just about any costs.
But there's the sleep issue, SO I got an over the counter sleep remedy. took half dose last night. maybe a bit better.
Hence - my mantra of "Patience, patience, patience" -
It's just shy of 5 weeks until surgery. It's been DRAGGING along - then I made a To Do list.
Nothing like a good To Do list to get time to speed up!
It is nowhere near the list I had before the first surgery... home prep is essentially set -
the accoutrements - the shower chair, hand-held shower head, canes, walkers (One for the apartment and one for the car, as I can't get one up and down stairs), grabbers, toilet lift handle/rails... etc.
but there are groceries to buy, tests to have, I need to get my sister dialed in to the whole process, as she'll be here for this one... Laundry to do...
A memorial celebration for my best friend to plan.
So many people to ask for help. I don't know if they are getting inured to my requests (most likely is that they are usy in their lives, and that is only fair!)... but frankly, I just don't know how else to do this. I try to spread out the requests, because I don't want to take advantage of anyone's good and generous nature. It's a balance. I must keep reminding myself that I would want to help any one of them if they needed it.
I simply can't do a lot of things just yet.
I need to be sure that I do everything correctly again - I worked so hard for the first surgery to make certain that there were no problems - nothing that would prevent my surgery from moving forward. I am much more relaxed and downright looking forward to it this time, but I must not become complacent. Taking care of myself is vital. I am - but I must remember that even if I feel crappy, I need to continue do my physical therapy. Just now the right leg is dragging down the left, as it not only has to heal and get well, but it simultaneously has to hold everything up and be the workhorse as the right one continues to deteriorate, as much as I am careful and mindful.
I must renew meditation, too...
But sometimes I just want to sit down and think nothing and do nothing.
I have exciting plans this weekend which include a visit from a very dear friend, Nan, whom I seldom see (She lives three hours away), and driving to Sonoma to see our favorite Portuguese Fado singer, Mariza - a long trip. Fingers crossed to keep it easy - thank goodness dear Nan has volunteered to drive. I think I need to give my right/gas pedal leg a rest.
After that, just a few small outings, then Thanksgiving, and I hope to keep a pretty low profile otherwise.
I am so excited to be better, that I keep costing myself too much. This is a really important thing to watch for - and this is me really trying hard NOT to over-do. Ui.
Not long now... plenty to do, but - Patience patience patience!!
Having had very little sleep this week ( I took a sick day yesterday, as I had a total of zero hours' sleep the night before) and over-done on the weekend, I am moving more slowly and painfully.
This is entirely due to the "Bad" right leg - I must think of a shorthand for the leg which hasn't had surgery yet...
Who would think that two consecutive nights of dinner and the theatre - with a walker - would be "over doing it"?
It's a meal. And sitting - watching other people onstage.
But it's also getting TO the restaurant, sitting on a chair that is unlikely to be comfortable to a crumbled hip (most are not), getting back in the car, off to the theatre... both times, even with disabled parking, at least a quarter mile from parking to the theatre and back again...
There's sitting for approximately an hour at a time with no chance to stand and stretch what needs stretching...
And I'll confess, as the second production I saw was a splendid production of HairSpray, the musical, I was up on my feet at curtain call and "dancing" - as much as one great hip and one immobile hip can manage to dance.
Then, a visit backstage with actors...
All of these things cost "Spoons"(See previous post). And then, the following days, there is pain, and a lot of it at night, hence no sleep. None of this is good for healing from one hip replacement, or preparing for another.
I had a good ol' meltdown in the kitchen last night. Too hungry (Slept all day to catch up, didn't get up to eat - unusual for me)... dropping things, cooking from sitting position, dripped hot olive oil on my hand while CAREFULLY (!) removing the sweet potato fries from the oven... I don't have the meltdowns as often as I used to pre-surgery, which was daily... but they are still no fun. Food and a few kind words from friends talked me down. I highly recommend that - patient friends. :)
I choose not to resort to Norco before surgery if I can possibly avoid it. I dislike the stuff - makes me woozy, dizzy, and the dreaded constipation, which I will avoid at just about any costs.
But there's the sleep issue, SO I got an over the counter sleep remedy. took half dose last night. maybe a bit better.
 |
| Patience |
It's just shy of 5 weeks until surgery. It's been DRAGGING along - then I made a To Do list.
Nothing like a good To Do list to get time to speed up!
It is nowhere near the list I had before the first surgery... home prep is essentially set -
the accoutrements - the shower chair, hand-held shower head, canes, walkers (One for the apartment and one for the car, as I can't get one up and down stairs), grabbers, toilet lift handle/rails... etc.
but there are groceries to buy, tests to have, I need to get my sister dialed in to the whole process, as she'll be here for this one... Laundry to do...
A memorial celebration for my best friend to plan.
So many people to ask for help. I don't know if they are getting inured to my requests (most likely is that they are usy in their lives, and that is only fair!)... but frankly, I just don't know how else to do this. I try to spread out the requests, because I don't want to take advantage of anyone's good and generous nature. It's a balance. I must keep reminding myself that I would want to help any one of them if they needed it.
I simply can't do a lot of things just yet.
I need to be sure that I do everything correctly again - I worked so hard for the first surgery to make certain that there were no problems - nothing that would prevent my surgery from moving forward. I am much more relaxed and downright looking forward to it this time, but I must not become complacent. Taking care of myself is vital. I am - but I must remember that even if I feel crappy, I need to continue do my physical therapy. Just now the right leg is dragging down the left, as it not only has to heal and get well, but it simultaneously has to hold everything up and be the workhorse as the right one continues to deteriorate, as much as I am careful and mindful.
I must renew meditation, too...
But sometimes I just want to sit down and think nothing and do nothing.
I have exciting plans this weekend which include a visit from a very dear friend, Nan, whom I seldom see (She lives three hours away), and driving to Sonoma to see our favorite Portuguese Fado singer, Mariza - a long trip. Fingers crossed to keep it easy - thank goodness dear Nan has volunteered to drive. I think I need to give my right/gas pedal leg a rest.
After that, just a few small outings, then Thanksgiving, and I hope to keep a pretty low profile otherwise.
I am so excited to be better, that I keep costing myself too much. This is a really important thing to watch for - and this is me really trying hard NOT to over-do. Ui.
Not long now... plenty to do, but - Patience patience patience!!
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Today - 10-27-2013 and the story of the Spoons...
Today, I awoke late after a very very long night of little sleep.
A good breakfast of poached eggs, sausages, fruit and toast with pumpkin butter was made - by me - with minimal fuss (a tiny broiler burn on my knuckle - nothing of note).
A slow morning, and then to a friend's to help plan his wife's memorial (My best friend Deborah) . He gave me the ring I had given her many years ago after a trip to Scotland, Charles Rennie Mackintosh designs - I bought us each one. I will wear it with mine, now.
The over-done weekend took a little toll - probably why my right knee was too painful to let me sleep.
But I passed on a party I meant to go to, due to fatigue and the thought of their 8 steps up to the door without a rail (Old Victorian house), I knew people could help me get the walker and myself up, but it just - made me decide to go home. A good nap was had an a good dinner.
Conversations with good friends via Facebook and telephone were helpful.
Friends are everything in this situation. Loneliness is an unnecessary malady these days, and I'm grateful for that. Social media's positives far outweigh the negatives in my book.
Learning that I don't yet get to stay up as late as I like, and that sometimes even getting to bed means I won't sleep... so that pacing myself is still very important.
My late friend battled brain tumors for over twenty years. At first, non-cancerous, recurring meningioma. Three barin surgeries, two intense radiations, and one short and terrible round of chemo (as well as two broken hips, herself, as her medications created brittle bones). The last two tumors proved cancerous, and she lost that battle after over a year in home hospice care.
One of the things she learned in the process of surviving as long as she did was from a writer, Christine Miserandino, on her website "But You Don't Look Sick", to describe the fatiguing effect Lupus had on her. It's become known as the Spoon Theory
The metaphor was this: Think of your days as a set of spoons. You start each day with a certain amount of spoons. They contain your energy, stamina, and strength. The idea is to reach the end of each day with a little in reserve. So, each decision through out the day involves deciding how many spoons the activity will cost you.
"Do I drive to the market? Go to coffee with a friend? See a play? Go to the bank? Stop on the way home from work to buy those items at the hardware store (If I can get the walker through the aisles)?"
Sometimes the answer is, yes - I can afford the spoons to go to the bank and pick up a few items that will fit in my backpack, so I can get them up the stairs - or a few more items and call a friend or neighbor for help getting them up from the car to my second floor apartment.
Some days - I must just get home, and only make the one trip down and then back up the stairs.
If you use all of your spoons, this is when the nights are liable to be more sleepless and emotional meltdowns come. I am grateful to Deb that she shared the Spoon Theory with me, both so that I could understand what her life was like day-to-day, and to follow in her footsteps and understand my own process now.
The other BIG - ENORMOUS lesson is asking for help when one needs it.
It can be hard to ask - and remember that the people who have volunteered their help have done so sincerely and because they love you. You would gladly do the same for them. This is the key.
The tricky part is when you are in need, and no one at the moment, through no other reason than their busy lives. The stinky trash stays on the house, or the fur of your inordinately long-haired cats builds up on the carpet and every item you own (trying to get a decent work outfit together and NOT have it covered with cat hair is a challenge)...
You just have to have patience... and use the resources which have been offered to you. Call the three friends in your neighborhood... or knock on your kind next-door neighbor's door or send them a text.
One of them will come to your rescue.
And when you are ambulatory again, or stabilized to be as able as possible, perhaps you can pay it forward, in one way or another.
But no one ever offers help expecting you to pay it back. Pay it forward, and when you can.
Ask for and receive help for as long as you need. it will get your task accomplished, and it will make your friend feel good that they were actually able to help you! I promise!
These are a few of the many most-valuable legacies my beloved sister of the heart left me, and so many who loved her.
A good breakfast of poached eggs, sausages, fruit and toast with pumpkin butter was made - by me - with minimal fuss (a tiny broiler burn on my knuckle - nothing of note).
 |
| My ring on the left hand, Deborah's on the right. |
The over-done weekend took a little toll - probably why my right knee was too painful to let me sleep.
But I passed on a party I meant to go to, due to fatigue and the thought of their 8 steps up to the door without a rail (Old Victorian house), I knew people could help me get the walker and myself up, but it just - made me decide to go home. A good nap was had an a good dinner.
Conversations with good friends via Facebook and telephone were helpful.
Friends are everything in this situation. Loneliness is an unnecessary malady these days, and I'm grateful for that. Social media's positives far outweigh the negatives in my book.
Learning that I don't yet get to stay up as late as I like, and that sometimes even getting to bed means I won't sleep... so that pacing myself is still very important.
My late friend battled brain tumors for over twenty years. At first, non-cancerous, recurring meningioma. Three barin surgeries, two intense radiations, and one short and terrible round of chemo (as well as two broken hips, herself, as her medications created brittle bones). The last two tumors proved cancerous, and she lost that battle after over a year in home hospice care.
One of the things she learned in the process of surviving as long as she did was from a writer, Christine Miserandino, on her website "But You Don't Look Sick", to describe the fatiguing effect Lupus had on her. It's become known as the Spoon Theory
"Do I drive to the market? Go to coffee with a friend? See a play? Go to the bank? Stop on the way home from work to buy those items at the hardware store (If I can get the walker through the aisles)?"
Sometimes the answer is, yes - I can afford the spoons to go to the bank and pick up a few items that will fit in my backpack, so I can get them up the stairs - or a few more items and call a friend or neighbor for help getting them up from the car to my second floor apartment.
Some days - I must just get home, and only make the one trip down and then back up the stairs.
If you use all of your spoons, this is when the nights are liable to be more sleepless and emotional meltdowns come. I am grateful to Deb that she shared the Spoon Theory with me, both so that I could understand what her life was like day-to-day, and to follow in her footsteps and understand my own process now.
The other BIG - ENORMOUS lesson is asking for help when one needs it.
It can be hard to ask - and remember that the people who have volunteered their help have done so sincerely and because they love you. You would gladly do the same for them. This is the key.
The tricky part is when you are in need, and no one at the moment, through no other reason than their busy lives. The stinky trash stays on the house, or the fur of your inordinately long-haired cats builds up on the carpet and every item you own (trying to get a decent work outfit together and NOT have it covered with cat hair is a challenge)...
You just have to have patience... and use the resources which have been offered to you. Call the three friends in your neighborhood... or knock on your kind next-door neighbor's door or send them a text.
One of them will come to your rescue.
And when you are ambulatory again, or stabilized to be as able as possible, perhaps you can pay it forward, in one way or another.
But no one ever offers help expecting you to pay it back. Pay it forward, and when you can.
Ask for and receive help for as long as you need. it will get your task accomplished, and it will make your friend feel good that they were actually able to help you! I promise!
These are a few of the many most-valuable legacies my beloved sister of the heart left me, and so many who loved her.
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